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Old 08-12-2014, 08:27 PM
 
Location: Wisconsin
16,503 posts, read 15,968,402 times
Reputation: 38894

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Quote:
Originally Posted by hunterseat View Post
Sometimes making a big deal over it is worse than what happened. Not to say she shouldn't be examined. Since SHE said "hurts" then she might be okay being examined.

I agree she got it from somewhere (the tale) so I suspect one of those kids is in a bad situation. Unless they watch the garbage on TV, kids don't just come up with this stuff.
We had a situation in my school quite a number of years ago where a second grade girl asked so many extremely detailed sexual questions after a program about good touching and bad touching that everyone, in the beginning, including the presenter, school nurse, principal, police and CPS (talking to her separately) thought that she was molested.

After, extensive investigation, it turned out that her teenage brother used to watch soft core porn on the TV and would leave the channel turned to the Playboy Channel (or whatever) when he went to bed and she had occasionally watched it when she woke up in the middle of the night or very early in the morning. Obviously, not great parenting but it turned out that she was not being molested even though her language was not typical for a second grader.
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Old 08-12-2014, 08:47 PM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
39,194 posts, read 37,806,900 times
Reputation: 73965
Quote:
Originally Posted by Robdreamz View Post
I will tell you how to " proceed"! Children don't lie about being "Sexually molested"! You are a parent and don't know how to "proceed"? Really?

there is a difference between dreaming about a "beach party" that would never happen and a boy sticking his finger in her "Vulva"!
I wonder if this is even a true story since most 5 year olds don't go around calling their "privates' Vulva!
Did the 5-year-old use the word "vulva," or did the parent just use it here to describe where the kid said she was touched?

I have to believe that a parent who would teach their kid to use "vulva" would also know to teach their child that a doctor is allowed to touch their privates with supervision.
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Old 08-12-2014, 08:48 PM
 
Location: Hillsborough
2,825 posts, read 5,959,678 times
Reputation: 2620
Quote:
Originally Posted by Robdreamz View Post
I will tell you how to " proceed"! Children don't lie about being "Sexually molested"! You are a parent and don't know how to "proceed"? Really?

there is a difference between dreaming about a "beach party" that would never happen and a boy sticking his finger in her "Vulva"!
I wonder if this is even a true story since most 5 year olds don't go around calling their "privates' Vulva!
Um, sorry, that is what we call it in our house. We don't just say "privates" or something. I find it a bit surprising that a few folks are questioning my honesty. I mean, I'm not some troll - I've been an active member of this board for 7 years! But in case you care, here is a post that I made back in 2011 referring to my other child when she was 5 years old, mentioning that she too said "vulva" at that age:

Quote:
Just tonight, my 5yo asked me - "When I came out of your tummy, did I come out from your vulva?" Oy! She has not yet asked how she got in there though.
Link
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Old 08-12-2014, 08:54 PM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
39,194 posts, read 37,806,900 times
Reputation: 73965
Quote:
Originally Posted by ADVentive View Post
Um, sorry, that is what we call it in our house. We don't just say "privates" or something. I find it a bit surprising that a few folks are questioning my honesty. I mean, I'm not some troll - I've been an active member of this board for 7 years! But in case you care, here is a post that I made back in 2011 referring to my other child when she was 5 years old, mentioning that she too said "vulva" at that age:
I believe you.

Go with your gut. Taking her to the doctor may not prove anything anyway if there are no visible signs of trauma. Yes, you should always have your child checked out when she says something like this, but it is not a guarantee of anything.

You know your child best. Whichever professionals are closest to her, talk to them about communication with her going forward.
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Old 08-12-2014, 09:02 PM
 
Location: Hillsborough
2,825 posts, read 5,959,678 times
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As for the doctor, he tried to call me back after hours, but I missed the call. I will have to talk to him tomorrow. I am going to make her an appointment either way because she does keep saying it hurts and she seems to be itchy there, so maybe she has something going on there that needs to be addressed either way. I am telling her that I am going to take her to the doc because her vulva hurts, without mentioning anything about the boy touching her.

She did mention again tonight about the boy touching her, which is concerning. We were talking about who she plays with at school and who her friends are. She says this one is my friend, and that one, but not B. We just said, why not B? We are trying not to lead her statements. She said because he touches her vulva. I asked her where she was when this happened, and she said in the classroom, on the carpet. I can't imagine how that could happen right in the middle of the classroom like that though! I told her that nobody at school should touch her privates, and then added that she should also not touch anyone else's privates. She didn't say anything about that happening, but I figured I should add that in while we're on the topic. I told her again to tell her teacher if something happens at school.
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Old 08-12-2014, 09:07 PM
 
Location: Hillsborough
2,825 posts, read 5,959,678 times
Reputation: 2620
Quote:
Originally Posted by hunterseat View Post
Sometimes making a big deal over it is worse than what happened. Not to say she shouldn't be examined. Since SHE said "hurts" then she might be okay being examined.

I agree she got it from somewhere (the tale) so I suspect one of those kids is in a bad situation. Unless they watch the garbage on TV, kids don't just come up with this stuff.
Yah, she watches toddler shows like Daniel Tiger and Dora and Blue's Clues. Nothing very mature.
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Old 08-12-2014, 09:47 PM
 
2,321 posts, read 2,365,745 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ADVentive View Post
As for the doctor, he tried to call me back after hours, but I missed the call. I will have to talk to him tomorrow. I am going to make her an appointment either way because she does keep saying it hurts and she seems to be itchy there, so maybe she has something going on there that needs to be addressed either way. I am telling her that I am going to take her to the doc because her vulva hurts, without mentioning anything about the boy touching her.

She did mention again tonight about the boy touching her, which is concerning. We were talking about who she plays with at school and who her friends are. She says this one is my friend, and that one, but not B. We just said, why not B? We are trying not to lead her statements. She said because he touches her vulva. I asked her where she was when this happened, and she said in the classroom, on the carpet. I can't imagine how that could happen right in the middle of the classroom like that though! I told her that nobody at school should touch her privates, and then added that she should also not touch anyone else's privates. She didn't say anything about that happening, but I figured I should add that in while we're on the topic. I told her again to tell her teacher if something happens at school.
Why aren't you calling the police and let the experts handle this instead of waiting around? Do you plan to send your daughter back into the environmental tomorrow that she is claiming sexual abuse is occurring? This is beyond unbelievable to me that you are handling this by telling her to tell her teacher if something happens again. How many times does she need to experience this?
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Old 08-12-2014, 09:57 PM
 
43,012 posts, read 89,076,504 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ADVentive View Post
Um, sorry, that is what we call it in our house. We don't just say "privates" or something. I find it a bit surprising that a few folks are questioning my honesty. I mean, I'm not some troll - I've been an active member of this board for 7 years! But in case you care, here is a post that I made back in 2011 referring to my other child when she was 5 years old, mentioning that she too said "vulva" at that age:
I remember that post! LOL Did she ever get around to asking how she got in there?

Quote:
Originally Posted by ADVentive View Post
As for the doctor, he tried to call me back after hours, but I missed the call. I will have to talk to him tomorrow. I am going to make her an appointment either way because she does keep saying it hurts and she seems to be itchy there, so maybe she has something going on there that needs to be addressed either way. I am telling her that I am going to take her to the doc because her vulva hurts, without mentioning anything about the boy touching her.
I think a child should see a pediatrician anytime a child says they are in pain down there. My girlfriend called me once and said her daughter was complaining she hurt down there. I encouraged her to take her to the doctor. It turned out she had a urinary tract infection. Even if nobody touched your daughter, it's important to be seen. She could have a yeast infection or something.

Quote:
Originally Posted by ADVentive View Post
As She did mention again tonight about the boy touching her, which is concerning. We were talking about who she plays with at school and who her friends are. She says this one is my friend, and that one, but not B. We just said, why not B? We are trying not to lead her statements. She said because he touches her vulva. I asked her where she was when this happened, and she said in the classroom, on the carpet. I can't imagine how that could happen right in the middle of the classroom like that though! I told her that nobody at school should touch her privates, and then added that she should also not touch anyone else's privates. She didn't say anything about that happening, but I figured I should add that in while we're on the topic. I told her again to tell her teacher if something happens at school.
If she is still saying it's hurting without your asking her, she needs to be seen by the doctor tomorrow. Her still talking about this without being asked questions and prompted is an indication that you're past the wait and see approach.
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Old 08-12-2014, 09:58 PM
 
492 posts, read 506,574 times
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She may be too scared to say someone else did it, so she is saying a more non threatening person (a peer) did it. I would definitely go to the doctor.
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Old 08-12-2014, 10:04 PM
 
43,012 posts, read 89,076,504 times
Reputation: 30261
Quote:
Originally Posted by Molli View Post
Why aren't you calling the police and let the experts handle this instead of waiting around? Do you plan to send your daughter back into the environmental tomorrow that she is claiming sexual abuse is occurring? This is beyond unbelievable to me that you are handling this by telling her to tell her teacher if something happens again. How many times does she need to experience this?
I don't think the police need to be called, yet, but you have a point about sending her to school before knowing for certain if anything happened. Even if it doesn't happen again, it may be traumatic to be near/see whoever did it---if it happened at all. I understand the OP being perplexed because she said it happened on the carpet in the classroom. That conjures images of a big group of children gathered together for story time. If she wears pants to school, that's very unlikely. But maybe someone is keeping her alone separate from the other kids. Or maybe it's a different classroom. Special ed classrooms can have fewer students---as few as one or two at certain times of the day.
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