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Old 08-12-2014, 07:37 AM
 
3,493 posts, read 4,730,386 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Charlotteborn View Post
I have a friend with two children. Both are over 18. My friends ex was court ordered to pay child support after their divorce but only paid for a year or two. (Should have paid for 10-11 years)

The ex's employer has recently been served with orders to garnish wages. The ex has asked my friend to agree to terminate child support since the kids are past child support age.

I said 'No way!'. My friend struggled for many years raising the kids as a single parent. I suggested that the payments be put in savings for the kids or retirement for my friend.

Just seems crazy to me to waive the support that should have been paid all those years. Any thoughts?
She was forced to finance raising the children with debt. Having to pay for everything that way kept her from having an opportunity to save for retirement. She should be demanding back pay for every payment missed and interested on the money. If she wants to be vindictive, make the interest reflective of the risk involved, which is to say put credit-card level interest rates (IE 17 to 24%) on it. I doubt she'll find a judge that will agree to impose those rates, unless the judge has prior experience with a deadbeat.
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Old 08-12-2014, 09:28 AM
 
Location: USA
7,778 posts, read 9,664,961 times
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My daughter's ex was a deadbeat dad. She let him get away with it. Their 2 daughters have a good relationship now with their dad. He remarried and he and new wife had other children. He often visits his first daughter's facebook pages and habitually quotes various biblical scriptures. I have a difficult time not posting something about his lowlife existence, but I restrain myself.
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Old 08-12-2014, 10:26 AM
 
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Since the kids are now over 18, I'd want to involve them in the decision.
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Old 08-12-2014, 10:57 AM
 
Location: Wisconsin
16,529 posts, read 16,069,841 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Molli View Post
Since the kids are now over 18, I'd want to involve them in the decision.
I agree that they could be involved, as long as they are told the full financial implications of how Dad not paying child support effected their Mom and their family.

Such as Mom not being able to save money towards her retirement for that ten years, having to pay off credit card debt incurred because he was not paying child support and things like that.

It isn't a simple as Dad repaying the $60,000 now that he did not pay years ago. If Mom had been able to save $6,000 a year towards her retirement from 1995 to 2005, instead of spending every dime on her children, that would be worth a lot more than just $60,000 right now. Or if she had been able to pay $6,000 more a year to the mortgage company her house may be paid off much faster and she would have saved, perhaps, $100,000 or more in interest payments. That may have been enough for her to pay for her children's college educations rather than the children having to take out huge student loans. There are probably a lot more examples.

Frankly, it doesn't matter if the kids are 18 or 28 or 48. Their biological father was ordered to pay that money for child support through the court system and he still owes that money. He should be thanking his lucky stars that he doesn't have years and years of interest due on the money that he needs to pay as well.

Of course, getting the money years and years later will not make up for Mom having to work two jobs or her children going hungry at times or being embarrassed about having to get free lunches or food stamps or never being able to buy new clothes or go on a vacation but it is a start.

Last edited by germaine2626; 08-12-2014 at 11:13 AM..
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Old 08-12-2014, 11:01 AM
 
35,121 posts, read 38,059,484 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Charlotteborn View Post
I have a friend with two children. Both are over 18. My friends ex was court ordered to pay child support after their divorce but only paid for a year or two. (Should have paid for 10-11 years)

The ex's employer has recently been served with orders to garnish wages. The ex has asked my friend to agree to terminate child support since the kids are past child support age.

I said 'No way!'. My friend struggled for many years raising the kids as a single parent. I suggested that the payments be put in savings for the kids or retirement for my friend.

Just seems crazy to me to waive the support that should have been paid all those years. Any thoughts?

I think if she wants to sign the waiver then it is absolutely her right to sign the waiver without any grief from anyone else.
If it were me I would take him to court and request that the back support to split evenly and sent to the children each month but since it isn't me.
It is her life, her decision and her choice to make alone without any input from anyone else.
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Old 08-12-2014, 11:16 AM
 
2,694 posts, read 3,910,935 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by germaine2626 View Post
I agree that they could be involved, as long as they are told the full financial implications of how Dad not paying child support effected their Mom and their family.

Such as Mom not being able to save money towards her retirement for that ten years, having to pay off credit card debt incurred because he was not paying child support and things like that.

It isn't a simple as Dad repaying the $60,000 now that he did not pay years ago. If Mom had been able to save $6,000 a year towards her retirement from 1995 to 2005, instead of spending every dime on her children, that would be worth a lot more than just $60,000 right now. Or if she had been able to pay $6,000 more a year to the mortgage company her house may be paid off much faster and she would have saved, perhaps, $100,000 or more in interest payments. There are probably a lot more examples.

Frankly, it doesn't matter if the kids are 18 or 28 or 48. Their biological father was ordered to pay that money for child support through the court system and he still owes that money. He should be thanking his lucky stars that he doesn't have years and years of interest due on the money that he needs to pay as well.
I absolutely agree!

My friend was unable to collect child support many of the years because she could not track her ex down or he was working 'under the table'. He lived out of state and only saw the kids a few times a year.

I know how hard she worked and struggled to raise the kids and I think she deserves every penny that is owed to her.

I disagree that the kids should be involved in the decision to terminate back support. The back child support is money that was court ordered to help the mom raise her kids. Her ex was a dead beat which caused her and her kids to live a more difficult life than they would have if he had paid.

I remember seeing Judge Judy years ago with a similar scenario. Judge Judy told the Mom that if she didn't fight for child support she was a deadbeat too. JJ said it is a parents obligation to see that their children get what they are due.

Thanks for all of the comments. I am going to share them with my friend.
I will update when I know what happens!
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Old 08-12-2014, 11:18 AM
 
43,012 posts, read 89,335,158 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Charlotteborn View Post
Thanks for all of the comments. I am going to share them with my friend.
Are you going to print out the thread and share all of the comments? Or are you only going to share the comments that support the path you think she should take?
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Old 08-12-2014, 11:35 AM
 
2,321 posts, read 2,374,922 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Rubi3 View Post
My daughter's ex was a deadbeat dad. She let him get away with it. Their 2 daughters have a good relationship now with their dad. He remarried and he and new wife had other children. He often visits his first daughter's facebook pages and habitually quotes various biblical scriptures. I have a difficult time not posting something about his lowlife existence, but I restrain myself.

Good for you for taking the high road.
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Old 08-12-2014, 11:37 AM
 
2,321 posts, read 2,374,922 times
Reputation: 2645
Quote:
Originally Posted by Charlotteborn View Post
I disagree that the kids should be involved in the decision to terminate back support. The back child support is money that was court ordered to help the mom raise her kids. Her ex was a dead beat which caused her and her kids to live a more difficult life than they would have if he had paid.
Actually in some jurisdictions the right to collect back child support also belongs to a child once the child attains the age of adulthood. Thus, the mother would only be able to waive HER rights to collect, not the children's rights.
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Old 08-12-2014, 11:38 AM
 
5,691 posts, read 5,145,815 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Hopes View Post
There are more important things in life than money. I can understand wanting to put him behind her and get on with her life.

Me too. If I didn't need the money, I'd let it go. Not for him, but for me. I would not need the negativity.
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