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Old 08-08-2014, 07:24 AM
15,760 posts, read 13,187,771 times
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I think that coaches have lost their minds a little bit. Football has always been a life eater but now soccer and lacrosse are having three hour practices everyday too. And if you miss a single practice, or even part of one, you're benched.

Team sports are such a great activity for kids, but the way they are run around here, they are the only thing a kid can do. They can't even take a day off if they have a big exam, or god forbid another activity they want to do. One of my students was offered a chance to go out on one of the big research vessels, something that almost never happens for a minor. He would have been gone for four days. His soccer coach told him if he left, he'd be off the team despite the fact the season hasn't started, and he would only miss two practices. So another student went.

It's a shame there aren't rec league type sports for high school kids, who want to go without the crushing level of commitment demanded by the school teams. Might be easier on parents as well.

Old 08-08-2014, 07:35 AM
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How long is football season last in your area? Are they in sports like this all year round or is it just for a few months? That is a tough schedule to do 12 months, but I am assuming that its just a few months of the year.

I definitely recommend setting up a carpool, that will help a lot. We have similar schedules with soccer during the spring and fall and the crockpot is my friend. Or I will make up dinner to pop in the oven when we get home, but its made.

Another option, could your family eat dinner at 5 pm and then give the boys a protein heavy snack after practice? that might help with the time crunch. I'm not sure if you are making it home for dinner currently or not.
Old 08-08-2014, 08:50 AM
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How often are you home and what are you doing to help with household chores. I think you need to pitch in a bit more. Get out the barbeque one nite a week and cook up a bunch of meat ahead of time, make some side dishes that will last in the fridge a few days -- this is one way you can help feed your family ahead of time on the nites you aren't home to do it. Pitch in and help do laundry, etc. Free up some of the time your wife is spending doing household stuff. Get with some of the parents on the football team and tradeoff carpooling -- each one of them would probably like a nite or two off from football.
Old 08-08-2014, 09:05 AM
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Does she have to stay for the practices? I used to drop my child off and go home to prepare dinner, etc. unless it was my turn to volunteer. On those nights I made crockpot dinners.

I would prepare the ingredients the night before, put them in the crockpot in the morning, and always make enough for leftovers.

My daughter had practices/meetings 3 mornings a week at 5:45, plus 4 nights a week from 5-8, and Saturdays were either practice or a competition. So, I understand how stressful it is. Once they start driving it becomes so much easier.
Old 08-08-2014, 09:13 AM
Location: WI
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How old are the kids? I'm assuming if they're playing football, they don't need mom to be at all the practices - she could just come home during the practices.

Set up a carpool too.
Old 08-08-2014, 09:51 AM
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Originally Posted by raindrop101 View Post
Does she have to stay for the practices? I used to drop my child off and go home to prepare dinner, etc.
Originally Posted by strawflower View Post
How old are the kids? I'm assuming if they're playing football, they don't need mom to be at all the practices - she could just come home during the practices.
Maybe she prefers to be at practices over cooking dinner. He could help, but he doesn't. Instead he complains and wants to make their world smaller just so he can have a hot meal on the table when he gets home from work.
Old 08-08-2014, 09:59 AM
Location: Bella Vista, Ark
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First of all: welcome to the world of 2 parents working outside the home and trying to keep up with kids schedules. I know it can be a real drain. Our daughter and son in law faced the same thing: both girls were in competitive swimming for years, plus the younger one played basketball and softball, plus took piano lessons.

They survived as a family by using car pools and having a lot of order in meals or pick up meals when returning from practices. Add to that competitive swimming means swim meets almost every weekend, pretty much year around. Both she and our son in law were judges to add to the stress. By the time the girls hit high school there were times when practice was early morning and late afternoon.

OP, you will get through this, and as long as the kids grades do not suffer, they will be better off than the kids who spend time glued to a computer.

I was a stay at home mom until the 2 younger kids entered JR High. Even as a stay at home mom, we were always involved in the kids activities, and yes, with the combination of car pools and order in/out meals we survived. Luckily I did have time to do some cooking. Our kids also swam year around and our son played football and baseball.

Let me also can eat healthy and still depend on take out part of the time, just make sure what you are ordering and where you are getting the food, plus make ahead and freeze entrees works well, or stick a roast or chicken in a crock pot early in the morning. Let it cook while kids are in school and mom and dad are working.
Old 08-08-2014, 10:02 AM
Location: here
24,472 posts, read 28,756,384 times
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Originally Posted by Hopes View Post
Maybe she prefers to be at practices over cooking dinner. He could help, but he doesn't. Instead he complains and wants to make their world smaller just so he can have a hot meal on the table when he gets home from work.
I too was wondering if his wife is having an issue or just him
Old 08-08-2014, 11:48 AM
98 posts, read 143,061 times
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Originally Posted by ostritch View Post
How much is too much in extra curricular activities?

I work out of town, and my wife has football practice for our sons Mom-thursday. 6-8 pm. So right after work its home to get kids ready and take them for practice. By the time they get home, shes too tired to make a proper meal, so its boxed dinners.
Friday is extra curricular for our daughter 6-8 pm. Offcourse by the time parents talk and leave its around 830 pm.

At what point did we wake up and think we need to over do this extra curricular activities?

When are parents getting rest , if after work they are shuttling kids to this and that?

My girls were told they were only allowed to do 2 extracurricular activities at any given time. We have two daughters, both of us work full time, that was all we thought was reasonable to manage and still have family/down time. If something had a practice 4 nights a week we might have cut back to one activity for that time. However, we never felt it was necessary to attend every practice they had and we car-pooled when necessary. [I know that's not always possible depending on where you live.] Sports practices and scout meetings were usually right after school so we only had to pick them up.
Old 08-08-2014, 02:55 PM
11,614 posts, read 19,729,031 times
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Originally Posted by ostritch View Post
Yes but im going to have a talk with her. We cant keep this up, 6 days a week all the time. We need to time to do other things. Play cards as a family, watch movies, read, study, learn, laundry, cook, visit family ALL AS A FAMILY.

Life can not revolve around work/school and after school and work - activities and us getting home at 9 pm, 6 days a week.

We also need time to do adult things without the kids, like dates. Which are very important in marriages. Any wonder most marriages are breaking up? Parents dont have time to romance each other.

There are other activities that can be done like Church. Volunteering. Etc. I want us to explore this and not just sports sports sports.
When my kids were smaller and we had a similar schedule my husband and I learned to spend time together at the field during football practice. Sometimes we would walk on the track together. Sometimes we would sit in chairs and just chat. Sometimes we would go get a cup of coffee near the fields.

Get a crockpot. You and your wife can learn to make good, healthy meals in the crockpot while you are at work. Plus-you can make enough for two days at a time. I would make something like red sauce meatballs and sausage on Sunday and make sure there was enough for a few meals. Then Monday I would make a chicken crockpot dish (again-enough for at least two meals). Tuesday we could eat the meatballs/sausage. Wednesday we would eat Monday's chicken. Thursday I made another crockpot meal which we could eat again on Friday. Saturday we went out. I rotated the actual foods so that we didn't eat all of the same foods over and over again but we ate dinner together every night and we rarely ate junk.

We went out on the weekends. Our kids are grown up now (two in college, one still in HS) and we don't have that schedule any more. It was hectic during those years but the kids really enjoyed their childhood and we are still a close family. The kids learned really good time management skills that have served them well so far.
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