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Old 08-11-2014, 01:43 PM
 
35,121 posts, read 38,048,238 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Rose_Pedal989 View Post
At my age, dating can be a lot of work. Do you honestly believe that it is easy for a woman in my situation to meet Mr. Right? I assure you that it's not easy, otherwise, I'd already be married with children.

I want to have my own child (while I'm still able to do so). The clock is ticking and I'm not getting any younger. If I were 30, I'd consider spending more time searching for a husband, but I'm not 30 and I don't have ample time at this point.

You do realize the genetic issues you are concerned with are going to be more prevalent from you at your age than him right?
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Old 08-11-2014, 01:46 PM
 
Location: IL
2,992 posts, read 4,273,091 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Rose_Pedal989 View Post
At my age, dating can be a lot of work. Do you honestly believe that it is easy for a woman in my situation to meet Mr. Right? I assure you that it's not easy, otherwise, I'd already be married with children.

I want to have my own child (while I'm still able to do so). The clock is ticking and I'm not getting any younger. If I were 30, I'd consider spending more time searching for a husband, but I'm not 30 and I don't have ample time at this point.
Don't make a video, that would be horrible. It needs to be done in person, but you might want to ask if he wants to have dinner, a coffee, or something first. That's where I would start. It doesn't have to be a "date", but just two people getting together. I probably wouldn't ask on that get together either.

No matter how you ask, it is going to be weird and he may avoid you forever after you ask.
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Old 08-11-2014, 01:50 PM
 
1,640 posts, read 3,192,606 times
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I wouldn't ask. Talk about awkward! And he might decide he wants to parent after all. It could be a legal nightmare for you.

Sperm donation is the way to go. If you're concerned about "quality", do some research. I am sure like most things, there are "good" places to go, and lousy places to go. Do your research.

I know several people with sperm donor babies, and the babies were healthy and turned out just fine.
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Old 08-11-2014, 01:51 PM
 
421 posts, read 450,887 times
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Didn't read all but wanted to throw it out there. There is a huge need for parents to adopt black baby boys. Just an idea.
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Old 08-11-2014, 01:54 PM
 
18 posts, read 11,790 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sabinerose View Post
This^^^^

All of the physical ideals you see in this magical man could be chosen from amongst the sperm donors at a reputable sperm bank. Extensive histories are available, as well as genetic testing. The only other thing you seem to be stuck on is this man's personality and charisma...none of those attributes come from genetics.

It sounds to me that you have a crush on this man. You have said that he is the perfect man, but you won't ask him out because you feel you aren't good enough for him. What better way to hold on to someone you may think you love (cloaked as respect), then to have his baby. I would hope the therapist steered you away from this idea...it boggles the mind to think a mental professional would encourage you to pursue this man for his sperm.
Admittedly, some people are just out of other people's leagues. There is nothing wrong with admitting the truth. Although I am usually described as "cute" (on my good days), I seriously doubt that he is romantically interested, otherwise we'd obviously already be together.

I am very practical. My therapist knows that I have no desire to trap this man into being a father or my love interest for that matter. I simply greatly respect and admire him. He embodies perfection on so many levels, (if there's even such a thing).

I have already mentioned that sperm banks are unpredictable. Surely, one can read about a great guy or examine whatever image the sperm bank provides, but there's nothing like experiencing it in the flesh. Since I've come across such a good catch, I thought it would be best to try my luck and see if he would even entertain the idea. I doubt that he will, but I want to try.

Last edited by Rose_Pedal989; 08-11-2014 at 02:09 PM..
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Old 08-11-2014, 02:01 PM
 
18 posts, read 11,790 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by almost3am View Post
Don't make a video, that would be horrible. It needs to be done in person, but you might want to ask if he wants to have dinner, a coffee, or something first. That's where I would start. It doesn't have to be a "date", but just two people getting together. I probably wouldn't ask on that get together either.

No matter how you ask, it is going to be weird and he may avoid you forever after you ask.
Thanks for the advice. I've considered inviting him over for dinner, and having the conversation, but I'm afraid that I may not be able to express myself in the right way.

Maybe it would be best to invite him over and ask him to watch the video.
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Old 08-11-2014, 02:01 PM
 
Location: Ohio
5,627 posts, read 4,677,967 times
Reputation: 6732
so whats your plan if he says no?
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Old 08-11-2014, 02:07 PM
 
18 posts, read 11,790 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CSD610 View Post
You do realize the genetic issues you are concerned with are going to be more prevalent from you at your age than him right?
Yes, I do realize this.
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Old 08-11-2014, 02:16 PM
 
10,608 posts, read 13,456,585 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Rose_Pedal989 View Post
At my age, dating can be a lot of work. .
HAHAHAH you think dating is more work than KIDS?

I would say that being a parent is not about recreating your biological mini me but understanding that once you have a kid your life is COMPLETELY OVER. And I mean COMPLETELY. It is never YOURS AGAIN.

If dating is so much work as a single woman, how do you think it's gonna work out dating with a kid or two?

It's also funny you don't want to raise somebody else's kid but think this stranger is gonna be ok with someone else raising HIS kid.

Ask yourself WHY a perfectly NORMAL balanced man would even CONSIDER this set up.

It's a very bad idea and to me, shows a very idealized view of motherhood. It's all fun and games until reality kicks in.

Then there's THIS:

Quote:
I am very practical. My therapist knows that I have no desire to trap this man into being a father or my love interest for that matter. I simply greatly respect and admire him. He embodies perfection on so many levels, (if there's even such a thing).
Gurl NOBODY embodies PERFECTION and your kids won't either.
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Old 08-11-2014, 02:17 PM
 
18 posts, read 11,790 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ohky0815 View Post
so whats your plan if he says no?
I would be forced to accept his decision, but honestly I would be devastated. I've spent so much time thinking about the prospects. It would take some time to come to grips with everything, but I'd have to go back to the drawing board and consider other options.
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