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Old 08-19-2014, 07:50 PM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
39,030 posts, read 37,675,762 times
Reputation: 73636

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Quote:
Originally Posted by DewDropInn View Post
Thank you, blu4u. You are absolutely right. But I wouldn't count on compassion from someone who took his wife on a fishing trip (whee - look how many we're reeling in!) during the time her teenage daughter was dealing with having her pregnancy terminated. I have NO idea what the mother was thinking.

On the off chance this whole thread is even remotely true..... I am appalled.
Yep, the whole thing is appalling and just ... sad.

It's been a while since I've seen such an example of clueless adults.
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Old 08-20-2014, 06:00 AM
 
17 posts, read 26,453 times
Reputation: 99
I'm appalled at some of the posts I've been reading on here!!!! I came here for some advice and help with my family and to better understand a teenager since I went from having a 3 year old son at the time to gaining 2 teenage kids. That was a big jump for me since I did not ease into their lives.... In their eyes I probably just showed up and started dating their mom. I see no point in keeping this thread up and running and it's probably a waste of time to keep updating this thread as there seem to be horrible and possibly miserable people being unhelpful.

In no way shape or form have I tried being demanding, controlling or have I made myself seem perfect after all please remember that I came here and I respected all comments made. I'd like to think that if I was any of that I wouldn't be out seeking for help from those that have lived through what I went and still go through. I'd like to thank those who shed the helpful post and help me see the light at the end of the tunnel but from here on I will not return to this site and if need be, I will seek family therapy.

Thank you all
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Old 08-20-2014, 06:14 AM
 
35,121 posts, read 37,802,296 times
Reputation: 61840
Quote:
Originally Posted by afoigrokerkok View Post
Completely false.
Quote:
Originally Posted by lkb0714 View Post
You keep saying this when it is not an absolute.

If that minor child goes on welfare, than, YES, the parents have obligations. The child needs to live at home, or in an appropriate out of home placement, and yes, the parents will either have to allow the minor parent and baby to live in the home OR contribute to the cost of the out of home placement. These are all part of the FEDERAL Welfare reform act, and as such is true in EVERY STATE.
Do you have a child that gave birth at the age of 15 in Illinois? I doubt it but I do so I do believe I will stick with what I know first hand is true and you all can believe what you want.
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Old 08-20-2014, 06:55 AM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
39,030 posts, read 37,675,762 times
Reputation: 73636
Quote:
Originally Posted by sad-dad View Post
i will not return to this site and if need be, i will seek family therapy.

Thank you all
"If need be"???
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Old 08-20-2014, 12:27 PM
 
421 posts, read 448,695 times
Reputation: 390
*sigh* yeah???people are like a pack of dogs here.

Sad dad, you are in a tough spot, I think you are human and working through the best you can. Best of luck. This would be hard for everyone.
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Old 08-20-2014, 01:00 PM
 
7,237 posts, read 12,646,436 times
Reputation: 8513
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sad-Dad View Post
I'm appalled at some of the posts I've been reading on here!!!! I came here for some advice and help with my family and to better understand a teenager since I went from having a 3 year old son at the time to gaining 2 teenage kids. That was a big jump for me since I did not ease into their lives.... In their eyes I probably just showed up and started dating their mom. I see no point in keeping this thread up and running and it's probably a waste of time to keep updating this thread as there seem to be horrible and possibly miserable people being unhelpful.

In no way shape or form have I tried being demanding, controlling or have I made myself seem perfect after all please remember that I came here and I respected all comments made. I'd like to think that if I was any of that I wouldn't be out seeking for help from those that have lived through what I went and still go through. I'd like to thank those who shed the helpful post and help me see the light at the end of the tunnel but from here on I will not return to this site and if need be, I will seek family therapy.

Thank you all
Honestly... Why haven't you already seek family therapy? There's lots of issues that need to be addressed.

I'm especially concerned about the fact that the girl is wanting to go back to the guy (since you claim there were a lot of berating, abuse etc hurled at her by the guy and his mother). It reeks of self esteem/respect issues. She's likely to end up pregnant again soon. She should be talking to someone (not her friends, and I guess her mother who doesn't seem to be imparting any wisdom) because she just went through something traumatic.
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Old 08-20-2014, 02:43 PM
 
2,321 posts, read 2,361,509 times
Reputation: 2645
Quote:
Originally Posted by Inkpoe View Post
Honestly... Why haven't you already seek family therapy? There's lots of issues that need to be addressed.

I'm especially concerned about the fact that the girl is wanting to go back to the guy (since you claim there were a lot of berating, abuse etc hurled at her by the guy and his mother). It reeks of self esteem/respect issues. She's likely to end up pregnant again soon. She should be talking to someone (not her friends, and I guess her mother who doesn't seem to be imparting any wisdom) because she just went through something traumatic.
Family therapy only works with willing participants. I am a friend of a young teenager whose mother is a highly recognized and respected child psychiatrist! This girl became pregnant at the age of 15. She and her mother both decided to keep and raise the baby. The girl miscarried at about 5 months during the pregnancy. First thing this 15 year old girl did was to go out and intentionally become pregnant again by the same boy since her mother was already willing to help raise a baby with her. She's in her 8th month now so its looking like this one will not result in a miscarriage.

You cannot predict teenagers'behaviors.
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Old 08-20-2014, 03:14 PM
 
Location: Tulsa, OK
2,444 posts, read 2,229,854 times
Reputation: 5848
I can hardly believe what I am reading here. I have 2 daughters who were 5 and 3 when I married my 2nd husband. He never once said, If your daughters become pregnant while living with us, our marriage will be over. Want to know why? Because he knew we were a package. My daughters thank God, never got pregnant (and are now 30 and 28) but, if they did, he never would have made me choose between him and them. I can't say that I wouldn't have been stressed as you are, but marriage isn't sunshine and roses 24/7. It is ups and downs, good and bad times. That's what being a grownup is. Things don't always go like you think. But if you love this woman and her kids, then you'll go for counseling and help this child. JMO PS...vacations and honeymoons are nice, but real life is what is happening under your roof. Remember, life is short....
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Old 08-20-2014, 05:50 PM
 
3,325 posts, read 3,260,957 times
Reputation: 8433
Plz sad dad, have the girl get a depo shot immediately. And no, of course not, she cannot go over to boys apt! What is wrong with your wife! Why wasnt this girl on birth control when mom knew she had a boyfriend? And she knew she was going to his place? She is gonna rely on someone elses parent to supervise?
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Old 08-20-2014, 08:05 PM
 
942 posts, read 2,689,160 times
Reputation: 679
I have not finished reading this thread. Maybe you and your wife could consider looking into placing her and her newborn in a home for unwed/single mothers. They get all help they need at such places.

Found a webpage: http://bit.ly/1s1tbia
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