Your kids First Time!!! (daughter, get married, twin, safety)

[RoaminRed]

When they were old enough, both my son and my daughter got the guided tour of the necessary areas of the pharmacy with instructions on what to buy and how to use it properly. My son was 13, my daughter around 14 or so. Now, as far as I know, neither of them actually started having sex until around 16 or 17, but they had the tools in place well before then, and I trusted them to make the right decisions. So far they have not proven me wrong (and they're 23 and 26 now).

Both of them have come to me many times with sexually related questions, which makes me feel as if I've done my job correctly.

[solarity]

Originally Posted by Twinkle Toes

She talked to me about sex as if it were one of the filthiest things a person could engage in. She made it feel like it was a dirty, shameful thing and something that if done outside of marriage, I was gonna burn in hell for. Putting me on birth control or any of that stuff was simply out of the question.

I just wanted to add to this. My mom was similar, maybe even a little lesser than what you had but I sort of had the opposite from your experience and want to warn people about it. Sex can be a physically painful experience for someone with negative emotional conditioning. Its taking me a long time to get over the conditioning and has at times been damaging to my relationship with my husband.

I honestly think my mom had no idea she was portraying it so negatively. She was just a concerned parent and warned me off of it in a very negative way.

[austinsmom]

This is tough! I would sit down with my son and talk to him about the ramifications. Kids just don't think about all the things that can happen. I couldn't just go out and buy them without some communication. I can't even think about it. My son is almost 8 and growing up way too fast!

[Lillietta]

I don't think they'd come to their parents about this. I think at 16 they would (not should) make the decision on their own.

[austinsmom]

Originally Posted by crystalblue

ive always thought, show em some pics of what happens when you get some of the grosser diseases, that might scare em off some...

Or you can go into great detail about pregnancy and what it does to you. I babysat my niece, who was 9 at the time, when I was pregnant. She asked me questions and my sister had told me to answer her honestly. I did. I pulled out the pictures and everything from the childbirth classes. The picture of the baby crowning just about did her in but you know what? She'll be 17 on Sunday and she says she will not have sex until she's married. She tells all her friends it's my fault b/c she knows what happens when you are pregnant and she doesn't want to go through any of that yet! Honesty is such a great concept

[Baloo]

I hope when my kids (6 & 2) are teenagers they will feel comfortable speaking to my husband and/or me about sex, condoms, etc. But just in case they are too shy, my husband and I have already agreed to have informative literature in an easy to reach place (rather than listening to drivel in the school yard) as well as a stash of condoms big enough that our children will be able to take some without feeling they will be found out.

My greatest concern is for the health of my children and having them protect themselves form HiV infection, venereal diseases, unwanted pregnancy etc. I prefer to be realistic about the pressures of hormones, emotions and society during the teens. I also see sex as a natural and wonderful part of life. My aim is to teach my children safe, responsible behaviour and to respect their own and others bodies.

It shoudl be a positive experience for both parties with no nasty after-effects.

[crystalblue]

Wade Edwards Catches Daughter Having Sex, Shoots Boyfriend in the Balls - True Crime Report

a bit of an over reaction!

[hlsess]

I have been thru this recently- daughter started getting serious with BF and I asked her to please wait- decided to get her on pill BUT they apparently had sex in May(they said they used condoms) she got an UTI and ended up in hospital- she was very sick- let it go too long before telling me- thought she could treat it herself- anyway -she is now on the pill-Since June and I think they are waiting but I don't really know- They are happy and i like him thankfully!!!

[JBMallory]

the talk, and then buy your own... if you're old enough to do it, then you need to be mature enough to buy your own protection... my daughters will have this handled by their mother, but if i was a single father, i could handle it just as well

[Severs]

while i would hope that they would wait untill they were actually in a serious relationship (aka, not high school dramance) i would probably buy them, or at least give them the money after a long talk, cuz teens will do whatever they please, and i would much rather they have them and not need them than they need them and not have em and i end up being grandpa before my time