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Old 08-12-2014, 04:44 PM
 
2,688 posts, read 3,894,615 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ohky0815 View Post
He doesnt have to tell HER where he works, he has to report that to child support. She doesnt have to take him to court, she goes to the CSEA and files there and they find him.

Sounds like she never tried and now wants a big check.
You must live on a different planet than me. You honestly believe that a deadbeat parent will report themselves to child support?

I would want a big check
Wouldn't you? If you were owed it?
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Old 08-12-2014, 04:48 PM
 
2,688 posts, read 3,894,615 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by germaine2626 View Post
I really doubt if the child support place is going to search all over the USA (and possibly the world) for a deadbeat dad if they have absolutely no clue where he currently lives. That is why the OPs friend couldn't get child support from him as well as the fact that he took his wages "under the table" so there would be no record of him having a job with the IRS. He probably took a legit job now because his children are over 18 and he did not know that he still had to all the child support payments that he missed for ten years.

Do you really think that dads who are disobeying the law by not paying court ordered child support are going to voluntarily notify the agency when they move to a new apartment or new city or new state or get a new job (where they are paid illegally "under the table")?

If you truly believe that, I have a bridge that I would like to sell you for a great price.
Very well said germaine2626!

I never thought about the fact that maybe he assumed he would be safe in his new job now that the kids are over 18.
I bet he thought he would not be responsible for paying all the money owed in arrearages!
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Old 08-12-2014, 05:18 PM
 
Location: Denver area
21,149 posts, read 22,152,810 times
Reputation: 35614
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ohky0815 View Post
Do the kids still live with her? Does she still take care of them? Do they have jobs? all this needs to be factored in before she "needs' this money. They are over 18, technically your friend doesnt need the money to raise or make up for lost time in raising the kids.

She COULD have went to court long before now if he couldnt be found or wasnt paying. In a way I feel its a bit selfish she feels shes owed somehow because she struggled. Sure it was court ordered but why drag it out? Is he magically going to keep this job and pay her?

Also just because she says she will drop it doesnt mean a judge will agree. Sometimes its done outside of court if both parties agree but sometimes its in front of a judge.

Personally as someone who pays child support- Id drop it because your friends days of raising these children are done and she doesnt need the money. The kids are 18, they can get jobs and dont need the money.
This is ridiculous. This woman worked several jobs paying for those children with no assistance from their father because (if I recall the OP correctly) - he was difficult to track down and frequently worked under the table. Newsflash: neither she nor the courts should have to track him down and garnish his wages to collect support for his own children. If she was unable to contribute toward her own retirement or went into unnecessary debt (or really, even if she didn't - but that's not the case here) so that she could provide for those children then yes, that money is owed to her. Her - not the children. That money is owed to her. To put toward her retirement or wherever she needs (or wants) it to go. She paid for his obligations all those years and deserves to be repaid.

Last edited by Jaded; 08-12-2014 at 05:44 PM..
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Old 08-12-2014, 06:33 PM
 
Location: Fort Lauderdale, Florida
8,198 posts, read 7,500,119 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Charlotteborn View Post
I have a friend with two children. Both are over 18. My friends ex was court ordered to pay child support after their divorce but only paid for a year or two. (Should have paid for 10-11 years)

The ex's employer has recently been served with orders to garnish wages. The ex has asked my friend to agree to terminate child support since the kids are past child support age.

I said 'No way!'. My friend struggled for many years raising the kids as a single parent. I suggested that the payments be put in savings for the kids or retirement for my friend.

Just seems crazy to me to waive the support that should have been paid all those years. Any thoughts?
It isn't up to your friend.

Child support is court ordered and the court will make him pay.
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Old 08-12-2014, 06:41 PM
 
Location: Fort Lauderdale, Florida
8,198 posts, read 7,500,119 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Charlotteborn View Post
Her ex has asked her to agree to terminate child support. She would have to agree and go to court to state that she wants all child support terminated.
She can go to court and absolve him of future child support but you cannot absolve previous support.

Child support is Federally mandated but handled by the states. The court system will have their hands tied.

He will never be able to get a passport or collect his social security retirement until this debt is paid. He will also have his income tax withheld if he even bothers to file.
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Old 08-12-2014, 07:09 PM
 
2,688 posts, read 3,894,615 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by blueherons View Post
She can go to court and absolve him of future child support but you cannot absolve previous support.

Child support is Federally mandated but handled by the states. The court system will have their hands tied.

He will never be able to get a passport or collect his social security retirement until this debt is paid. He will also have his income tax withheld if he even bothers to file.
Wow. I hope you are right blueherons!

She said that he had filed for termination and he told her they would have to go to court to agree to waive the arrearages. I believe they even have a court date. I told her to take every document she has to show how very little he has done to support the kids.

If you are right - that would be wonderful!
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Old 08-12-2014, 07:19 PM
 
Location: Fort Lauderdale, Florida
8,198 posts, read 7,500,119 times
Reputation: 17161
Quote:
Originally Posted by Charlotteborn View Post
Wow. I hope you are right blueherons!

She said that he had filed for termination and he told her they would have to go to court to agree to waive the arrearages. I believe they even have a court date. I told her to take every document she has to show how very little he has done to support the kids.

If you are right - that would be wonderful!
Yes, you have to file for termination but for future payments.

The court will already have the record of what he has paid and the amount he is in arrears.

She can't absolve him of his back payments. It is very black and white.
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Old 08-12-2014, 07:38 PM
 
12,404 posts, read 9,229,429 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Hopes View Post
There are more important things in life than money. I can understand wanting to put him behind her and get on with her life.
If she can afford to do that, and most single moms can't.
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Old 08-12-2014, 07:41 PM
 
12,404 posts, read 9,229,429 times
Reputation: 8868
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ohky0815 View Post
Do the kids still live with her? Does she still take care of them? Do they have jobs? all this needs to be factored in before she "needs' this money. They are over 18, technically your friend doesnt need the money to raise or make up for lost time in raising the kids.

She COULD have went to court long before now if he couldnt be found or wasnt paying. In a way I feel its a bit selfish she feels shes owed somehow because she struggled. Sure it was court ordered but why drag it out? Is he magically going to keep this job and pay her?

Also just because she says she will drop it doesnt mean a judge will agree. Sometimes its done outside of court if both parties agree but sometimes its in front of a judge.

Personally as someone who pays child support- Id drop it because your friends days of raising these children are done and she doesnt need the money. The kids are 18, they can get jobs and dont need the money.
But she's much worse off financially as a result of all of those years without the payments. The money is owed to her, period!
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Old 08-12-2014, 07:41 PM
 
Location: Ohio
5,627 posts, read 4,654,559 times
Reputation: 6732
Quote:
Originally Posted by Charlotteborn View Post
Wow. I hope you are right blueherons!

She said that he had filed for termination and he told her they would have to go to court to agree to waive the arrearages. I believe they even have a court date. I told her to take every document she has to show how very little he has done to support the kids.

If you are right - that would be wonderful!
Any documents arent going to matter. The judge will look at his payments and then go from there on deciding if it should be dropped.
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