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Old 08-12-2014, 08:05 AM
 
1,472 posts, read 2,233,517 times
Reputation: 558

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I have to vent. We live with meanness next door to us AND across the street. My 2 boys (8 and 9) are very active and (most of the time) sweet. Next door are 3 girls, 10yo and twins 8yo. Their mother is (to be nice) like a rattlesnake. Gossips, intolerant, I could go on. It is rubbing off on the younger twins, the older 10yo is (what I notice anyway) sweeter and might escape the bad attitude of her mom.

Across the street the parents seem nicer, and have twins as well, they are 5yo girls.

About 2 wks ago, the nicer mom from the younger twins across street, brought one of them over to apologize and return a 'taken' item. She had (unbeknownst to us) taken a seashell that was in a chalk box on our front porch when they were over here playing earlier that day.

Yesterday, my 9yo came in and said that these younger twins said something mean to him about our dogs. She (or both of them) said 'nobody likes your dogs'. Well, he wasn't uber upset or anything...and by now, is getting used to the meanness that is constantly doled out to them by ONE or another of these total of 5 mean girls. Well, really 4 if you don't include the older, sweet one from next door. I am getting sick of it and tolerance is running out.

SO, last night I texted the mom from across the street, with the younger twins who told son that nobody liked his dogs. I said this: (names are replaced) "Billy said Alexis & (or?) Belle told him that nobody likes our dogs. Yikes. It's not true ()......but good thing he wasn't upset."

That's all I wrote, I wasn't mean or nasty, just 'alerting' her......she did not reply. I am fine with that. I don't need one. But, the silence is telling.

For what it's worth, these girls are afraid of our dogs. So is the mom. The larger dog is sweeter than sweet and the smaller is a mere 4 pounds!! We just hatched out chickens from an incubator and they were also afraid of the newborn chicks which were the size of a golf ball.

Thankfully, we DO have nice neighbors across and over one house! Their (nice) kids LOVE our dogs!

I usually wouldn't have texted the mom this, but you know what? We all here, in some way, have had to endure such meanness from this neighbor next door (the parents AND the 8yo twins who have learned from parents) and now these 2 girls across the street are going to join in? #1 I would want to know so I could address the mean attitude and #2 I am sick and tired and to put it out there to the mom, does help me to release some frustration.

Thanks for listening. Support would be helpful.

 
Old 08-12-2014, 08:18 AM
 
Location: No VA
224 posts, read 461,623 times
Reputation: 258
I would probably just let it go. Kids can say some mean things and I just don't think that was such a big deal. Not everyone loves dogs and that's ok. I wouldn't have said anything. If they are being mean to your son in other ways, then just tell him not to play with them anymore. Help him find some boys in the neighborhood to play with. My kids are outside playing with the other kids every day and sometimes they fight, but then 10 minutes later, they are best friends again. They are able to work it out with out me having to step in (they are 7 and 9).
I'm sorry you are having to go through this. I hope that he can make some new friends that he can get along with.
 
Old 08-12-2014, 08:25 AM
 
421 posts, read 449,264 times
Reputation: 390
I wouldn't get involved in the drama between the kids. Let them work things out on their own.
 
Old 08-12-2014, 08:30 AM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
39,156 posts, read 37,787,675 times
Reputation: 73891
I agree. If you start texting the parents with every grievance, you will be tattling just like the kids.

Minimize contact with the girls and invite over good friends as often as possible. Keep an ear out if you DO hear anything harmful, but if your boys report other comments similar to the dog comment, play it off as the girls' loss, kind of like, "Well, that's silly because we know Fifi and Rover are GREAT dogs."

Then move on to another topic. Don't let these girls become more than an afterthought in your house.
 
Old 08-12-2014, 08:31 AM
 
12,930 posts, read 19,818,561 times
Reputation: 33967
You complained because they don't like your dogs? You're the one who is going to end up with the reputation for being unreasonable. Save your outrage for something worthwhile.

And yes, as Eyeye said, let the kids work it out. No big deal if they don't want to play together.
 
Old 08-12-2014, 08:39 AM
 
Location: here
24,474 posts, read 28,767,996 times
Reputation: 31056
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mattie View Post
You complained because they don't like your dogs? You're the one who is going to end up with the reputation for being unreasonable. Save your outrage for something worthwhile.

And yes, as Eyeye said, let the kids work it out. No big deal if they don't want to play together.
Yes, this. I thought this was going to be a story about them bullying your kids. Who cares if they like your dogs or not?
 
Old 08-12-2014, 08:52 AM
 
8,546 posts, read 5,273,203 times
Reputation: 9115
I agree with the other responses. Let the drama stay between the kids. If your boys get fed up with it they can make a choice to avoid these girls. This is a learning experience for them about navigating unpleasant social relationships and although it may be painful to stand back and let it happen, it's an important lesson and they will learn how to draw their own personal boundaries with it. You can help them with that but it's not your place to contact the other moms about their kids' behavior. At least not for the things mentioned.
 
Old 08-12-2014, 08:52 AM
 
530 posts, read 960,187 times
Reputation: 1134
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mattie View Post
You complained because they don't like your dogs? You're the one who is going to end up with the reputation for being unreasonable. Save your outrage for something worthwhile.

And yes, as Eyeye said, let the kids work it out. No big deal if they don't want to play together.
I agree with Mattie. I also honestly don't understand why you would complain about the dog comment, particularly if it came from a five year old. Unfortunately, five year olds are not exactly the best at always phrasing things in ways that would not be deemed offensive. My oldest daughter was terrified of dogs when she was that age, and she didn't like anybody's dogs. No one seemed to take that personally though, even if she said something. It would seem obvious why she may say something because she was over-the-top afraid of dogs, and I was happy when people understood that.

That said, we had neighbors that we had a bit of an on and off relationship with in our old neighborhood. Their daughter sometimes told my kids things like, "your house is ugly." We never cared about those comments, and my kids would just sometimes tell me after the fact.

I only intervened if I saw a kid basically being verbally attacked in some way that was getting out of control. For example, sometimes the neighbor girls would go out of her way to try to exclude my younger daughter from activities. Other than that, I would only step in if my kids came to me to ask for help. Usually then I would tell them they can't play together if they can't be nice and work it out. Since the neighbors actually wanted to play with my kids, this usually worked out fine. Sometimes though I did have to bring my kids in the house for the day, particularly if one of my own kids was actually causing the problem for some reason. In the long run as the kids got older, they all learned to get along better, and the neighbor girl generally learned not to make those kind of comments that can ruffle feathers.
 
Old 08-12-2014, 08:54 AM
 
5,413 posts, read 4,825,854 times
Reputation: 9351
Quote:
Originally Posted by twowolves View Post
I have to vent. We live with meanness next door to us AND across the street. My 2 boys (8 and 9) are very active and (most of the time) sweet. Next door are 3 girls, 10yo and twins 8yo. Their mother is (to be nice) like a rattlesnake. Gossips, intolerant, I could go on. It is rubbing off on the younger twins, the older 10yo is (what I notice anyway) sweeter and might escape the bad attitude of her mom.

Across the street the parents seem nicer, and have twins as well, they are 5yo girls.

About 2 wks ago, the nicer mom from the younger twins across street, brought one of them over to apologize and return a 'taken' item. She had (unbeknownst to us) taken a seashell that was in a chalk box on our front porch when they were over here playing earlier that day.

Yesterday, my 9yo came in and said that these younger twins said something mean to him about our dogs. She (or both of them) said 'nobody likes your dogs'. Well, he wasn't uber upset or anything...and by now, is getting used to the meanness that is constantly doled out to them by ONE or another of these total of 5 mean girls. Well, really 4 if you don't include the older, sweet one from next door. I am getting sick of it and tolerance is running out.

SO, last night I texted the mom from across the street, with the younger twins who told son that nobody liked his dogs. I said this: (names are replaced) "Billy said Alexis & (or?) Belle told him that nobody likes our dogs. Yikes. It's not true ()......but good thing he wasn't upset."

That's all I wrote, I wasn't mean or nasty, just 'alerting' her......she did not reply. I am fine with that. I don't need one. But, the silence is telling.

For what it's worth, these girls are afraid of our dogs. So is the mom. The larger dog is sweeter than sweet and the smaller is a mere 4 pounds!! We just hatched out chickens from an incubator and they were also afraid of the newborn chicks which were the size of a golf ball.

Thankfully, we DO have nice neighbors across and over one house! Their (nice) kids LOVE our dogs!

I usually wouldn't have texted the mom this, but you know what? We all here, in some way, have had to endure such meanness from this neighbor next door (the parents AND the 8yo twins who have learned from parents) and now these 2 girls across the street are going to join in? #1 I would want to know so I could address the mean attitude and #2 I am sick and tired and to put it out there to the mom, does help me to release some frustration.

Thanks for listening. Support would be helpful.
Why is this even something with texting about? You are causing yourself drama over nothing. Ignore them....let the kids deal with pretty stuff and quite trying to start something.
 
Old 08-12-2014, 08:58 AM
 
2,321 posts, read 2,365,196 times
Reputation: 2645
Moderator Cut. Stop standing in for your son for stupid silly stuff like this. He needs to grow a back bone and quite whining to mommy over this idiodic stuff! How does your husband feel about this?

Last edited by Jaded; 08-12-2014 at 05:52 PM.. Reason: Personal attack
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