Your kids First Time!!! (babies, support, toddlers, children)

[skahar]

I don't think I'll be surprised when she comes to me for this, I think I've made sure the communication lines are wide open on this, so I'm pretty sure I'll know when the times comes or at least when it's getting close. I've made clear all along that it is not a flippant thing that you do when the mood strikes but something that is meant for long term relationships and with someone you truely love. I think she gets it.

I will make her buy her own though. That's just how we are, we provide the basics and above that they must earn or provide for any extra-curriculars. That being said I will probably have to go get them for her because she can't even walk into a store and buy tampons yet, it's just too embarassing!

This was mostly for my DD who is 16, I'm not sure about my DS (11), we talk to him about growing up and the changes and all that but he is so embarassed by it that I think he will not ask us to get them, he would go get them on his own. He surprises me sometimes though so he might come to us or at least his Dad.

[sincere1782]

Originally Posted by Twinkle Toes

It's going to happen no matter what kind of values you have. I've never been placed in the position of having to do anything with regard to protection, but if asked I would probably give my child the money to go out and buy the condoms themselves. Trust me, if the parents are extremely strict and impose religious values and restrictions on their children, those children are gonna rebel - BIG TIME. I came from a home where my mom practically beat us up with her Bible. While we have Christian values of our own, my brothers and I got into different forms of mischief that perhaps we would not have gotten into had it not been so strict and religious in our house.

I'm adding this as a post script. My mom strictly forbade me to date. She talked to me about sex as if it were one of the filthiest things a person could engage in. She made it feel like it was a dirty, shameful thing and something that if done outside of marriage, I was gonna burn in hell for. Putting me on birth control or any of that stuff was simply out of the question. So, guess who got pregnant at 21 while she was in college??? Sure, I was old enough to go out and get my own protection at that point, but I was scared. Abortion was out of the question because of my upbringing. Also because of my upbringing my thought process was somewhat skewed concerning birth control protection. I thought when I had sex outside of marriage I was doing something I wasn't supposed to be doing anyway and if I got pregnant doing what I wasn't supposed to do, then that was my punishment. It took me moving away from my mother and gathering my own thoughts to finally have a completely different mindset from my mother. The way I thought about these things way back in the day is not how I think about them now.

wow...same thing happened in my family. I wasn't allowed to go out with boys, date, talk on the phone or anything. My dad never talked to us about sex and i was supposed to just not do it!!! Well when i got in college same thing happened i was 21 and pregnant. Although i was out of the house and on my own, it still changed my views on the whole sex education thing and how i wished i had someone to actually talk to me about the risks and saftey precautions prior.

[cr1039]

If the kid cant make the errand to buy the condoms themselves - with their own $ and without blushing - than they should not be having sex.

[rkb0305]

Originally Posted by crystalblue

If you had/have a loving trusting relationship with your child, and you tell them they can talk to you about anything, how would you respond when they come up to you at 16 and ask you to buy them some condoms cause they feel the time has come?

Would it change based on whether it was a son or daughter?

because I never felt I could go to my parents on this issue, I'd be overjoyed that he (I have 2 boys) came to me to ask. We (or he and his dad) would have a good talk. I'd probably make sure, one way or another, that he ended up with some condoms. If he's going to do it, at least he's thinking safety!

[rkb0305]

Originally Posted by puffle

I don't understand all the "Christian" comments? Is this presuming that other religions don't care about their children and don't have good family values? It's about good parenting. I don't know what I personally would do until it actually happens. I would rather he be protected which is something we have discussed for years.

I was thinking that too. Like ALL Christians wait for marriage, and no one else?

[rkb0305]

Originally Posted by Roselvr

Which "other"? There's one for gal & 1 for guy.

I have 2 kids.. my son always knew that he needed to be protected. When he 1st started working at Burger King at 14 he didn't make a lot of money so we bought them. I knew where he kept them and if I saw he was low or they were old, we'd buy more, throw out the old ones. I'm not sure at what age he started using them.. we're talking almost 10 years ago. So far he hasn't made me a grandmother so what ever I did worked.

My daughter is 14, and it's getting to be that time (the talk) for her. I'm not sure what route I'll take but have to deal with this in early 2008. I would rather she be protected though.. and realistically, I can't watch over her 24/7.

The question isn't for me, so I don't know, but I'm thinking spermicide, sponge, condom, pill...

[rkb0305]

Originally Posted by Liberty53000

That DOES actually work xD
Also, (some parents might want to read this) HIV really is more common than you think - at one of the highschools in the town I live in, they had a blood drive where 100 students gave blood, and 17 of them were HIV positive. So make sure that your kids know that STD's are NOT hard to get.
I'm a junior in highschool, and I haven't had sex yet - when my mom had "the talk" with me, it was pretty simple - not too detailed or anything. But she did say that if I had any questions or if I wanted someone to talk to, that she'd be willing to listen, and stuff like that.
She never said "DON'T HAVE SEX OR YOU'LL BE IN TROUBLE!" Which makes me glad, because now I know that if I ever want birth control or anything, I can go ask her without being yelled at or grounded, which I also think, makes it easier for me to NOT keep secrets from her.

YIKES!

my mom also told me the basics and told me I could talk to her. She didn't beat me over the head with the bible, she said something to the effect that "When you get married, you'll have sex." Even though she said I could talk to her, I never felt like I could. Maybe it was her body language, or something. I don't know. I never did talk to her about it. To this day (I'm 36, married and have 2 kids) she doesn't know how old I was or who my first time was with. It is just something we don't talk about.

[rkb0305]

Originally Posted by austinsmom

Or you can go into great detail about pregnancy and what it does to you. I babysat my niece, who was 9 at the time, when I was pregnant. She asked me questions and my sister had told me to answer her honestly. I did. I pulled out the pictures and everything from the childbirth classes. The picture of the baby crowning just about did her in but you know what? She'll be 17 on Sunday and she says she will not have sex until she's married. She tells all her friends it's my fault b/c she knows what happens when you are pregnant and she doesn't want to go through any of that yet! Honesty is such a great concept

When I was pregnant the first time I thought this too! Tell them they'll get fat and their boobs will never look the same again!

[Mercury Cougar]

Originally Posted by hlsess

I have been thru this recently- daughter started getting serious with BF and I asked her to please wait- decided to get her on pill BUT they apparently had sex in May(they said they used condoms) she got an UTI and ended up in hospital- she was very sick- let it go too long before telling me- thought she could treat it herself- anyway -she is now on the pill-Since June and I think they are waiting but I don't really know- They are happy and i like him thankfully!!!

The pill won't prevent a UTI, and neither will a condom. You need to teach her that she should urinate right after sex, and clean up properly.

[Shadow Dude]

There isn't much you can do when your teen[s] start asking about sex, or about buying them condoms. You can either say no, or buy your own. All you can do is tell them what can happen, and if it does happen, they're in trouble. Like you can get a UTI, STD, STI, get the girl pregnant, that condoms aren't 100% safe and can slip off and/or break,etc.,etc. If a teen wants sex, they'll have it, no matter how much a parent tries to make sure their teen doesn't do something, the teen is going to do it, it is very easy to get around a parents 'vision' to get/do what you want.