U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Parenting
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Reply Start New Thread
Old 07-01-2015, 07:52 PM
Location: I'm around here someplace :)
3,633 posts, read 4,251,226 times
Reputation: 3980


Originally Posted by tlarnla View Post
I don't know if you can do that with a 16 year old. Kicking them out could be considered abandonment. I don't know if you can legally force them to have an abortion or give their child up for adoption. But even if you could legally tell somebody what to do with their baby, I'm sure the local press would have a field day with it.
Imagine headlines like "Stepfather Forces Stepdaughter to Abandon Child !" on your local newspaper, with your picture on it. I wouldn't want to get into a situation like that.

A person shouldn't be required to support somebody living in a manner they disapprove of, but minors have certain rights. He might want to talk to a lawyer about what he can and can't do.
To the best of my knowledge, parents can't legally force a minor to do either of those things, but I wouldn't advise that even if they did. What I'm saying is if the girl insists on keeping the baby, it's her responsibility, not her parents' responsibility.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

Old 07-06-2015, 12:26 PM
3,647 posts, read 9,307,282 times
Reputation: 5427
I have told my kids that if either becomes a teen parent they need to understand one key point - they day you become a parent, your childhood ends.

I haven't had to live through this either, so haven't had to decide what that would look like. My oldest is 15 - some may say that's too young to worry about, but with two cousins (of two different generations) who both started a baby at 15 (though neither child was born til the teens were 16), it is something I hope I never have to deal with.

Good luck. This is a difficult thing to go through. Sorry I don't have any advice
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 07-08-2015, 09:50 PM
Location: The New England part of Ohio
17,568 posts, read 21,748,544 times
Reputation: 44332
Originally Posted by Molli View Post
Great! Now it sounds like we have another teenager who is going to use abortion as her primary method of birth control. It also doesn't sound like her mother ever matured into an adult capable of being a MOTHER to her child- this happens often when someone becomes a parent during their teenage years.

Well, at least we don't have another child raising a child. One can hope that she will now use depro.

Abortion is a terrible method of birth control.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 07-09-2015, 07:40 AM
Location: North America
14,212 posts, read 9,614,142 times
Reputation: 5534
Originally Posted by Sad-Dad View Post
I desperately need some advice here since I really don't want to be a part of housing a pregnant minor. 4 years into this new relationship I had a family meeting and I specifically said to my step kids & son that they will have a home until the age of 24 as long as they don't come home pregnant (stepdaughter) and they don't get anyone pregnant (stepson & son from previous marriage). We'll my stepdaughter has always been the brave one and has done things that no1 has ever done before and now she's pregnant!!! For the last two days I've been really stressful and her mom (my newly wed wife) is a mess. We had a conversation yesterday in which I found out that the 16 yr old is keeping the baby (so far) and trying to stay in our house. I told my wife that I don't know if I can handle a baby in my house that isn't our baby. My wife and I talked about having a baby but with our schedule and our lack of time spent together I realized before I married her that there's a strong chance we couldn't have a baby of our own. I'm in my early 30's and I would've live to have a baby with her since all I have is just one son.... I knew this before marrying her and I accepted the possibility of not having anymore babies ever. Having giving up our wants and needs now we get this bombshell from this stupid teen that shows no freaking remorse for her actions. I told my wife that I'm not making her choose between her daughter and me but I don't want a baby in my house and I don't know what tomorrow will bring as far as me staying in this relationship.

We bought a house 3 years ago for the 5 of us and when I married her I chose to be there for her and care for her kids but never would I imagine that her baby would be having a baby at 16. I don't know what to do at all.... This young girl barely know how to clean her room so how is she supposed to care for a baby? I really don't want her in my house when the symptoms come and especially when the baby comes. Her father is a pos who lives with his momma at the age of 44+ so it's not like there's room for her in there and the baby father is 17 and he and his parents are shacking up with his sister in a 2 bedroom apt living off welfare and whatever the system has to offer. He's been texting my wife telling her that he will care for both of them but he's whole family is on welfare and basically homeless!!

Since my wife is my best friend and she's the one who has always been there for me and the light that shines my path I couldn't help but to come clean with all my feelings and I told her that this whole ordeal can break our marriage. No matter how much I try I just can't accept a baby at home that isn't our own. We get by financially but that's just it... Who do you think is going to buy formula, diapers, take time off from work to help her, get her to the doctors and etc? I don't want my wife to go thru that as she was a teen mom herself and I was planning for our future of finally doing things like vacationing, honeymoon, going out to diner, movies and etc without her kids texting her all the damn time. My wife is due for a good life stress free and I really feel that she will end up raising this baby even-though she says that won't happen.

What can I do to overcome something that I'm so against of doing? If I break this rule for my stepdaughter that means that I would have to do the same for my stepson and son. I really just want her out of my house or I can leave them the house.
If she is 16 then you don't really have a choice in the matter. She is a minor and you are required by law to care for her until she hits the age of majority. She could attempt to emancipate herself but you can't emancipate her.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 07-09-2015, 07:41 AM
Location: North America
14,212 posts, read 9,614,142 times
Reputation: 5534
Originally Posted by Tia 914 View Post
To the best of my knowledge, parents can't legally force a minor to do either of those things, but I wouldn't advise that even if they did. What I'm saying is if the girl insists on keeping the baby, it's her responsibility, not her parents' responsibility.
Correct, although I believe there is one State where parents legally have to sign off to allow their child to put their baby up for adoption.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 07-09-2015, 11:52 AM
Location: So. of Rosarito, Baja, Mexico
6,571 posts, read 17,949,017 times
Reputation: 5919
A step Dad is just that....a Step Dad who has not legally adopted a child cannot be forced to raise/support any child from a Stepdaughter or Stepson for that matter.

I had two step children and the oldest a girl had a baby she did not want or to care for (in jail at the time) and I was with my wife before a Family Court Judge regarding what would be best for the child (girl). The Judge understood my position not Legally adopting my Stepdaughter thus any decision was left to my wife who said NO......just as well as I would have been the sole caretaker as my wife passed away two years later from Cancer.....and her Daughter 10 days later from an overdose. (she had been using drugs in SF earlier....yes, that place)
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 07-12-2015, 01:38 PM
Location: Central IL
13,355 posts, read 7,121,412 times
Reputation: 31053
Originally Posted by phonelady61 View Post
well have you considered a marriage counselor ? why in the world would you step into a marriage knowing this was a possibility of one of the kids coming home to their mother this way ? it happens and how you deal with it is everything and if you cant handle it then maybe you and she should part ways yes divorce sorry but that is just an option that is open at this point . I think you both need to just sit down and talk about the situation and if you don't see any way of resolving it then I think you know that divorce is the only way .
Sorry, but what was the OP to do? Oh, you've got KIDS, any of which could get pregnant (daughters) or get someone pregnant (sons) and after doing so might want to come back home (or stay at home)? ...so I'm outta here? ...this was not constructive at all.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.

Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply

Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Parenting
Follow City-Data.com founder on our Forum or

All times are GMT -6.

2005-2018, Advameg, Inc.

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35 - Top