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Old 08-16-2014, 03:15 PM
 
43,012 posts, read 89,018,139 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by germaine2626 View Post
I know that it is bad of me but I laughed out loud!

It is something like the comeuppance of the second wife who had an affair with her current husband when he was married to his first wife and now he has an affair with a third woman while he is married to her.

Sometimes Karma really works.
Ironically, the second wife was the result of an affair while he was married to the first wife!

His demise is funny because he deserved it in soooooooo many ways!
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Old 08-16-2014, 03:19 PM
 
Location: Wisconsin
16,490 posts, read 15,940,606 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Hopes View Post
I've seen some sweet justice in this regard. Most recently, my girlfriend's ex hid all of his income and had the child support dropped from over 2k to $68/month. He owned a business he built during his first marriage, and his second wife helped him hide is income via putting all of his assets and his business in her name. She later divorced him and he had NOTHING. Not just not having a penny, he had no job since she stole the business from him. His first wife took great pleasure in this because he deserved it. Granted, she probably wouldn't have been happy if she was still getting 2k/month, but it was easy to enjoy his suffering since she was only losing $68/month.
Quote:
Originally Posted by germaine2626 View Post
I know that it is bad of me but I laughed out loud!

It is something like the comeuppance of the second wife who had an affair with her current husband when he was married to his first wife and now he has an affair with a third woman while he is married to her.

Sometimes Karma really works.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Hopes View Post
Ironically, the second wife was the result of an affair while he was married to the first wife!

His demise is funny because he deserved it in soooooooo many ways!
Now, I'm laughing even harder!
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Old 08-16-2014, 03:54 PM
 
519 posts, read 556,214 times
Reputation: 950
I despise the child support system. I understand why it exists and I agree with its importance, but I think the amount of money the system sometimes takes out is ridiculous. My brother lives in Texas, and he divorced his first wife after learning she was involved in an affair. Well, in Texas women have nearly all the power in divorce and custody cases, so despite that fact that she was unfaithful and he had a WAY better job, she got the kids and thousands of dollars out of his paychecks every month. He really, really wanted his sons and it broke his heart.

Well you know what she did with the money? Spent it on herself. She got a new house, a big SUV, new clothes, and eventually implants (which she says she paid for with her own money, pfft.) On top of the child support, he paid for all their medical and dental expenses, bought them clothes, school supplies, and took them on trips, but all out of his own pocket. His sons never had anything unless he paid for it. He was ALWAYS broke as a result. She never spent a dime of that monthly child support on the children, and used the kids as a way to get free money out of my brother. He took her to court to get the kids back but lost. Most guys never win in these cases, and there are "deadbeat moms" who only take the kids to get the money.
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Old 08-16-2014, 04:34 PM
 
Location: Wisconsin
16,490 posts, read 15,940,606 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Zepheyr View Post
I despise the child support system. I understand why it exists and I agree with its importance, but I think the amount of money the system sometimes takes out is ridiculous. My brother lives in Texas, and he divorced his first wife after learning she was involved in an affair. Well, in Texas women have nearly all the power in divorce and custody cases, so despite that fact that she was unfaithful and he had a WAY better job, she got the kids and thousands of dollars out of his paychecks every month. He really, really wanted his sons and it broke his heart.

Well you know what she did with the money? Spent it on herself. She got a new house, a big SUV, new clothes, and eventually implants (which she says she paid for with her own money, pfft.) On top of the child support, he paid for all their medical and dental expenses, bought them clothes, school supplies, and took them on trips, but all out of his own pocket. His sons never had anything unless he paid for it. He was ALWAYS broke as a result. She never spent a dime of that monthly child support on the children, and used the kids as a way to get free money out of my brother. He took her to court to get the kids back but lost. Most guys never win in these cases, and there are "deadbeat moms" who only take the kids to get the money.
I really don't want to get into an argument, and, perhaps your former SIL did not spend the child support money wisely, and perhaps your brother was "taken advantage of" but I have a few questions.

Did the children also live in the big house with her? (or did they sleep outside?) Did the children go to the good school district where the big house was located? (or did she make them walk to the lower quality school district of the former house?) Did the children ride in the big SUV with her? (or did they walk or ride their bikes everywhere that they needed to go?) . Then the children did benefit from those purchases.

BTW, in child support situations in some states, insurance, medical and dental bills are in addition to child support, not expenses that are to be paid for out of the regular child support. That may be the case in your brother's state.

If the mother "never spent a dime of child support on the children", Who paid for their food? (or didn't they eat?) Who paid for the electricity and the water bill in the house? (or didn't they take showers or use electric lights?) Who paid for the sheets and pillows that they slept on? Who paid for the furniture that they used in the house? Etc. Etc.

Sometimes, life is unfair. But, unless the children slept outside in a doghouse (without blankets or pillows), scavenged for food scraps out of garbage cans, walked every place they needed to go, never used a shower, or watched TV or benefited from the air conditioning or heat in the house your ex SIL did not just buy the big house & SUV for herself and did not "never spent a dime of the child support payments on the children".
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Old 08-16-2014, 06:08 PM
Status: "be kind." (set 26 days ago)
 
2,684 posts, read 3,886,841 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by germaine2626 View Post
I really don't want to get into an argument, and, perhaps your former SIL did not spend the child support money wisely, and perhaps your brother was "taken advantage of" but I have a few questions.

Did the children also live in the big house with her? (or did they sleep outside?) Did the children go to the good school district where the big house was located? (or did she make them walk to the lower quality school district of the former house?) Did the children ride in the big SUV with her? (or did they walk or ride their bikes everywhere that they needed to go?) . Then the children did benefit from those purchases.

BTW, in child support situations in some states, insurance, medical and dental bills are in addition to child support, not expenses that are to be paid for out of the regular child support. That may be the case in your brother's state.

If the mother "never spent a dime of child support on the children", Who paid for their food? (or didn't they eat?) Who paid for the electricity and the water bill in the house? (or didn't they take showers or use electric lights?) Who paid for the sheets and pillows that they slept on? Who paid for the furniture that they used in the house? Etc. Etc.

Sometimes, life is unfair. But, unless the children slept outside in a doghouse (without blankets or pillows), scavenged for food scraps out of garbage cans, walked every place they needed to go, never used a shower, or watched TV or benefited from the air conditioning or heat in the house your ex SIL did not just buy the big house & SUV for herself and did not "never spent a dime of the child support payments on the children".
Absolutely germain2626! The argument that child support is used only for the benefit of the ex is tiring and just plain wrong. Children are expensive and parents should step up and take care of them.

If your brother took his cheating wife to court to get the kids back but 'lost' I am sure there is something he's not telling you. If he was able to pay child support and take the kids on trips he wasn't broke.

I am sure there are some parents out there that get child support and are not very good parents but I think most parents want the best for their kids. They need support (financial, physical and emotional) to raise the kids.
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Old 08-16-2014, 06:26 PM
 
43,012 posts, read 89,018,139 times
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What did your girlfriend decide?
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Old 08-16-2014, 08:04 PM
 
300 posts, read 321,842 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CSD610 View Post
I think if she wants to sign the waiver then it is absolutely her right to sign the waiver without any grief from anyone else.
If it were me I would take him to court and request that the back support to split evenly and sent to the children each month but since it isn't me.
It is her life, her decision and her choice to make alone without any input from anyone else.
Well it is her choice...But...

She is still the kids' mother. Her children will learn form her example.
The dad had a moral and legal obligation to support his children.
The children, as minors who couldn't provide for themselves, needed the financial support.

By letting him off-the-hook, what is this telling the kids:
1) that they aren't worthy of their father's support?
2) that' it's ok for fathers to shine-off your moral or financial responsibilities?
3) that mother's don't deserve to the legal and monetary compensation as rewarded by court?
4) that it ok to ignore court orders?

Mom may be over hassling with this dead-beat jerk, but she still has an obligation to teach her kids how to stand-up for their rights. Parenting is never over and it's never easy.
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Old 08-16-2014, 08:29 PM
Status: "be kind." (set 26 days ago)
 
2,684 posts, read 3,886,841 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Hopes View Post
What did your girlfriend decide?
She is not going to waive the arrears.

I told her about my city data post and she said she was surprised at the passion and good points made by many posters. She has been following the thread and has a court date next month. I will update when I know more.
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Old 08-16-2014, 09:33 PM
 
Location: Kalamalka Lake, B.C.
2,970 posts, read 3,766,455 times
Reputation: 3774
Default It may not even be within her power to release

Quote:
Originally Posted by Charlotteborn View Post
She is not going to waive the arrears.

I told her about my city data post and she said she was surprised at the passion and good points made by many posters. She has been following the thread and has a court date next month. I will update when I know more.
In most jurisdictions I know of once the court orders payment the spouse doesn't even have the right to release the other parent of the debt, because technically it's paid into the states coffers. The court may have to remind her of that. The state is collecting on behalf of the child.

I've had friends sign up as the standup thing to do, only to find later they aren't even the parent.
Even that is now irrelevant up here. If you signed, you owe. And the debt remains until collected,
no matter the age or status of the relationship.
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Old 08-16-2014, 11:35 PM
 
300 posts, read 321,842 times
Reputation: 218
Quote:
Originally Posted by Charlotteborn View Post
She is not going to waive the arrears.

I told her about my city data post and she said she was surprised at the passion and good points made by many posters. She has been following the thread and has a court date next month. I will update when I know more.
Bravo!

She's showing her kids what it means to stand up for your rights.
She's showing her kids that dad's do have a responsibility to their kids.
She's showing her kids that finical obligations must honored.
Most importantly she showing the kids that they are important enough to fight for.

That a good mom--putting aside her own "desire to thi behind her" and fight for her children.
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