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Old 08-13-2014, 01:00 PM
 
Location: Hillsborough
2,825 posts, read 5,957,822 times
Reputation: 2620

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It is a bit unnerving that everyone on the internet is saying one thing while everyone in real life is saying another. But keep in mind that the people in real life are the ones who actually know my daughter, so maybe that plays into their response. I will see what the doc has to say tonight, and will explain why she should be seen either way based on the fact that she is complaining about pain. The office didn't want to give me an appointment today unless the doc said it was necessary because he was already booked up so they would have to do a work-in appointment, which requires his instruction to do so. If necessary, I can have her seen by a different doctor, but that is complicated for us because she will be less likely to cooperate with an exam from someone she doesn't know, and I do not want to get into a situation where I am exerting force on her for a vaginal exam.

I do not feel like I am ignoring the situation or sweeping anything under the rug. I have talked to her teacher, her guidance counselor, and her doctor (as well as you internet folks). I have also talked to my daughter, and I have at no time told her that I didn't believe her or anything like that. I told her that it was not okay for someone to touch her like that and that she should tell her teacher right away if it happens.

If CPS were to get involve and question why I didn't take her to the doctor, I would think that they would see that I called the doctor the day after I first heard about anything. I do not feel like I have anything to hide from CPS.
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Old 08-13-2014, 01:02 PM
 
Location: Waxhaw, NC
1,076 posts, read 1,927,551 times
Reputation: 1099
It should be unnerving. Why is it the teachers responsibility to take care of something you refuse to do? She didn't tell the teacher, she told her mom. The woman who's sole job is to protect her. Good job, mom.

ETA: This ridiculous idea that you are waiting for the doctor boggles the mind. So they couldn't fit you in today. You could have made an appt for tomorrow. You are making excuses. You look guilty.
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Old 08-13-2014, 01:07 PM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
39,117 posts, read 37,766,222 times
Reputation: 73824
Quote:
Originally Posted by ADVentive View Post
I just got off the phone with the doctor's office. They said that the doctor does not think I need to bring her in right away, but that he does want to talk to me about it by phone in more detail. He is going to call me after clinic around 6pm tonight.
Wow, I've NEVER had a doctor put me off TWICE. We've gotten worked in for effing sinus infections.

What is WITH this guy?

OP, do you take your daughter to the doctor a LOT for other issues?
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Old 08-13-2014, 01:13 PM
 
43,012 posts, read 89,044,931 times
Reputation: 30256
Quote:
Originally Posted by ADVentive View Post
It is a bit unnerving that everyone on the internet is saying one thing while everyone in real life is saying another. But keep in mind that the people in real life are the ones who actually know my daughter, so maybe that plays into their response.
Quote:
Originally Posted by ADVentive View Post
I do not feel like I am ignoring the situation or sweeping anything under the rug. I have talked to her teacher, her guidance counselor, and her doctor (as well as you internet folks).
Maybe children with disabilities are often targeted by molesters because the people who know them often don't believe them. As her mother, it's your responsibility to be her advocate and force people to take her seriously and do right by her. A child who claims she has been molested and says she is in pain should not be pushed aside because a doctor's schedule is booked. If you had called about strep throat, she would have had an appointment.

I understand the need for her to be comfortable with a doctor she knows, but this response is an indication this isn't the right doctor for your child. You called the doctor and they haven't scheduled an appointment for anytime, and you won't have talked to the doctor until Wednesday after 6pm. Even with a booked schedule, they could have fit you in for Thursday or Friday while you waited to hear if the doctor could see you sooner.

How did you present this to the doctor's office for them to form this conclusion? Did you say you didn't know if you believed your daughter? I would have simply said, "My daughter claims X happened and says she's in pain." If you elaborated on all of her lies about beach parties or whatever, you diminished her credibility.
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Old 08-13-2014, 01:14 PM
 
Location: Hillsborough
2,825 posts, read 5,957,822 times
Reputation: 2620
I take her to lots of appointments (developmental ped, OT, eye doc, dentist, etc), but this is just her regular doctor and she doesn't see him very frequently. She sees him for annual exams and maybe 1-2x per year for illnesses. We actually do like him a lot. He's a family doctor, not a pediatrician, so our whole family sees him.
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Old 08-13-2014, 01:22 PM
 
Location: Hillsborough
2,825 posts, read 5,957,822 times
Reputation: 2620
This first came up Monday night at bed time. I called the doctor's office on Tuesday. I told them what she said, and asked if I should bring her in. I did say that I don't know if it really happened or not, but that was why I wanted to know if I should bring her in. I don't know how much of the message was conveyed to the doctor. The doctor tried to return my call Tuesday after hours, but I missed his call. Today is Wednesday. I talked to the office again today, and they said he will talk to me tonight at 6pm. I have only talked to the office staff and the nurse so far. Right now it has been about 24 hours since I first called the doctor's office.
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Old 08-13-2014, 01:32 PM
 
16,724 posts, read 13,694,695 times
Reputation: 40996
This is beyond disgusting. Get off your arse and take your kid to the ER!!!

Last edited by Jaded; 08-14-2014 at 10:29 AM..
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Old 08-13-2014, 01:39 PM
 
43,012 posts, read 89,044,931 times
Reputation: 30256
The advantage to having a pediatrician (instead of a family doctor) is pediatric practices have plenty of slots for last minute appointments because children get sick often. My pediatrician had phone hour every morning 7 days a week. You talked directly to a doctor and an appointment was scheduled that day, even on Saturdays and Sundays.

I don't really understand your asking if you should bring her in. As a mother, you should know on your own. You should insist upon it. I'm having a hard time rectifying how this would have played out if you hadn't had people on the internet saying something different from the people in real life.

We're all hoping it's nothing. It very well may be nothing. But we are saying you need to know for certain one way or another. The longer it takes for your daughter to be seen, the less likely there will be evidence of molestation even if it happened. If she isn't seen until tomorrow, that's 72 hours from when she says it happened during school hours on Monday.
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Old 08-13-2014, 01:55 PM
 
1,915 posts, read 3,212,778 times
Reputation: 2996
Okay, I am coming to grips with talking about her vulva and her making up stories. What I have issues with is that your child claims to have been sexually violated, including ANAL penetration and you are waiting on another phone call....really? Not a good way to deal with this. She will be at an even greater risk of being a victim of sexually assault as she gets older. Please begin advocating for the safety of your child. No need to survey friends and people on the internet. Get her to a physician now...if she was really assaulted, it will be harder to detect the longer you wait. Geez!
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Old 08-13-2014, 01:55 PM
 
Location: Foot of the Rockies
85,013 posts, read 98,876,691 times
Reputation: 31456
Quote:
Originally Posted by ADVentive View Post
This first came up Monday night at bed time. I called the doctor's office on Tuesday. I told them what she said, and asked if I should bring her in. I did say that I don't know if it really happened or not, but that was why I wanted to know if I should bring her in. I don't know how much of the message was conveyed to the doctor. The doctor tried to return my call Tuesday after hours, but I missed his call. Today is Wednesday. I talked to the office again today, and they said he will talk to me tonight at 6pm. I have only talked to the office staff and the nurse so far. Right now it has been about 24 hours since I first called the doctor's office.
I work in a pediatrician's office. I think instead of playing phone tag, you should just make an appt.
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