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Old 08-17-2014, 12:47 AM
 
519 posts, read 557,050 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Charlotteborn View Post
Absolutely germain2626! The argument that child support is used only for the benefit of the ex is tiring and just plain wrong. Children are expensive and parents should step up and take care of them.

If your brother took his cheating wife to court to get the kids back but 'lost' I am sure there is something he's not telling you. If he was able to pay child support and take the kids on trips he wasn't broke.

I am sure there are some parents out there that get child support and are not very good parents but I think most parents want the best for their kids. They need support (financial, physical and emotional) to raise the kids.
You must have missed the part where I said he was always broke as a result of spending every penny on his children, because his ex didn't spend any of the child support on the kids. She never spent anything on them. They never had toys, clothes, school supplies, or anything unless he spent his own money. The child support went to drinking and plastic surgery and other nonsense. She's dumped the kids off at his house and gone off on vacation without them several times.

And there's nothing "he's not telling" me. I've been to every court date with him, as all our family has. The odds are always stacked against the father, unless the mom is a known drug user or sex offender, or just doesn't want the children. The court system is never stacked in the father's favor when all things are considered equal.

Hey, I'm just chiming in here with my $.02. I see all this talk about "deadbeat" dads, and I wanted to point out that there are "deadbeat" women, too.
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Old 08-17-2014, 12:54 AM
 
300 posts, read 322,387 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Zepheyr View Post
You must have missed the part where I said he was always broke as a result of spending every penny on his children, because his ex didn't spend any of the child support on the kids. She never spent anything on them. They never had toys, clothes, school supplies, or anything unless he spent his own money. The child support went to drinking and plastic surgery and other nonsense. She's dumped the kids off at his house and gone off on vacation without them several times.

And there's nothing "he's not telling" me. I've been to every court date with him, as all our family has. The odds are always stacked against the father, unless the mom is a known drug user or sex offender, or just doesn't want the children. The court system is never stacked in the father's favor when all things are considered equal.

Hey, I'm just chiming in here with my $.02. I see all this talk about "deadbeat" dads, and I wanted to point out that there are "deadbeat" women, too.
Just curious, when she dumped the kids at his house, was it your brother's scheduled visitation weeK?
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Old 08-17-2014, 12:57 AM
 
5,413 posts, read 4,829,493 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Zepheyr View Post

Hey, I'm just chiming in here with my $.02. I see all this talk about "deadbeat" dads, and I wanted to point out that there are "deadbeat" women, too.
No one had denied that sometimes fathers are the better parent than the mother and if that was really the case, even in Texas, the father would be able to present that case....but really......if this woman actually did half of what you claim.....they are very very rare compared to the fathers that skip out on their kids and even if it's all true, it doesn't excuse a mother getting help caring for a child.
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Old 08-17-2014, 03:36 AM
 
519 posts, read 557,050 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by blu4u View Post
Just curious, when she dumped the kids at his house, was it your brother's scheduled visitation weeK?
Nope.
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Old 08-17-2014, 03:41 AM
 
519 posts, read 557,050 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ScarletG View Post
No one had denied that sometimes fathers are the better parent than the mother and if that was really the case, even in Texas, the father would be able to present that case....but really......if this woman actually did half of what you claim.....they are very very rare compared to the fathers that skip out on their kids and even if it's all true, it doesn't excuse a mother getting help caring for a child.
"Half of what I claimed?" "Very very rare?" Are you kidding? Why is it so hard to believe that a woman could use her children for her own gain and be a generally terrible parent? Is it really that shocking? Women do not have the monopoly on good parenting.
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Old 08-17-2014, 10:48 AM
 
Location: In my skin
8,882 posts, read 13,863,945 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Zepheyr View Post
"Half of what I claimed?" "Very very rare?" Are you kidding? Why is it so hard to believe that a woman could use her children for her own gain and be a generally terrible parent? Is it really that shocking? Women do not have the monopoly on good parenting.
I don't think anyone is denying that these things happen but what you're saying doesn't really fit with the purpose of child support. It is supposed to cover a portion of rent, food, utilities, etc. She doesn't have to account for every penny. And the amount he pays should be X percentage of his income. That is to ensure that he is doing his part. Being a custodial parent often costs more money that child support doesn't cover.

You also said she had a way better paying job. So how do you know the money she spent on herself wasn't actually hers? It would make sense that having the extra money in child support would free up some of her own. Again, she may be a selfish beech. But if dad sees child support the way you see it, and I'm guessing he does since you're speaking for him, she's not the only one with issues.
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Old 08-17-2014, 10:57 AM
 
Location: In my skin
8,882 posts, read 13,863,945 times
Reputation: 8735
Sorry, HE had a way better job. But she still had a job, correct? CS would still free up some of her own money.

By the way, do you live in Texas? I do and the family courts are not as ruthless as you describe, not in the cases I personally know of.
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Old 08-17-2014, 11:45 AM
 
2,688 posts, read 3,893,144 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Zepheyr View Post
You must have missed the part where I said he was always broke as a result of spending every penny on his children, because his ex didn't spend any of the child support on the kids. She never spent anything on them. They never had toys, clothes, school supplies, or anything unless he spent his own money. The child support went to drinking and plastic surgery and other nonsense. She's dumped the kids off at his house and gone off on vacation without them several times.

And there's nothing "he's not telling" me. I've been to every court date with him, as all our family has. The odds are always stacked against the father, unless the mom is a known drug user or sex offender, or just doesn't want the children. The court system is never stacked in the father's favor when all things are considered equal.

Hey, I'm just chiming in here with my $.02. I see all this talk about "deadbeat" dads, and I wanted to point out that there are "deadbeat" women, too.
I understand what you are saying Zepheyr. I know there are bad parents out there - both men and women. In your brothers case it sounds like he should have gotten custody of the kids. His ex sounds like a real prize. Good thing your brother was a good father as it sounds like his kids needed someone to step up.

Back to my friends situation. She is/was a very good parent. She sacrificed (willingly and without complaint!) to be sure her kids had what they needed. Her ex apparently needed to find himself and couldn't be bothered to keep up with child support or be around for the kids. As I said, he saw the kids maybe two or three times a year - sometimes for only a day or so.

She told me that she never actually thought of waiving child support owed to her. She said she was not surprised that he asked for her to waive support but very surprised he actually thought she would do it. He even told her he thought it was in the best interests of the kids! What a jerk.
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Old 09-13-2014, 04:43 PM
 
2,688 posts, read 3,893,144 times
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Update as promised.

My friend and her ex went to court and the judge ordered that her ex pay all past due arrears through garnishment of his wages. The judge also gave her ex a stern talking to about his responsibilities (lack of) as a parent.

Thankfully, this is one deadbeat parent that will be not be allowed to dodge the system!
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Old 09-14-2014, 12:08 PM
 
3,759 posts, read 2,916,325 times
Reputation: 11999
What a great judge!
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