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Old 08-09-2014, 04:03 PM
 
Location: Texas
596 posts, read 474,978 times
Reputation: 1810

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Quote:
Originally Posted by stan4 View Post
My wife does all that, plus 4 dogs.
For the last 9 months, no coffee bc she has been pregnant.
I of course help. Now that the newborn is here, I have picked up more of our 2.5 year-old.
My son gets up (and always has) between 5 and 7am.
Her bedtime has been 9-10pm for almost 3 years.
My son has been helping with chores since before he was 2.

When I have days I work, she makes sure I get plenty of sleep. If my 2.5 year old can fetch laundry, feed the dogs, etc, so can her 4 year old.

It's called division of labor. I don't ask her to do my work, switch around schedules (in the same week, I could do 2 nights, 2 swings, and a day), or worry about any of the things I take care of around the house.

I do like your idea, though. 4 years old is old enough to entertain themselves for a while.

I get what you are saying, but you actually seem like a parent/partner which I am sure the wife appreciates and helps the house run smoothly. It's just harder when one person (like the OP) is doing the most for whatever reason.
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Old 08-09-2014, 04:11 PM
 
Location: Texas
596 posts, read 474,978 times
Reputation: 1810
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kibbiekat View Post
Blah blah blah. Every mom has stuff to do after the kids go to bed. Every mom is tired. 6:30 is not early. If the op was complaining about a 5 am wake up I might sympathize
She didn't want your sympathy - she wanted some tips. Someone suggested go to bed earlier. I was merely pointing out that after the kid goes to sleep, Mom probably has other stuff to do that prevents her from sleeping early.

People have different strengths that affect how a household is run or how comfortable one is being a Mom. Just because all Moms do this or that, it doesn't mean that it is not especially difficult for OP for various reasons. Also, sone children are more difficult than others.
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Old 08-09-2014, 04:21 PM
 
Location: North Carolina
3,429 posts, read 5,755,743 times
Reputation: 5229
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kibbiekat View Post
Blah blah blah. Every mom has stuff to do after the kids go to bed. Every mom is tired. 6:30 is not early. If the op was complaining about a 5 am wake up I might sympathize
Sorry u feel that way. Guess I missed the part where I mentioned I have a heart problem, and my daughter has medical issues. Two years ago I was so run down I ended up in Mayo Clinic 7 hours from my house for almost two months straight. Guess I was just looking for suggestions on how to help my situation out.. Thanks for your suggestions though.
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Old 08-09-2014, 04:23 PM
 
Location: North Carolina
3,429 posts, read 5,755,743 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Jayerdu View Post
She didn't want your sympathy - she wanted some tips. Someone suggested go to bed earlier. I was merely pointing out that after the kid goes to sleep, Mom probably has other stuff to do that prevents her from sleeping early.

People have different strengths that affect how a household is run or how comfortable one is being a Mom. Just because all Moms do this or that, it doesn't mean that it is not especially difficult for OP for various reasons. Also, sone children are more difficult than others.
Yes thank you exactly. I think they also missed where I mentioned in in school full time ( so is my husband) so after bed and cleaning I also have to study. Some people just have better time management I guess and I was looking for suggestions. I didn't realized I would just be bashed
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Old 08-09-2014, 05:17 PM
 
Location: Vermont
5,439 posts, read 14,324,626 times
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Can you go to bed shortly after the kids go to bed? No reason you can't get 8 hours . My son is asleep at 9 or 9:30 and up at 6 or 6:30 everyday.

EDIT... missed about you being in school . That is rough then.
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Old 08-09-2014, 05:53 PM
 
1,025 posts, read 963,234 times
Reputation: 1775
Give your child a clock and teach her that she needs to have quiet time until the clock reads a certain time. Leave a basket of books, puzzles, coloring, and other quiet activities by her bed each night for her to find in the morning. Rotate the items so it is always a surprise and add something new from time to time to keep her interest.

Since your health is being seriously affected, can you afford to get some part time help with the housework? If not, let it go a little or try to do more in those early morning hours and less at night. A well-rested and healthy mom is so much more important than a spotless house!

And remember, this will pass. Before you know it she will be a teenager and you have to drag her out of bed in the morning.
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Old 08-09-2014, 06:24 PM
 
Location: Sudcaroland
10,664 posts, read 7,703,785 times
Reputation: 31964
OP, is there no way you could postpone school until she is older? One can only do so much, and I understand how tough it is for you, especially with your hubby working nights and your heart condition.
I'm a tired mom too, my daughter is 3 1/2 and battling cancer, lots of hospital stays etc... I wouldn't be able to squeeze more than I already do, and I do the minimum!
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Old 08-09-2014, 06:52 PM
 
Location: here
24,469 posts, read 28,723,874 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sweetbottoms View Post
Sorry u feel that way. Guess I missed the part where I mentioned I have a heart problem, and my daughter has medical issues. Two years ago I was so run down I ended up in Mayo Clinic 7 hours from my house for almost two months straight. Guess I was just looking for suggestions on how to help my situation out.. Thanks for your suggestions though.
I did miss that part. My advice is the same. Go to bed earlier. Let her get up and entertain herself. At about 4, we left the TV on a kids channel every night. In the morning all my son had to do was push 1 button to turn the TV on. And your daughter isn't trying to kill you. She's doing what 4 year olds do. If anyone needsvto change what's not working it is you and your husband.
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Old 08-09-2014, 06:58 PM
 
Location: here
24,469 posts, read 28,723,874 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sweetbottoms View Post
Yes exactly. I usually spend about 2 hours after she goes to bed trying to clean up the days mess, get things in order, finish the laundry, take care of dogs and so on. I'm also in school full time, along with her father so I have to find time to study.
Not that I don't clean through the day but with my husband sleep in the room I can't get the clothes put away, bathroom cleaned and what have you. Plus I'm running the errands during the day that need to get done for the hubby while he sleeps.. People who don't have spouses on night shift don't realize how separate your lives are. I see my husband maybe 2 hours a day all week except for his one day off. So in a way its like we are both single parents living in the same home.

My daughter was also preemie so she does have some issues and wakes up during the nights with those issues. On average I wake up about 2-3 times a night with her. Its just so hard when your sleep is broken by 2 hours here an hour there past infancy. Its one thing to do it for a year when they're infants, but I'm going on 4 years.

I did do it with a full time job working 14+ hours all day, then come home to my husband already gone from work. We would see each other 4 days a month with no time other than his days off together, we did that for over a year. My daughter would be in daycare or at my in-laws then I would get her. So I'm speaking from a standpoint of not only a full time working mother, but a sahm also. Since my husband is in law enforcement he works every holiday (at least he has for the past 10 years) and I was working every one too so she was always alone on them. It wasn't right so I quit to be with her.


My sisters daughter is 2 almost 3 and she sleeps in till almost 9 so it just seemed odd to me that my 4 year old isn't. I guess her daughter is the odd one out. I will try doing the snacks on the table and setting up legos or something, seeing of I can get her to entertain herself even for 30 mins. Maybe it will help. Thanks

Also dad helps when he can, he's only home a few hour a day so its hard to cram in family time, cleaning and his studying etc in 2 - 21/2 hours.
You do have a lot on your plate. But I think the 9:00 wake up is the odd one. Your daughters wake up time isn't going to change and isn't the problem. The rest of your hectic life is the problem.
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Old 08-09-2014, 07:02 PM
 
Location: here
24,469 posts, read 28,723,874 times
Reputation: 31039
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sweetbottoms View Post
Yes thank you exactly. I think they also missed where I mentioned in in school full time ( so is my husband) so after bed and cleaning I also have to study. Some people just have better time management I guess and I was looking for suggestions. I didn't realized I would just be bashed
If you had mentioned all of that in your op your responses would have been different.
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