U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Parenting
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 08-12-2014, 01:04 PM
 
Location: Ohio
5,627 posts, read 4,640,102 times
Reputation: 6732

Advertisements

Do the kids still live with her? Does she still take care of them? Do they have jobs? all this needs to be factored in before she "needs' this money. They are over 18, technically your friend doesnt need the money to raise or make up for lost time in raising the kids.

She COULD have went to court long before now if he couldnt be found or wasnt paying. In a way I feel its a bit selfish she feels shes owed somehow because she struggled. Sure it was court ordered but why drag it out? Is he magically going to keep this job and pay her?

Also just because she says she will drop it doesnt mean a judge will agree. Sometimes its done outside of court if both parties agree but sometimes its in front of a judge.

Personally as someone who pays child support- Id drop it because your friends days of raising these children are done and she doesnt need the money. The kids are 18, they can get jobs and dont need the money.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 08-12-2014, 01:30 PM
 
Location: Vermont
10,093 posts, read 10,613,133 times
Reputation: 13445
Absolutely not. He forced your friend and his children to live in deprivation because he preferred not to honor his moral and legal obligation to support him. Now, he wants her to agree that he can go on living his comfortable life, with no regard to the fact that he already had the easy life because he didn't pay what he owed?

Absolutely not.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 08-12-2014, 01:43 PM
 
8,133 posts, read 5,702,064 times
Reputation: 11527
"Child support" is alimony by a different name.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 08-12-2014, 02:21 PM
Status: "be kind." (set 25 days ago)
 
2,683 posts, read 3,885,118 times
Reputation: 6257
Quote:
Originally Posted by War Beagle View Post
"Child support" is alimony by a different name.
Really?

You must not have ever raised a child. Or, are you being forced to pay child support?
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 08-12-2014, 02:23 PM
 
Location: Ohio
5,627 posts, read 4,640,102 times
Reputation: 6732
Quote:
Originally Posted by Charlotteborn View Post
Really?

You must not have ever raised a child. Or, are you being forced to pay child support?
I could be wrong but i think that poster was implying that in THIS case the support would be used for the mother (as for alimon) not for support (for the children).
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 08-12-2014, 02:29 PM
Status: "be kind." (set 25 days ago)
 
2,683 posts, read 3,885,118 times
Reputation: 6257
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ohky0815 View Post
Do the kids still live with her? Does she still take care of them? Do they have jobs? all this needs to be factored in before she "needs' this money. They are over 18, technically your friend doesnt need the money to raise or make up for lost time in raising the kids.

She COULD have went to court long before now if he couldnt be found or wasnt paying. In a way I feel its a bit selfish she feels shes owed somehow because she struggled. Sure it was court ordered but why drag it out? Is he magically going to keep this job and pay her?

Also just because she says she will drop it doesnt mean a judge will agree. Sometimes its done outside of court if both parties agree but sometimes its in front of a judge.

Personally as someone who pays child support- Id drop it because your friends days of raising these children are done and she doesnt need the money. The kids are 18, they can get jobs and dont need the money.
She could use the money - who couldn't? But that is not the point. Even if she was rich I would encourage her to make him fulfill his obligation and pay child support. Her ex did not pay court ordered child support. He skirted the system by getting paid under the table and not telling her where he was working. She worked hard to raise the kids and I doubt she has much, if any, savings or retirement. Why do you assume that 'technically' she doesn't need the money? How was she going to take him to court if she couldn't find him? Why is it selfish for her to receive money that the court ordered her to have?
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 08-12-2014, 02:33 PM
 
5,413 posts, read 4,820,098 times
Reputation: 9351
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ohky0815 View Post
I could be wrong but i think that poster was implying that in THIS case the support would be used for the mother (as for alimon) not for support (for the children).
And for all the past years who supported the children? Wasn't the tooth fairy.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 08-12-2014, 02:39 PM
Status: "be kind." (set 25 days ago)
 
2,683 posts, read 3,885,118 times
Reputation: 6257
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ohky0815 View Post
I could be wrong but i think that poster was implying that in THIS case the support would be used for the mother (as for alimon) not for support (for the children).
If that is what he meant I still disagree.

Children need food, shelter, clothing, etc. at a very minimum. Because her ex chose not to pay child support while the kids were growing up she had to provide everything financially for the kids. How is reimbursement for unpaid child support considered alimony?
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 08-12-2014, 02:59 PM
 
Location: Ohio
5,627 posts, read 4,640,102 times
Reputation: 6732
Quote:
Originally Posted by Charlotteborn View Post
She could use the money - who couldn't? But that is not the point. Even if she was rich I would encourage her to make him fulfill his obligation and pay child support. Her ex did not pay court ordered child support. He skirted the system by getting paid under the table and not telling her where he was working. She worked hard to raise the kids and I doubt she has much, if any, savings or retirement. Why do you assume that 'technically' she doesn't need the money? How was she going to take him to court if she couldn't find him? Why is it selfish for her to receive money that the court ordered her to have?
He doesnt have to tell HER where he works, he has to report that to child support. She doesnt have to take him to court, she goes to the CSEA and files there and they find him.

Sounds like she never tried and now wants a big check.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 08-12-2014, 03:32 PM
 
Location: Wisconsin
16,489 posts, read 15,932,856 times
Reputation: 38829
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ohky0815 View Post
He doesnt have to tell HER where he works, he has to report that to child support. She doesnt have to take him to court, she goes to the CSEA and files there and they find him.

Sounds like she never tried and now wants a big check.
I really doubt if the child support place is going to search all over the USA (and possibly the world) for a deadbeat dad if they have absolutely no clue where he currently lives. That is why the OPs friend couldn't get child support from him as well as the fact that he took his wages "under the table" so there would be no record of him having a job with the IRS. He probably took a legit job now because his children are over 18 and he did not know that he still had to pay all the child support payments that he missed for ten years.

Do you really think that deadbeat dads who are disobeying the law by not paying court ordered child support are going to voluntarily notify the agency when they move to a new apartment or new city or new state or get a new job (where they are paid illegally "under the table")?

If you truly believe that, I have a bridge that I would like to sell you for a great price.

Last edited by germaine2626; 08-12-2014 at 03:49 PM..
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:

Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Parenting
Follow City-Data.com founder on our Forum or

All times are GMT -6.

2005-2018, Advameg, Inc.

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35 - Top