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Old 08-10-2014, 01:22 PM
 
Location: southwestern PA
20,426 posts, read 35,777,368 times
Reputation: 38836

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mattie View Post
Not self-righteous, just fact. We had no reason to lock up anything in our house, not prescriptions, not alcohol, not car keys. I don't know anybody who took those steps, so yes, I think I'm in the majority.

If a parent has cause, then it's a smart move. However, just having teens is not enough reason to assume they are going to steal drugs, alcohol or cars.

This was our experience also.
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Old 08-10-2014, 01:32 PM
 
9,465 posts, read 15,045,414 times
Reputation: 15440
I didn't say locking up the drugs would solve any and all problems I'm having with my DS.I said it would put a stop to at least one.

Thanks for all the "help" from all the perfect parents out there. for your information, it has been a long, mostly losing battle with DS. I have read all the books out there, been to counseling for years, he's been in RTC, been in juvenile detention many times for assaulting me---when we lived in another county. Now that we've moved, this county is more concerned about their crime stats and, essentially, does nothing.


I was pointing out ONE thing parents, even those who are "perfect" need to consider. Abuse of prescription pain killers is a national epidemic, to the point doctors are reluctant to prescribe them for legitimate reasons. It really could happen in your house, too, don't be so sure of yourselves.


Just WTH do you suggest I do? I've tried everything. He smokes marijuana in his room, I've found it, pipes, bongs, etc, I've called police, they say its not illegal to posess it, just illegal to sell it, or have intention to sell it. Many times DS has "gone off" gotten out of hand, we've called police, he was taken to ER, blood tests came back positive for marijuana---thc. Not a thing was done, I had to ask, they acted like no big deal, didn't even bother to inform me, I had to ask about his blood tests, they weren't proactive in informing me. He was sent to a psychiatric hospital, they didn't even acknowledge the issue.


Look, I'm not asking for "help" here in how to become one of your "club" the perfect parent club. I'm simply giving advice that could be of use for some of you. I know, how could such an "imperfect" being advise those who are so wonderful? Sorry, I don't live in your world, but then, you don't live in mine.
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Old 08-10-2014, 01:33 PM
 
43,012 posts, read 89,076,504 times
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I'll admit it. My mother locked up a hairbrush. With four teenage daughters, she could never find one otherwise.
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Old 08-10-2014, 01:42 PM
 
12,931 posts, read 19,824,518 times
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Marylee, there is no such thing as a perfect parent. We all just do the best we can with the hand we're dealt. I know you've been to hell and back with your kids, and I'm sympathetic.

My stance was based on the idea that teens cannot be trusted, and subsequent posts that alcohol and car keys, in addition to prescriptions, should be locked up. I never had a reason not to trust my three, and I realize I am fortunate that way. But, I don't think I'm in the minority. I do believe most teens are good people.
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Old 08-10-2014, 01:58 PM
 
43,012 posts, read 89,076,504 times
Reputation: 30261
I'd never want to walk in Marylee's shoes. It's disgusting how many people attack her. She really has done everything she could. She describes the type of child that people have driven across country to drop off at hospitals in states that forgot to put age limits on baby drop-offs. He is so far gone that "getting to the root of the problem" is useless advice. Right now, Marylee is just trying to physically survive living with a violent person. I don't blame her one bit for counting the days until she can kick him out, and I'm one of those people who usually oppose parents kicking children out.
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Old 08-10-2014, 02:31 PM
 
6,952 posts, read 8,893,130 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mattie View Post
And you would be correct. Most families don't have to lock up prescription drugs to keep them out of the hands of their kids. I do agree with Scarlett that the person the drugs were meant for should be aware of the amount, and keep tabs, just to be safe.

I probably would advise keeping them close if one of my kids was diagnosed with depression, or anything that made me concerned for their mental health.
But your kids have friends, and they rifle the medicine cabinets too. And believe it or not, you may not know your own friends as well as you think you do. ANYONE can have a drug problem without looking like it, or want to rip off some of your "extra" medications to sell for some emergency cash.
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Old 08-10-2014, 03:03 PM
 
Location: southwestern PA
20,426 posts, read 35,777,368 times
Reputation: 38836
Quote:
Originally Posted by MaryleeII View Post
Thanks for all the "help" from all the perfect parents out there. for your information, it has been a long, mostly losing battle with DS. I have read all the books out there, been to counseling for years, he's been in RTC, been in juvenile detention many times for assaulting me---when we lived in another county. Now that we've moved, this county is more concerned about their crime stats and, essentially, does nothing.


I was pointing out ONE thing parents, even those who are "perfect" need to consider. Abuse of prescription pain killers is a national epidemic, to the point doctors are reluctant to prescribe them for legitimate reasons. It really could happen in your house, too, don't be so sure of yourselves.

You seriously need to get over the delusion that there are perfect parents.
We all do the best we can, and when we know better, we do better.

You complain about your issues, and paint all kids with the same brush. There ARE lots of good kids out there, and they should not be treated the same way you need to treat your kids.
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Old 08-10-2014, 03:03 PM
 
421 posts, read 449,354 times
Reputation: 390
I take xanax for anxiety and keep them in my purse. Started after a bunch went missing when my niece was living with me.

I'm sorry you had to hear that from your child. That must have felt awful
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Old 08-10-2014, 03:08 PM
 
15,307 posts, read 16,867,859 times
Reputation: 15029
Quote:
Originally Posted by Hopes View Post
I'd never want to walk in Marylee's shoes. It's disgusting how many people attack her. She really has done everything she could. She describes the type of child that people have driven across country to drop off at hospitals in states that forgot to put age limits on baby drop-offs. He is so far gone that "getting to the root of the problem" is useless advice. Right now, Marylee is just trying to physically survive living with a violent person. I don't blame her one bit for counting the days until she can kick him out, and I'm one of those people who usually oppose parents kicking children out.
If you read her many posts about her family and her children, she has never taken any advice given on what to do. While I agree that her current situation is very difficult, she never once posted anything positive about these kids. This has been going on since her kids were 12 and 13 maybe even earlier. It's not something that can be remedied at 17 and 18.

From recent postings, it is possible that her daughter has turned around, but it is hard to tell whether that is true or not.
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Old 08-10-2014, 03:33 PM
 
Location: My House
33,123 posts, read 26,931,353 times
Reputation: 24466
While I agree that locking up drugs is a good idea with an addict in the house, I think it's generally unnecessary and in households with kids who don't steal it could foster feelings of confusion.

Mine would wonder why I suddenly became paranoid if I locked up all the prescription meds and put a lock on the liquor cabinet. Or the wine cooler.

They just don't take things that are not theirs.

I attribute this to a combination of effective parenting and good genetic fortune. Truly.

My brother was a complete terror as a teen. All mine have been lovely so far. At 24, 16 (will be 17 this month) and 13, none have ever stolen from me. My 24yo doesn't even drink that often.
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