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Old 08-09-2014, 02:56 PM
 
43,012 posts, read 89,033,856 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Katiana View Post
The bold shows the problem with reading about one experiment and generalizing one's parenting style on it. Did anyone replicate this study? Did they get the same results? Was the group controlled for X, Y, and Z? How many kids were tested? Etc,etc,etc.
The Stanford marshmallow studies were a number of studies that spanned years, including follow up studies on the same subjects---one of which was when they were middle aged. In addition to replicating studies, the also experiment inspired many other studies over the past 50 years. It's actually interesting stuff. There are genetic and environmental influences. Subsequent studies have proven that delayed gratification can be taught to those who lack if if someone bothers to teach them.

ETA: Interestingly, a follow up study determined the children with delayed gratification had higher SAT scores.

Last edited by Hopes; 08-09-2014 at 04:20 PM..
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Old 08-09-2014, 04:40 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Katiana View Post
No, not shame on you! Good for you, to recognize individual differences.
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The bold shows the problem with reading about one experiment and generalizing one's parenting style on it. Did anyone replicate this study? Did they get the same results? Was the group controlled for X, Y, and Z? How many kids were tested? Etc,etc,etc.
Don

This article talks about tracking the kids who were not able and able to delay for years, but the ones below have a bit of a different conclusion about the experiment than the original did.

Twist on 'Marshmallow Test' Shows Environment Affects Self-Control

Marshmallow Study and class - Boing Boing
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Old 08-09-2014, 04:45 PM
 
Location: Raleigh NC
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Quote:
Originally Posted by miu View Post
How many of you have heard about the Marshmallow Test? If not, please read the article in the link!

So all night, I saw these parents hovering over their children, tending to their every need and whim as quickly as they could. If the children seemed hungry, like a mother bird, the parent would find something to offer in food or dessert.

What do you think?
My sister-in-law did this with her kids. She would make their breakfast and they sat to be waited on. They tried that at Grandma's house and may have starved on her watch because she doesn't do breakfast. She'll scramble an egg for you, but usually won't get around to it until 11am or so.

Both of those kids have finished college and live at home with their parents. Working as clerks. No particular plans for the future.
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Old 08-09-2014, 04:48 PM
 
43,012 posts, read 89,033,856 times
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Those studies uncovered an interesting twist that doesn't speak well of the environments of children who lack delayed gratification.
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Old 08-11-2014, 11:57 AM
 
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Obviously the OP doesn't have children. After all, didn't we all say to ourselves pre-kids, "MY children would NEVER do that!!!"

And then you have kids and reality hits you like a slap in the face.

First off, yes, I do agree that children today are more pampered and do have less patience. My husband and I used to joke that our children were miserable sick patients, because they were never used to being uncomfortable. Hungry? We fed them. Thirsty? We gave them something to drink. As they've gotten older we have taught them delay of gratification. It is definitely a skill they need practice with.

As far as food, I agree that American children are often picky due to how we eat. I have a friend from France and I was amazed at what her toddler ate---just about anything her mom put down in front of her. I think the biggest issue with Americans is that we constantly placate our kids with food. Somewhere along the line we were taught that "grazing" was a healthy way to eat. As a result, most kids snack their way through the day and are never really hungry. It's hard to get your kids to try a new food when they know snack time is right around the corner. In France children don't snack all day like we do, so those kids are genuinely hungry at mealtimes. It helps.

I don't think children should be taught that they are 2nd class citizens. Also one never really can say how they will or will not react to parenting. Parents love their children more than anything, and often would do just about anything to make them happy. I don't know any good parent who would deny food to a hungry child, or wouldn't comfort them if they were hurt or lonely or sad or scared. The flip side of good parenting is that we end up working really hard to keep our kids content and happy, and in the end they do miss out on opportunities to learn to overcome disappointment and hardship. One can't really blame parents for trying, though. One day OP, when you have kids of your own, you can come back and give us your own 2 cents about the whole thing.
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