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Old 08-11-2014, 12:20 PM
 
Location: St.Paul,MN
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I'm 24, I've been with my girlfriend for 8 years, and we have a son who's 3. Obviously it's an odd family dynamic of having a kid young and not getting married even after we have the kid. Being younger we have some different set ups. My girlfriend's sister is 17 and she's the primary babysitter because a lot of nights we both work late. We allow her to pretty much do whatever with him( give him cookies for dinner, stay up late, etc). For my sister-in-law, we have an open door policy in our apt. when it comes to her friends. We only have 2 rules, if it's after 8, keep your voice down, and no swearing or dirty talk in front of him( never been a problem). We've had date nights where we come home at midnight and she has 5 friends over and he's sitting in the lap of one of her friends, happy as a clam. One practice that concerns my parents are the nights when my girlfriend works late, he gets very concerned about her and one night I took him to go see Mommy at work. We've done that a few times since. We're not big into timeouts or spankings. Whenever he acts up, we just sit down with him and talk, usually we get to the heart of why he was acting up.

 
Old 08-11-2014, 12:28 PM
 
Location: Bloomington IN
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Time will tell, but I would be worried about a couple of things personally. I would be concerned about his present and future eating habits if cookies are a frequent dinner. I would also be concerned about the apparent lack of routine and late hours he seems to keep. This will not work once he is school age. Kids need sleep.
 
Old 08-11-2014, 12:38 PM
 
Location: St.Paul,MN
10 posts, read 9,207 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by rrah View Post
Time will tell, but I would be worried about a couple of things personally. I would be concerned about his present and future eating habits if cookies are a frequent dinner. I would also be concerned about the apparent lack of routine and late hours he seems to keep. This will not work once he is school age. Kids need sleep.
you raise very good points, luckily, cookies aren't a frequent meal, then again, it's not rare and I hadn't even thought about school coming up for him, thanks for mentioning it,
 
Old 08-11-2014, 12:46 PM
 
1,640 posts, read 3,183,001 times
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Sounds fine to me. I know a lot of people who keep young kids up really late because they like to sleep in (the parents do lol). The one thing I'd try out is preschool for your son. He is 3 and probably needs some social interaction. Even just a few mornings a week, if paying for day care isn't an option.

I was a young mom, too (had 3 kids by 26) and the kids are doing just fine. Young parents may get a bad rap, but I was a great mom to mine. Good parenting has nothing to do with age.
 
Old 08-11-2014, 12:46 PM
 
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Good luck when he starts school and has to face the real world :-)

Sorry, none of us are perfect but he doesn't act up cause nothing is required of him and he gets what he wants. You're setting him up for a huge fall when people do start saying no and things are required.

And the 17 year old having friends over? Seriously? I had teens and young kids at the same time. Never ever did I leave my little kids with a brood of teens.
 
Old 08-11-2014, 12:56 PM
 
Location: Wisconsin
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Quote:
Originally Posted by eyeye View Post
Good luck when he starts school and has to face the real world :-)

Sorry, none of us are perfect but he doesn't act up cause nothing is required of him and he gets what he wants. You're setting him up for a huge fall when people do start saying no and things are required.
As an former teacher, I can tell you that most (not all, but most) children who start kindergarten who have never had rules or a schedule or never been told "No" have very serious problems adjusting. Occasionally, it will even take years before the child is successful.

Quote:
Originally Posted by eyeye View Post

And the 17 year old having friends over? Seriously? I had teens and young kids at the same time. Never ever did I leave my little kids with a brood of teens.
Your girl friend's sister may be different, but IMHO most teenagers who have friends over while they are babysitting concentrate on having fun with their friends and totally ignore the child who they are responsible to be caring for. Frankly, I would not have been pleased to find my three year old awake at midnight when I returned home.

PS. I noticed that there is not a "no drinking, no drug use, no sex and no smoking" rule at your house when the 17 year old, and her friends, babysit for you. Frankly, those things can be far worse than hearing an occasional swear word.
 
Old 08-11-2014, 01:02 PM
 
Location: St.Paul,MN
10 posts, read 9,207 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by germaine2626 View Post
As an former teacher, I can tell you that most (not all, but most) children who start kindergarten who have never had rules or a schedule or never been told "No" have very serious problems adjusting. Occasionally, it will even take years before the child is successful.



Your girl friend's sister may be different, but IMHO most teenagers who have friends over while they are babysitting concentrate on having fun with their friends and totally ignore the child who they are responsible to be caring for. Frankly, I would not have been pleased to find my three year old awake at midnight when I returned home.

PS. I noticed that there is not a "no drinking, no drug use, no sex and no smoking" rule at your house when the 17 year old, and her friends, babysit for you.
I thought it was pretty much assumed that smoking, sex, and booze were a no go, especially when cussing isn't even allowed. We thought about that too, the " what if they forget him when she's babysitting" thing. They love him and he's not one to be ignored.
 
Old 08-11-2014, 01:07 PM
 
Location: Wisconsin
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Quote:
Originally Posted by trj90 View Post
I thought it was pretty much assumed that smoking, sex, and booze were a no go, especially when cussing isn't even allowed. We thought about that too, the " what if they forget him when she's babysitting" thing. They love him and he's not one to be ignored.
You can not "assume" that babysitters, even relatives, know the rules of your home. Especially, when there are strangers to you (various friends of your GF's sister) coming into your home.
 
Old 08-11-2014, 01:14 PM
 
Location: St.Paul,MN
10 posts, read 9,207 times
Reputation: 10
as far as midnight. He wouldn't go to bed until we came home
 
Old 08-11-2014, 01:15 PM
 
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You're not describing much different from many young parents who rely on friends and siblings for childcare. Their houses are usually filled with lots of young people surrounding the child one of them is watching.

My main concerns are the lack of healthy meals and a set eating and sleeping schedule.
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