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Old 08-06-2014, 08:58 AM
 
17 posts, read 26,457 times
Reputation: 99

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Wmsn4Life View Post
I'm trying to do the math here.

You say you're in your early 30s, and your stepdaughter is 16??? Is that right?

How old is your wife? Was your wife a teen mom too?
I'm 34 and she's 38 and yes she was a teen mom.
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Old 08-06-2014, 09:08 AM
 
17 posts, read 26,457 times
Reputation: 99
This isn't easy here for none of us....... Some say I need to go or that I'm not marriage material and they might be right. I respect each and everyone who posts. Im lost for words as the troubles in my marriage have escalated from worse to grave since the of opening this thread. Our best friend just text me and said my wife will be looking for a place to live. I would gladly leave her the house but she can't afford it now and she will not be able to afford it when the baby comes.
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Old 08-06-2014, 09:11 AM
 
4,541 posts, read 9,499,866 times
Reputation: 3848
Is the only option here keeping the baby? Just curious.....
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Old 08-06-2014, 09:15 AM
 
17 posts, read 26,457 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jkcoop View Post
Is the only option here keeping the baby? Just curious.....
I just asked her about that a little bit ago and she said she wasn't forcing her daughter to get an abortion. By all means I'm not forcing her to get an abortion but if by doing so she can avoid the huge possibility of becoming a single teen mom with no education living of welfare.
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Old 08-06-2014, 09:21 AM
 
Location: Wisconsin
7,215 posts, read 7,571,302 times
Reputation: 7717
There's always the possibility of putting the child up for adoption. I'm not sure why that option isn't discussed more often.
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Old 08-06-2014, 09:31 AM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
39,092 posts, read 37,733,259 times
Reputation: 73766
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sad-Dad View Post
... she can avoid the huge possibility of becoming a single teen mom with no education living of welfare.
That also is NOT the only alternative.

She won't be a "teen mom on welfare" forever either.

What the heck happened between the first post and now???

If you truly love this woman like you said you did when you married her, then you need to focus on the reality of what that means and not your expectations being dashed.

This is no longer about your rules.
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Old 08-06-2014, 09:31 AM
 
17 posts, read 26,457 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MaseMan View Post
There's always the possibility of putting the child up for adoption. I'm not sure why that option isn't discussed more often.

I seriously doubt that the mother and daughter will go this route once the baby gets here. I have thought about it as a possibility but it's not worth bringing up.
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Old 08-06-2014, 09:32 AM
 
5,106 posts, read 6,068,318 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MaseMan View Post
There's always the possibility of putting the child up for adoption. I'm not sure why that option isn't discussed more often.
I am a fan of that myself, could be the greatest act of love.

OP,

You and your wife are in a no-win situation. even if you all accept or accommodate or whatever the potential always exists for resentment to breed within the relationship.

Marriage counseling might help.

But it seems your wife is wise to look for her own place.
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Old 08-06-2014, 09:41 AM
 
17 posts, read 26,457 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Wmsn4Life View Post
That also is NOT the only alternative.

She won't be a "teen mom on welfare" forever either.

What the heck happened between the first post and now???

If you truly love this woman like you said you did when you married her, then you need to look at the reality of what that means and not your expectations being dashed.

The father to be and his family live off the state and they where the first to insist that welfare will take care of them all. These people have made a career of our tax dollars!!! Why would we think otherwise?

I never said much since the first post.... All I said was that maybe an abortion may save these young kids life so that they can continue on with their education instead of the apocalypse that's headed their way. Statistics are that great for teen moms now a days. Most of them end up single and back home with their parents as the males get scared ****less when reality hits them. I was scared when I first had my kid as I didn't know what a dad was but I also had been working since I was 14 and by 24 had established good credit, had apartment, had good job with decent earning and it was still damn tight when the baby got here so I as a man worked a part time job on the side to provide for my son and wife at the time. There aren't a lot of men let alone kids that would think like that at an early age like I did without any government assistance!!
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Old 08-06-2014, 09:49 AM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
39,092 posts, read 37,733,259 times
Reputation: 73766
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sad-Dad View Post
The father to be and his family live off the state and they where the first to insist that welfare will take care of them all. These people have made a career of our tax dollars!!! Why would we think otherwise?

I never said much since the first post.... All I said was that maybe an abortion may save these young kids life so that they can continue on with their education instead of the apocalypse that's headed their way. Statistics are that great for teen moms now a days. Most of them end up single and back home with their parents as the males get scared ****less when reality hits them. I was scared when I first had my kid as I didn't know what a dad was but I also had been working since I was 14 and by 24 had established good credit, had apartment, had good job with decent earning and it was still damn tight when the baby got here so I as a man worked a part time job on the side to provide for my son and wife at the time. There aren't a lot of men let alone kids that would think like that at an early age like I did without any government assistance!!
Ok, I hear you. But you have to go through this "grieving" process so you can start thinking straight.

This is NOT about politics or tax dollars or welfare or your past or your wife's past. This is about a 16-year-old daughter of the woman you said you loved enough to marry. If your love really was unconditional, then you and your wife have to understand that there is a young girl and a baby involved who NEED smart, selfless adults to guide them through this time. IN fact, I'm betting that the BF and his family will be long gone before 9 months are up.

HOW YOU REACT will have a LOT to do with whether this actually becomes an "apocalypse."


I am trying to tell you that it doesn't have to end up that way. Did you even look at the "How to deal with a pregnant teen" thread that was suggested earlier? It will help you.

Get out of your own emotions and start thinking.
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