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Old 08-09-2014, 02:21 AM
 
Location: Texas
598 posts, read 475,608 times
Reputation: 1815

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Quote:
Originally Posted by stan4 View Post
Go to bed earlier.

Lots of people wake up at 6 on their own. For work, etc.

Yes, she could. But I bet after the kid goes to bed at 8:00, she has to tidy up the house, prep things for tomorrow (food), do the dishes, etc. And then afterwards, I bet she want some down time or alone time to chill out or do things that she might enjoy.


Anyway, OP, you have to teach your child to self entertain like the others have said for an hour so that you can have extra rest. When my DS was 4, before my husband went to work, he would put a sippy cup of milk and an ipad right next to DS bed and when DS woke up, he would drink his milk and play on the ipad quietly until I woke up.
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Old 08-09-2014, 04:06 AM
 
4 posts, read 3,489 times
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I remember going to bed together with the kids light and clear summer evenings at 7pm and thinking: "This is really crazy...." - but since they woke up 5:30-6:30 am, as a non-morning person I had to adjust. By the way, they keep being early risers still, at 10, - just seeing the glimpses of sleeping in as my dd enters puberty at 11.
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Old 08-09-2014, 06:11 AM
 
Location: Texas
42,220 posts, read 49,768,169 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Jayerdu View Post
Yes, she could. But I bet after the kid goes to bed at 8:00, she has to tidy up the house, prep things for tomorrow (food), do the dishes, etc. And then afterwards, I bet she want some down time or alone time to chill out or do things that she might enjoy.


Anyway, OP, you have to teach your child to self entertain like the others have said for an hour so that you can have extra rest. When my DS was 4, before my husband went to work, he would put a sippy cup of milk and an ipad right next to DS bed and when DS woke up, he would drink his milk and play on the ipad quietly until I woke up.
My wife does all that, plus 4 dogs.
For the last 9 months, no coffee bc she has been pregnant.
I of course help. Now that the newborn is here, I have picked up more of our 2.5 year-old.
My son gets up (and always has) between 5 and 7am.
Her bedtime has been 9-10pm for almost 3 years.
My son has been helping with chores since before he was 2.

When I have days I work, she makes sure I get plenty of sleep. If my 2.5 year old can fetch laundry, feed the dogs, etc, so can her 4 year old.

It's called division of labor. I don't ask her to do my work, switch around schedules (in the same week, I could do 2 nights, 2 swings, and a day), or worry about any of the things I take care of around the house.

I do like your idea, though. 4 years old is old enough to entertain themselves for a while.
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Old 08-09-2014, 08:25 AM
 
Location: North Carolina
3,430 posts, read 5,760,071 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Jayerdu View Post
Yes, she could. But I bet after the kid goes to bed at 8:00, she has to tidy up the house, prep things for tomorrow (food), do the dishes, etc. And then afterwards, I bet she want some down time or alone time to chill out or do things that she might enjoy.


Anyway, OP, you have to teach your child to self entertain like the others have said for an hour so that you can have extra rest. When my DS was 4, before my husband went to work, he would put a sippy cup of milk and an ipad right next to DS bed and when DS woke up, he would drink his milk and play on the ipad quietly until I woke up.

Yes exactly. I usually spend about 2 hours after she goes to bed trying to clean up the days mess, get things in order, finish the laundry, take care of dogs and so on. I'm also in school full time, along with her father so I have to find time to study.
Not that I don't clean through the day but with my husband sleep in the room I can't get the clothes put away, bathroom cleaned and what have you. Plus I'm running the errands during the day that need to get done for the hubby while he sleeps.. People who don't have spouses on night shift don't realize how separate your lives are. I see my husband maybe 2 hours a day all week except for his one day off. So in a way its like we are both single parents living in the same home.

My daughter was also preemie so she does have some issues and wakes up during the nights with those issues. On average I wake up about 2-3 times a night with her. Its just so hard when your sleep is broken by 2 hours here an hour there past infancy. Its one thing to do it for a year when they're infants, but I'm going on 4 years.

I did do it with a full time job working 14+ hours all day, then come home to my husband already gone from work. We would see each other 4 days a month with no time other than his days off together, we did that for over a year. My daughter would be in daycare or at my in-laws then I would get her. So I'm speaking from a standpoint of not only a full time working mother, but a sahm also. Since my husband is in law enforcement he works every holiday (at least he has for the past 10 years) and I was working every one too so she was always alone on them. It wasn't right so I quit to be with her.


My sisters daughter is 2 almost 3 and she sleeps in till almost 9 so it just seemed odd to me that my 4 year old isn't. I guess her daughter is the odd one out. I will try doing the snacks on the table and setting up legos or something, seeing of I can get her to entertain herself even for 30 mins. Maybe it will help. Thanks

Also dad helps when he can, he's only home a few hour a day so its hard to cram in family time, cleaning and his studying etc in 2 - 21/2 hours.
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Old 08-09-2014, 08:30 AM
 
Location: Warren County and loving it!
5,079 posts, read 7,246,669 times
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I'll chime in too. Very normal time for kids to wake.

I can remember being around 3 myself and getting up and playing quietly until my mother woke up on weekends.

Funny story though and I remember it like yesterday. I woke one morning and was SO hungry. I got out the new loaf of bread, the mustard, and all the cold cuts in the house. I put down a slice of bread, smeared the mustard on, piled a couple pieces of lunch meat and cheese and repeated. Over and over. I had the world's tallest sandwich when my mother got up. She was not very happy about it.

But I was hungry!!!!

My point is to be prepared to be surprised at what you wake to find her doing if you have her entertain herself prior to your getting up. Not necessarily bad things and as long as dangerous stuff is safely put up, she should be fine.
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Old 08-09-2014, 08:30 AM
 
Location: 60630
11,634 posts, read 17,044,904 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kharing View Post
I just rep'd you on this! My feeling is why does he get to sleep undisturbed....fine he works 6 nights a week, but if the OP doesn't get help or go to bed when her child does, she will suffer from exhaustion.
Well, I feel the same sometimes but then I realize too that my husband brings in all the cash right now. He is also working in a safety sensitive position at work. I could not ask him and feel good about it, to stay up another several hours after a 10 hour night shift and babysit so I can sleep in.
But then again, my oldest is 8 so he is not the problem but I have a 7 month old still.
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Old 08-09-2014, 08:45 AM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
39,055 posts, read 37,695,377 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sweetbottoms View Post

My daughter was also preemie so she does have some issues and wakes up during the nights with those issues. On average I wake up about 2-3 times a night with her. Its just so hard when your sleep is broken by 2 hours here an hour there past infancy. Its one thing to do it for a year when they're infants, but I'm going on 4 years.
You definitely have a LOT on your plate, and it is very hard to do by yourself.

The one thing I would suggest is your daughter waking through the night. What "issues" is she waking up with? Unless it is a medical problem, that should not still be happening and may be a learned behavior at this point. Even though premature babies can have adjustment issues, she should not still be dealing with it at age 4.
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Old 08-09-2014, 10:57 AM
 
Location: Wisconsin
16,483 posts, read 15,923,785 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Severs View Post
I find the two who state that the father should give up his sleep to give the mother a break almost amusing... if the whole thing wasn't so moronic. Night shift is a hard shift to work to begin with, without being unable to sleep enough to work said hours. Perhaps you should try it sometime, especially 6 days a week. Not nearly as easy as it sounds, especially being most night shift jobs are some sort of factory job. To the OP, either learn to really love coffee, or go to bed earlier until your little one can be up for a little while on their own.
I was one of the posters who suggested that the husband helped out by spending time with his daughter while his wife took a nap. I certainly did not intend that he must do it every day or "give up his sleep" but wouldn't a loving father want to spend some time alone with his child? And wouldn't a loving husband want to give up some of his free time when he was awake to help his spouse?

My husband worked third shift for ten years, and most weeks he also worked six days. Although, the situation was different, as I was also working full time at a demanding job and our children were older at that time my hubby was extremely involved with our children's lives and with the household responsibilities. In fact, for a variety of reasons (mainly because he enjoyed those activities and found them "relaxing" and I did not) he did all of the grocery shopping, all of the laundry, all of the ironing and over half of the cooking, cleaning & errands. And he still had time to read, relax, watch TV, go to church each week and occasionally spend time with his friends and extended family. My husband certainly was not a superman but always was able to get his needed sleep as well as do all of those other things. Of course, the OPs situation may be totally different but just because she is a SAHM does not (in my opinion) put 100% of the child rearing and household responsibilities on her shoulders.

Even if hubby did only one errand a week, such as the weekly grocery shopping and took his daughter along, it would help in several ways. Dad would spend time with his daughter, DD would spend time with Dad, Mom would have one less task to do & Mom could rest or do a different task while they were gone. So, it would be win - win - win.

Or, part of one evening a week Dad and daughter could have a game night or play time together for a few hours and Mom could have some time to herself.

So, if DD played by herself longer in the AM, Mom went to sleep a little earlier and Dad helped out a little more around the house and spent some play time with DD, Mom would not be as exhausted. Win-win-win
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Old 08-09-2014, 02:31 PM
 
Location: here
24,469 posts, read 28,737,691 times
Reputation: 31039
Blah blah blah. Every mom has stuff to do after the kids go to bed. Every mom is tired. 6:30 is not early. If the op was complaining about a 5 am wake up I might sympathize
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Old 08-09-2014, 03:49 PM
 
1,453 posts, read 1,775,566 times
Reputation: 2012
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kibbiekat View Post
Blah blah blah. Every mom has stuff to do after the kids go to bed. Every mom is tired. 6:30 is not early. If the op was complaining about a 5 am wake up I might sympathize
Agreed. All moms are exhausted. It is what we signed up for. Before you know it, your kids will be adults and you will miss their early years.
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