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Old 08-11-2014, 07:23 PM
 
43,012 posts, read 88,940,518 times
Reputation: 30256

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Charlotteborn View Post
She has put him behind her - she even remarried.

I don't think that excuses him from paying child support for his kids. She struggled for many years raising the kids without support from him.
Obviously, she feels differently than you do. I can understand her wanting to be done with it.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Charlotteborn View Post
Why shouldn't she get the money that is due?
Many people don't realize that child support payments can actually cause children to not quality for financial aid. Even though this is all back child support, she has to report any payments she receives as income when applying for financial aid.
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Old 08-11-2014, 07:29 PM
 
Location: Wisconsin
16,471 posts, read 15,905,878 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mattie View Post
Absolutely, as soon as the previous debt has been satisfied. Before? No way.
Quote:
Originally Posted by anifani821 View Post
Nope. It is owed. It is in arrears. Maybe Mom can pay off some debt she incurred or use it to help with college expenses for her kids.

In any case, it is owed and a person shouldn't get a pass for being an asshat for more than a decade and not paying when the mom had to scrape around to make ends meet.
I totally agree. She scrimped to support her children for those ten years when he wasn't paying the required child support. I doubt if she was able to put aside for their college education or pay off her mortgage or for her retirement during that time. In fact, she may actually have substantial debts from that time.
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Old 08-11-2014, 07:34 PM
 
Location: MMU->ABE->ATL->ASH
9,002 posts, read 16,118,243 times
Reputation: 9676
Pay up..

She can pay back any debts.

Fund her Retirement saving she has not done since she had to cover the money he did not pay..
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Old 08-11-2014, 07:54 PM
 
875 posts, read 643,422 times
Reputation: 2079
No way would I waive past child support.

A similar situation occurred with a family member of mine. Single mom was working three different low wage jobs, didn't get much of anything from the deadbeat dad. She did end up remarrying a great guy a few years later, a man who never formally adopted her son but treated him as his own, even brought him into his family business.

Deadbeat surfaced 20 years later and wanted her to sign off on the judgment, because he was trying to get a small biz loan himself. He told her, "You don't need it, why would you do this to me?" Jerk! No, she didn't need it by that time, but it sure would have been nice to have had only one job when their son was young. She settled for half and gave it to her grown son for a down payment on his house.
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Old 08-11-2014, 08:02 PM
 
Location: State of Being
35,885 posts, read 65,242,129 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Hopes View Post
Obviously, she feels differently than you do. I can understand her wanting to be done with it.


Many people don't realize that child support payments can actually cause children to not quality for financial aid. Even though this is all back child support, she has to report any payments she receives as income when applying for financial aid.

I would say that using the money rather than having to take out a loan would be a very good thing, indeed.

Refusing it on the basis of it affecting one's ability to get financial aid would be a big mistake.
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Old 08-12-2014, 03:42 AM
 
Location: Tucson for awhile longer
8,874 posts, read 12,914,194 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Charlotteborn View Post
She has put him behind her - she even remarried.

I don't think that excuses him from paying child support for his kids. She struggled for many years raising the kids without support from him. Why shouldn't she get the money that is due?
I absolutely agree with you. If she doesn't want or need the money that is past due to her, it should go to his kids. He shorted them all those years. What he owes might pay college loans or can be used as the down payment on their first house. He should thank his lucky stars he isn't required to make huge interest payments. That's what the IRS would require of him if he failed to pay them on time.
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Old 08-12-2014, 03:53 AM
 
4 posts, read 4,030 times
Reputation: 13
Well, the Divorce rate seems to sink, maybe we should really think about it...

• US - divorce rate 1990-2011 | Timeline
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Old 08-12-2014, 05:21 AM
 
43,012 posts, read 88,940,518 times
Reputation: 30256
Quote:
Originally Posted by anifani821 View Post
I would say that using the money rather than having to take out a loan would be a very good thing, indeed.

Refusing it on the basis of it affecting one's ability to get financial aid would be a big mistake.
It wouldn't be a big mistake if the child support payments aren't enough to pay for college but are just enough to not qualify for financial aid. And financial aid isn't just loans. It's grants and work study programs too.

But, hey, I'm supporting a decision to refuse it based on simply not wanting to bother with the prick anymore.

It's her decision, not the OP's and not ours.
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Old 08-12-2014, 05:31 AM
 
Location: Richmond, VA
835 posts, read 815,516 times
Reputation: 904
Quote:
Originally Posted by Charlotteborn View Post
She has put him behind her - she even remarried.

I don't think that excuses him from paying child support for his kids. She struggled for many years raising the kids without support from him. Why shouldn't she get the money that is due?
It doesn't. IMO she is entitled to every cent owed to her, regardless of the kid's age. It's just sad that it's taking this long for them to begin garnishing his wages.
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Old 08-12-2014, 06:04 AM
 
13,007 posts, read 12,434,284 times
Reputation: 37256
Those kids deserve that money, even if she's thinking she'll give it a pass.
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