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Old 08-11-2014, 06:44 PM
 
Location: The Mitten
753 posts, read 1,066,572 times
Reputation: 554

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What a Monday, just so much happened in one day but I'll spare the drama and only go to the parenting issue.

My parents are out of town for today and tomorrow, which leaves me watching their kids, my younger siblings. I have a 16 year old sister and a 12 year old brother.

Today, the girl took it upon herself to drink some alcohol, vodka and cranberry juice. This is while I was gone from work. She told me because I'm trying to be someone she can rely on, but I had to tell her parents.

While I'm worried about her drinking, I'm more worried about what I aloud her to do. She called me and asked me if she can go to her friend's house; a 19 year-boy. At first i felt ok about it, but I later realized it was a horrible idea. The guilt almost killed me. Every little though of what could happened race through my mind. Even when things should comfort my trust with her and going, it actually things worse.

I really wasnt worried about telling her parents about her drinking, but I didn't tell them where I aloud her to go. Which, to me, seems a lot worse.
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Old 08-11-2014, 06:59 PM
 
Location: sumter
7,241 posts, read 4,666,698 times
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If you are going to tell about the drinking, you may as well tell everything. Just in case this 16 year old girls ends up pregnant, you will at least have a good idea from whom. Hopefully that wont be the case but yeah, that was a bad move to let her be out of sight with a 19 year old boy. And the alcohol should be under lock and key if have teenagers in the house.
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Old 08-11-2014, 07:02 PM
 
43,012 posts, read 89,141,410 times
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Most 16 year olds have alone time with their boyfriends/girlfriends. Your parents knew she would be unsupervised while you worked. She could have easily gone behind your back and snuck out or had him over while you weren't home. But she didn't. She asked your permission. If your main problem was that you didn't tell your parents, tell them now.
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Old 08-11-2014, 07:05 PM
 
43,012 posts, read 89,141,410 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ipaper View Post
Just in case this 16 year old girls ends up pregnant...
Her sister can get pregnant even under her parents' watch. It doesn't require much time alone to have sex. I don't know one parent who has constant eyes on 16 year olds.
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Old 08-11-2014, 07:33 PM
 
Location: sumter
7,241 posts, read 4,666,698 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Hopes View Post
Her sister can get pregnant even under her parents' watch. It doesn't require much time alone to have sex. I don't know one parent who has constant eyes on 16 year olds.
That's true what you are saying and I understand that but, I'm just speaking of this particular point in time.
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Old 08-11-2014, 07:39 PM
 
43,012 posts, read 89,141,410 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ipaper View Post
That's true what you are saying and I understand that but, I'm just speaking of this particular point in time.
I know. Since the OP is already feeling super guilty, I don't want to her to feel responsible for a pregnancy when it could happen at any time.
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Old 08-11-2014, 08:24 PM
 
Location: The Mitten
753 posts, read 1,066,572 times
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I feel guilty only because it has happened to me. Having sex is great but so is taking responsibilities of what may come in the future. I'm 33 and a single father and I love my daughter to death. My ex-girlfriend and I were never ment to be, but having a kid changed everything.

On to my sister and knowing first hand what a kid would do to a 16 year old, yeah that I worried about. I also worried about worse things, like my sister being raped or murdered. I had no idea who this guy was. I knew of him, but I didn't know him personally. A ton of things went through my mind just knowing she was at a strange person's house. While she tried to comfort me with the truth, I could only think negatively.

Anyways I'm glad she's home. I did talk to her about drinking but really couldn't fulfill a sense of worry about it. On the other hand, I put the fear of God in her about sex and having a kid at 16. Hopefully she will understand when her mom finds out and drills her about drinking that I didn't do it to tell on her, but I wanted to protect her.
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Old 08-11-2014, 08:59 PM
 
Location: sumter
7,241 posts, read 4,666,698 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mitopcat View Post
I feel guilty only because it has happened to me. Having sex is great but so is taking responsibilities of what may come in the future. I'm 33 and a single father and I love my daughter to death. My ex-girlfriend and I were never ment to be, but having a kid changed everything.

On to my sister and knowing first hand what a kid would do to a 16 year old, yeah that I worried about. I also worried about worse things, like my sister being raped or murdered. I had no idea who this guy was. I knew of him, but I didn't know him personally. A ton of things went through my mind just knowing she was at a strange person's house. While she tried to comfort me with the truth, I could only think negatively.

Anyways I'm glad she's home. I did talk to her about drinking but really couldn't fulfill a sense of worry about it. On the other hand, I put the fear of God in her about sex and having a kid at 16. Hopefully she will understand when her mom finds out and drills her about drinking that I didn't do it to tell on her, but I wanted to protect her.
You have every right to worry but, just be thankful she is ok.
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Old 08-11-2014, 09:01 PM
 
3,354 posts, read 3,278,878 times
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You have to speak to her parents (and are they your parents, too?) This girl needs more supervision. She needs to be taken to the pediatrician or GYN for a pregnancy test, and then a Depo shot, to make sure that she doesn't get pregnant. It is extremely likely that she and her 19 yr old boyfriend are having sex. Also, your parents need to speak with her about underage alcohol consumption, and they need to lock up the alcohol or get it out of the house! It's unlikely, but they could be arrested for allowing their teen to drink. And if she's drinking their alcohol, what's to stop her from giving it to her friends? If any of them has a drunk driving accident, especially one that harms someone else, and it's found that the teens got the alcohol from the parents' house, the parents could be held financially and CRIMINALLY responsible! Don't hide what's going on with your sister because you're embarrassed that you didn't keep a better eye on her. You're not her parent. They are. They need to know about this before she's pregnant and in a drunk driving accident.
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Old 08-11-2014, 09:28 PM
 
Location: San Antonio, TX
10,870 posts, read 18,961,127 times
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It might be awkward, but you should talk to her about birth control if your parents aren't discussing it with her. You should offer to take her to get birth control if she feels like she needs it. If you're in Alaska, the age of consent is 16 so she and her boyfriend don't have to worry about the legal aspect of it, just the physical aspect...disease and pregnancy. You can't just scare a kid and tell them to stop, especially if they're already having sex (once you started, didn't it become an important part of your life?).

The alcohol is a different issue. You should tell her that you told your parents, and tell her the reason you told is that it could cause legal problems for your parents if she drank and got in an accident, or gave the alcohol to her friends. And tell your parents that they'd better lock up the liquor.
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