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Old 08-13-2014, 07:14 PM
 
Location: Hillsborough
2,825 posts, read 5,967,177 times
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I talked to our doctor on the phone tonight for about an hour. He is going to see her tomorrow to determine if there is an apparent cause for her pain, which she is still complaining of. He said that after that we can further discuss the possibility of taking her to a child therapist or not.
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Old 08-13-2014, 07:19 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lkb0714 View Post
She also claimed that this happened in the middle of the classroom with all the students there.

No, it is not yet time to make accusations. What it is time for is to take the child to the doctor and find out what physical evidence there is.
I wasn't suggesting that accusations be made. It is beyond my comprehension that any 5 yr old, developmentally delayed or not, could describe anal penetration without some element of truth. Either she saw it, or experienced it. Completely imagining it just doesn't seem age appropriate to me.

But yes, it's time, past time, to see a doctor.
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Old 08-13-2014, 07:19 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ADVentive View Post
I talked to our doctor on the phone tonight for about an hour. He is going to see her tomorrow to determine if there is an apparent cause for her pain, which she is still complaining of. He said that after that we can further discuss the possibility of taking her to a child therapist or not.

Great first step, Mom. You're handling it rationally.
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Old 08-13-2014, 08:14 PM
 
15,797 posts, read 13,234,893 times
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Originally Posted by Mattie View Post
I wasn't suggesting that accusations be made. It is beyond my comprehension that any 5 yr old, developmentally delayed or not, could describe anal penetration without some element of truth. Either she saw it, or experienced it. Completely imagining it just doesn't seem age appropriate to me.

But yes, it's time, past time, to see a doctor.
Do you have any training in the area?

My fairly limited training in both child psychology and signs/symptoms of child abuse make it seem very probable.

I apologize in advance for being graphic, but a child doesn't really see much difference between one body orifice and another. Young kids just don't have the cultural taboos associated with genitals and the rectum that adults have. You hear anal penetration and there is inherently a reaction related to sex and another negative connotation related to hygiene. That is not the reaction a child has. As germaine pointed out, young children have been known to put small objects in body orifices, commonly. Typically this is up their nose, but it is not unheard of for young girls to put things in their own vaginas. And when they do, it is no more of a big deal to them than when they stick them in their ears or nose.

Most parents of young children know they explore their own bodies regularly. With their own hands. Most of us teach them to do that in private in their own rooms (I suspect that sadly many parents tell them not to do it at all but that is another thread). Exploring their own bodies frequently include their own rectums, especially with young kids the age of the OPs daughter who is not far out of the potty training age.

It should also be pointed out that kids this age, and a little older, frequently are interested NONSEXUALLY in each others differences. Sometimes, this kids even touch each others parts. Again, normal behavior or at least a normal inclination, one we discourage. But again, not a sexual behavior but still one that happens often at this age. Now there are definitely children who are being abused themselves, who then act out sexually against others, that is a distinct difference and if there is evidence that the OPs daughter was touched, than it needs to be determined who did the touching, and if it was one of her peers, whether it was sexual in nature so as to help that child as well.
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Old 08-13-2014, 08:40 PM
 
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I'm still a little stunned that the doctor decided to talk to her (and see the child) 2 days later.

Sorry, but she should have been seen by a doctor that day.
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Old 08-13-2014, 08:52 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lkb0714 View Post
Do you have any training in the area?

My fairly limited training in both child psychology and signs/symptoms of child abuse make it seem very probable.

I apologize in advance for being graphic, but a child doesn't really see much difference between one body orifice and another. Young kids just don't have the cultural taboos associated with genitals and the rectum that adults have. You hear anal penetration and there is inherently a reaction related to sex and another negative connotation related to hygiene. That is not the reaction a child has. As germaine pointed out, young children have been known to put small objects in body orifices, commonly. Typically this is up their nose, but it is not unheard of for young girls to put things in their own vaginas. And when they do, it is no more of a big deal to them than when they stick them in their ears or nose.

Most parents of young children know they explore their own bodies regularly. With their own hands. Most of us teach them to do that in private in their own rooms (I suspect that sadly many parents tell them not to do it at all but that is another thread). Exploring their own bodies frequently include their own rectums, especially with young kids the age of the OPs daughter who is not far out of the potty training age.

It should also be pointed out that kids this age, and a little older, frequently are interested NONSEXUALLY in each others differences. Sometimes, this kids even touch each others parts. Again, normal behavior or at least a normal inclination, one we discourage. But again, not a sexual behavior but still one that happens often at this age. Now there are definitely children who are being abused themselves, who then act out sexually against others, that is a distinct difference and if there is evidence that the OPs daughter was touched, than it needs to be determined who did the touching, and if it was one of her peers, whether it was sexual in nature so as to help that child as well.
I respect your limited expertise. And, I don't consider myself an alarmist. It's just far beyond my comprehension that such a young child would use that terminology. I would expect a child to take things literally, as in, things come out of our bodies there, nothing enters, because that's the normal experience.
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Old 08-13-2014, 08:59 PM
 
15,797 posts, read 13,234,893 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mattie View Post
I respect your limited expertise. And, I don't consider myself an alarmist. It's just far beyond my comprehension that such a young child would use that terminology. I would expect a child to take things literally, as in, things come out of our bodies there, nothing enters, because that's the normal experience.
Once more, she did not use that terminology. I suggest you reread the original post. She said "finger in the hole in my bottom". Which words are outside the scope of a 5 yo?

Normally, things come out of noses, but I cannot tell you how many times I have seen little children with their fingers up there anyway.
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Old 08-13-2014, 09:11 PM
 
Location: Foot of the Rockies
85,052 posts, read 99,039,232 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Zimbochick View Post
If it were me I would first try to find out what she has heard recently. Has anyone spoken to her about inappropriate touch, etc.? It's very common for kids to personalize such talks. If that's not the case a trip to her pediatrician is absolutely necessary. Have you spoken to the school counsellor?
Yes. While my first thought was 'how can she talk about penetration without some knowledge of it?', it is true that kids will hear stuff like this and say it happened to them. I have a friend and neighbor who is an elementary school phys. ed teacher. Many of the little girls had huge crushes on him; would walk by his house hoping to get a glimpse of him, etc. One day a little girl proudly proclaimed, "Mr. (Smith) touched me on my private parts" as a sort of brag. He had to go through an investigation, where it turned out that he had patted the girl on the head. Kids don't always know what those terms mean.
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Old 08-13-2014, 09:14 PM
 
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lkb and Germain -- Children sticking things in their own private parts is actually a SIGN of potential molestation.
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Old 08-13-2014, 09:30 PM
 
Location: Wisconsin
16,528 posts, read 16,025,498 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Hopes View Post
lkb and Germain -- Children sticking things in their own private parts is actually a SIGN of potential molestation.
Yes, it can be.

But it can also be for the same reason that children put things in their ears and noses, just basic curiosity about their bodies.
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