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Old 08-09-2014, 05:42 PM
 
8 posts, read 7,973 times
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My son who turned 18 on July 26 says he is going to take me to court because I took his computer because he didn't come home at all one night.
When he took his computer to a friends house. He deleted all the files and reinstall the programs to get around our password.
How would you handle this?
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Old 08-09-2014, 05:51 PM
 
Location: The #1 sunshine state, Arizona.
12,172 posts, read 15,009,413 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by foreverasnow View Post
My son who turned 18 on July 26 says he is going to take me to court because I took his computer because he didn't come home at all one night.
When he took his computer to a friends house. He deleted all the files and reinstall the programs to get around our password.
How would you handle this?
Sounds like he has no respect for your rules. Does he go to school, does he have a job, does he pay rent? He has already found a work around for your first punishment. Only advice I can give you is, don't make any threats unless you can follow through.
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Old 08-09-2014, 05:57 PM
 
8 posts, read 7,973 times
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He just recently got a job and he will start college on the 20 of August.
He doesn't pay rent.
He doesn't even have his license so his Dad takes him to work.
He has ODD which means he doesn't like rules.
However, in the real world everyone has rules.
I told him to call the police and take me to court. However, I am not giving the items back until I want to give them back.
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Old 08-09-2014, 06:03 PM
 
Location: MMU->ABE->ATL->ASH
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He on Med's for his ODD?

Is he taking them?
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Old 08-09-2014, 06:08 PM
 
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No med's.
Never have taken any for ODD.

He says he wants a normal house.
I asked him what is a normal house?
He said, "A house without rules."
I said, "That will not be this house!"
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Old 08-09-2014, 06:10 PM
 
5,413 posts, read 4,818,147 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by foreverasnow View Post
My son who turned 18 on July 26 says he is going to take me to court because I took his computer because he didn't come home at all one night.
When he took his computer to a friends house. He deleted all the files and reinstall the programs to get around our password.
How would you handle this?
Honestly....at 18 if you are still taking things away and using passwords....it's too late.

Did you buy him the computer and give it as a gift? Did he buy it himself? When was the last time you guys had a honest talk about rules and expectations....and setting reasonable rules for both sides. Because honestly.....at 18 they should be able to have much more freedom than they did at 16.

I don't think you have to worry about court....he'd be laughed at by the way.
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Old 08-09-2014, 06:19 PM
 
8 posts, read 7,973 times
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We was going to lift the passwords.
However, he did it before we could.
He has been in trouble at school over computers and has been on sites that he shouldn't be on.
I have always told him if I can trust you with little things I will trust you with big things.
However, I also said if I can't trust you with little things I can't trust you with big things.

I think I was just a little bit upset with him telling me he wanted his stuff tonight and he was going to call the police.
I said go right ahead.
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Old 08-09-2014, 06:33 PM
 
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I think you're handling it just fine. Unfortunately, this is how many 18 year olds act. Most colleges have computers and printers available for students to use so he'll be fine without a computer for a while.
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Old 08-09-2014, 06:37 PM
 
8 posts, read 7,973 times
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I know it is how most 18 years old act.
I have a 26 and a 24.
When my oldest son turned 18 he got stupid.
So I kicked him out. I packed his things and had them waiting on him when he decided to come back home.
He stayed away for three days and came back home and said I will follow your rules.
That son finish college and went into the Army reserves and is a MP.
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Old 08-09-2014, 06:50 PM
 
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Many, many, many teenagers, especially boys, have the fantasy that being an adult means not having to follow any rules.

And he's not going to believe it when you tell him otherwise. He will need some life experience on his own -- renting an apartment and not getting his deposit back because he didn't clean the place, having a gf dump him because he was unkind, etc.

How many times per week does he see a therapist for his ODD? Does he enjoy the therapy? Has he made a lot of progress?
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