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lkb and Germain -- Children sticking things in their own private parts is actually a SIGN of potential molestation.
It can be, but it is also a normal behavior in children who have not been sexually abused.
Again, children do not have the same taboos about their genitals adults do. Children who have not been abused frequently touch, and explore their own genitals.
A useful read in its entirely for anyone concerned.
I talked to our doctor on the phone tonight for about an hour. He is going to see her tomorrow to determine if there is an apparent cause for her pain, which she is still complaining of. He said that after that we can further discuss the possibility of taking her to a child therapist or not.
So she has been in pain how many days now? Is tomorrow the FOURTH DAY? Why did the doctor spend an hour on the phone today instead of having you come in? Are you the one who can't make herself available to take this child to a doctor???
It can be, but it is also a normal behavior in children who have not been sexually abused.
Again, children do not have the same taboos about their genitals adults do. Children who have not been abused frequently touch, and explore their own genitals.
A useful read in its entirely for anyone concerned.
From your own link: Fewer than 1.5% exhibit any of the following: putting the mouth on genitals, asking to engage in specific sex acts, imitating intercourse, inserting objects into the vagina or anus, and touching animal genitals.9 Such behaviors do not necessarily imply the child has been sexually abused but do merit further assessment
I don't think I could be so laissez-faire about what this child said. I also think a pediatrician, not a family practitioner, would be a better choice under the circumstances.
Possible molestation aside, if the child states that she is in pain she needs to see a doctor. She may just have a UTI or something. IMO the fact the kid said she was in pain should have meant an immediate doctor appointment. I'm glad she will get to see the doctor tomorrow.
I also think a pediatrician, not a family practitioner, would be a better choice under the circumstances.
I agree. A family practitioner isn't going to be as versed in the signs of child abuse. If he was, he wouldn't have taken so long to see the OP's daughter.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Madeline2121
Possible molestation aside, if the child states that she is in pain she needs to see a doctor. She may just have a UTI or something. IMO the fact the kid said she was in pain should have meant an immediate doctor appointment. I'm glad she will get to see the doctor tomorrow.
UTI can be a sign of molestation too. It's a low probability sign, but the girl's claims increase the odds if she does have an infection.
From your own link: Fewer than 1.5% exhibit any of the following: putting the mouth on genitals, asking to engage in specific sex acts, imitating intercourse, inserting objects into the vagina or anus, and touching animal genitals.9 Such behaviors do not necessarily imply the child has been sexually abused but do merit further assessment
I don't think I could be so laissez-faire about what this child said. I also think a pediatrician, not a family practitioner, would be a better choice under the circumstances.
That isn't what she said happened though. You are so caught up in your own emotional response you keep losing track of the facts and misrepresenting what people have said.
She said another boy touched her genitals, not inserted some foreign object, that occurred in something like 8% of children in this particular study.
"touching children's and adults' genitals, but these behaviors are less common, occurring in fewer than 8% of children 2 to 5 years old"
Additionally, they go on to say.
"Recognition of physiologic gender differences occurs during this time and contributes to inquisitive viewing and touching of other children's genitals"
As for being laissez-faire, I have repeatedly urged the OP to visit the doctor immediately, including suggesting a pediatrician over a family practioner,I suggested she ignore the counselors advice to do nothing and so on. But again, your knee jerk reaction shows a need to peg anyone without the same emotional response to an accusation of abuse that includes a claim of it occurring in the middle of the classroom (something you keep ignoring btw) as being dismissive. I am not, what I am is not rushing to judgement in either direction nor encouraging the OP to pass on her fears to her child.
That isn't what she said happened though. You are so caught up in your own emotional response you keep losing track of the facts and misrepresenting what people have said.
She said another boy touched her genitals, not inserted some foreign object, that occurred in something like 8% of children in this particular study.
"touching children's and adults' genitals, but these behaviors are less common, occurring in fewer than 8% of children 2 to 5 years old"
You need to be reminded that you and Germaine are the ones who brought up the scenario of the child doing things to herself.
Quote:
Originally Posted by lkb0714
But again, your knee jerk reaction shows a need to peg anyone without the same emotional response to an accusation of abuse that includes a claim of it occurring in the middle of the classroom (something you keep ignoring btw) as being dismissive. I am not, what I am is not rushing to judgement in either direction nor encouraging the OP to pass on her fears to her child.
Nobody here is encouraging her to pass her fears to her child.
You need to be reminded that you and Germaine are the ones who brought up the scenario of the child doing things to herself.
That is a lie, what I said is sometimes female children do such a thing and it's not abnormal. I never said the OPs daughter injured herself by inserting things into herself.
Quote:
Nobody here is encouraging her to pass her fears to her child.
Well accusing people who suggest the mother take the child to the doctor immediately, while not beating down the schools door to make accusations without evidence besides a highly implausible account from a child who is known to make up stories, of being "laissez-faire" suggests the correct course of action is not rationality but panic. Kids pick up panic like a sponge.
That is a lie, what I said is sometimes female children do such a thing and it's not abnormal. I never said the OPs daughter injured herself by inserting things into herself.
Well accusing people who suggest the mother take the child to the doctor immediately, while not beating down the schools door to make accusations without evidence besides a highly implausible account from a child who is known to make up stories, of being "laissez-faire" suggests the correct course of action is not rationality but panic. Kids pick up panic like a sponge.
Says who? Not a single person here has said to panic. We said to stop being lazy. There was definitely a better course of action to be taken but the RATIONAL response should have been:
-Contact the school by phone or in person with concerns about the allegations
- Have the child seen by a practitioner due to the presence of pain in that area
- Have the child seen by a practitioner due to the allegations (made twice unprovoked)
- Then decide how to move forward based on the findings
Here are my concerns. Its now day three, and if the doctor (who isn't trained in this aspect) doesn't find something, the mother decides that the daughter is in fact not being molested and now the abuse continues because she told her mom and nobody believed her.
I am not saying it happened indefinitely, but I am the parent of a special Ed child who had the same issue with "stories" and this is still not a typical scenario. The child said it very nonchalantly because like everyone has said, her vulva is the same as her nose, or eye (to her).
The story in and of itself is missing some key factors for me to feel one way or another. A husband, friends, counselor and teachers would not, and should not have said not to take her to a doctor, and something there doesn't fit. Even if they know your daughter makes stuff up. The husbands reaction is a big red flag to me, and I would like to know what his initial reaction to the claim was. OP can you answer that for us?
Someone in this childs life should take these allegations seriously in case they are valid. Discrediting her, and having others doubt her on initial contact is not fair to her. There must be an advocate in her life. The moms reaction is peculiar in the sense that there was no "emergency mode". That doesn't include panic, it includes caution, reason, and action.
There is a real possibility she is being sexually abused. Maybe not by the boy, and maybe not in the setting she said. But those words are beyond the imagination of a five year old with delayed learning. I would hate for the three days to be the reason the mother chalks this up to "a story" and the child now suffers in silence.
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