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1. Nobody sits on the floor in my house. But if my child is already seated and a relative wants to sit I will bring in a kitchen chair. My kids aren't going to sit forever anyway.
2. Your beliefs lack reasoning. If there is nothing physically wrong, there is no reason people should feel entitled. Granted, when someone gets up, the seat becomes free. We don't assign seats according to class around here. This isn't titanic.
3. Let me pose a question to you. If everyone in the room is the same age, and you are one seat short, how would you determine who sits on the floor? Draw straws?
3. Let me pose a question to you. If everyone in the room is the same age, and you are one seat short, how would you determine who sits on the floor? Draw straws?
Most adults would look at each other and say something like "would you like to sit here?" and one of them will probably say "no, you go ahead and sit there, I'll sit over here on the floor". This is occasionally countered by "no, no, no you take the chair, I insist".
A child may say to his friends - I was here first you sit in the floor. Nana-nana-boo-boo.
Perhaps it is petty. I bought the house, I bought the chair, I've put in the hours at school/work, I provide, I created and my joints are older - I get the chair and no lip.
Most adults would look at each other and say something like "would you like to sit here?" and one of them will probably say "no, you go ahead and sit there, I'll sit over here on the floor". This is occasionally countered by "no, no, no you take the chair, I insist".
A child may say to his friends - I was here first you sit in the floor. Nana-nana-boo-boo.
Perhaps it is petty. I bought the house, I bought the chair, I've put in the hours at school/work, I provide, I created and my joints are older - I get the chair and no lip.
Well being that I bought it I choose not to kick people off it..
Yes my children count as people to me.
You unknowingly highlighted my point:
If the adult gave up his seat it would be out of pure kindness.
Forcing your child to move isn't the child being respectful, it's him moving because he was told.
My kids have rules they have to follow. Generally these rules are for their benefit. But I'm not going to make them feel something they don't.
If someone came and needed a seat, I would say "Grandma just had back surgery. Her back hurts. Would you please let her sit down?" Th same as I would tell them of a same age friend who legitimately needed to.
Not, "get up! You are a child!" every time someone of age walked through the door.
26 years of age And very liberal at that. Let me guess, conservative?
My point was, nobody deserves to be put on a pedestal because of age...
Respect is a privilege not a right IMHO.
Thanks for the compliment about age though. Some people still think for themselves as they grow older mind you
Teaching children respect for their elders helps them develop humility and teaches the important value that the world does not revolve around them. More importantly it reminds the child that they are inexperienced in life and can learn a lot from these older people who have experienced much more than they have. It does not make any sense to put children on an equal footing with older adults in the family structure, as children need to be trained and raised up by these very adults. All this being said I do believe that respect is something that is earned and age alone does not entitle any one to respect, but in a normal family situation age and experience should count for a lot. There is a reason that families have been structured the way they have for thousands of years. Children submit to parents, grandparents, aunts and uncles and in return they learn about the history of the family, family traditions, faith in God, and important life values. Now that modern progressive types have started to challenge this we are beginning to see the family weaken and even fall apart.
Well being that I bought it I choose not to kick people off it..
Yes my children count as people to me.
You unknowingly highlighted my point:
If the adult gave up his seat it would be out of pure kindness.
Forcing your child to move isn't the child being respectful, it's him moving because he was told.
Are you saying your child isn't kind? As far back as I can remember, I would gladly give up my seat to a parent without thinking nothing of it because hey, this is my parent, they love me, they have my best interest at heart, they provide for me and I'm cool with them being more comfy than me - they deserve it. How could i even entertain the idea that this person doesn't think of me as a person? My parents say it's good/respectful/nice to give my seat to other adults - cool, I'll do it. Next thing you know, I'm 20 yrs old and offering my seat to anyone that might want it.
Besides that, sometimes learning to do what you're told is a good life lesson. As kids get older they will do more and more of doing what they're told even if they don't like it (write this paper....wrong, rewrite it...stock these shelves for 8 hours, brown nose your boss to get that promotion even though you hate his guts, etc, etc.).
All this being said I do believe that respect is something that is earned and age alone does not entitle any one to respect, but in a normal family situation age and experience should count for a lot.
I agree with you, but maybe not just a little on this one. As a child I believe my thought process was that all adults started out with respect, but they could do or say things that would take it away.
26 years of age And very liberal at that. Let me guess, conservative?
My point was, nobody deserves to be put on a pedestal because of age...
Respect is a privilege not a right IMHO.
Thanks for the compliment about age though. Some people still think for themselves as they grow older mind you
I am close to your age, extremely liberal and yet i think that elders- as defined by ~20 yrs older- should be respected until given a reason not to be.
Like you, i DO agree that it is a privilege but i think that privilege should be automatic until proven otherwise. I've had a hel'uva time w awful bosses and older fam being Aholes and if/when they prove themselves to be unworthy, then no more respect. (I pretty much treat everyone this way of every age.)
As liberal as i am, respect to elders (and everyone) and men not hitting women are golden rules for me.
Knowing a lot of teachers, i hear the most horrendous stories of the most entitles kids AND parents! Stuff that would not have flied even 10-15 yrs ago. I suspect that narcissistic and coddled children being taught not to respect their elders is a big part of this. I will go so far as to say i think it might even be responsible for all of the current gridlock in government (entitled parents trickles down to entitled kids.)
Its moments like these when i really fear for society's future.
I have 2 3 1/2 ds 6 y/o DD. They don't interrupt or butt in but they aren't banished to a play room.
I don't know if you read my first sentence. My kids definitely aren't rude to adults, or anyone. But we don't emphasise the "mam" and "sir" lingo. This is their house as much as mine. I own it, and I say it's their's. If someone is out of line thry can let them know as long as it's appropriately.
They are assertive and entertaining. Both can carry on conversations with adults and other kids. In an adult way.
The problem is we underestimate young people. Mine aren't "rude". Rude means the same for all ages.
And if someone doesn't want them over I probably don't want them there either.
I love your assumptions
Ah...but you ARE teaching your child to be rude. If your 3 1/2 son, thinks it's cool to race daddy to his recliner, and that chair is just a chair, well....you could actually be teaching your child to have zero respect for his father. Where you take it from there, well...it's up to you. It's cuter than heck right now, just a game. When that child is 13 1/2 years old, and your husband can't even sit in his chair without having to fight with his kid over it, well....perhaps you'll think about it.
It's just a chair, right? No, it's not just a chair. It's about showing respect to the man who goes to work every day in order to put food on the table, Internet in the home, television and electricity and water and a roof over their heads and clothes on their backs.
Guess what? Many of us felt exactly the way you do, when we started our parenting journey. Believe it or not, but it's a fact. We did. We were wrong and had to do a wee bit of backpeddling and realize that our "beliefs" were steering our little ones in the wrong direction. We're just trying to share with you, that you truly do have to be careful. You can teach your children respect for others and that there is a natural hierarchy that is to be adhered to.
Listen, when my kids were little, my hubby didn't think that ole chair thing was an issue either. He's an "extra softy" kinda guy, and just like you, thought it was the silliest thing in the world to get worked up over. The kids got a little older and MOST of them respected the fact that I INSISTED that they respect their father, I INSISTED that they NOT be in his chair when he was ready to kick of his boots and put his aching feet up after a hard day. MOST of my children understood that it was disrespectful for them to be in his chair. His "early" way of thinking affected one of them in a big way, though.
Guess who ended up butting heads in a HUGE way? Yep, the one who had listened to his dad and didn't think that chair was "Dad's right", ended up living through over a decade of horrible dysfuctional life and has had so many regrets, because of his "lack of repect for others' feelings and rights". Yes, that followed him through life, that awful, entitled, childish, selfish attitude, an attitude TAUGHT to him by his father, not only put a wall between his father and him, but just about everyone else he encountered, until he GOT IT.
It's not about a CHAIR, it's about respect. It's about HONORING your parents. It's about the "heads" of the household being the "heads of the household". If your hubby's recliner is "just a chair", then the teacher's desk is "just a desk". It's not a big deal if the kid sits there, right? I mean, it's cool, because you can see everyone in the class from that desk, right? It's just another desk and another chair. Heck, let's go a bit further into the future. Let's say your grown child has a staff meeting he's expected to attend. The boss sits at the head of the table. It's just another chair, right? The boss can easily just sit in another chair, right? What's the biggie? Lemme tell ya Momma, there's a HUGE difference. It isn't JUST another chair. It is the BOSS' chair and your kid is not gonna be with the company very damn long, if he thinks he has the right to sit in his boss' chair. Trust me. That chair is MORE than just a chair.
It might seem awesome, that your little ones are assertive and entertaining. Hey, it makes them the center of attention, right? That same behavior might not be quite as darn cute, once they're teens and asserting themselves all over the place and needing to be the "center of attention", the most important person, the only one whose feelings matter. It's called...teaching your child to become an entitled, selfish human being, who has been taught to always think of themselves first. Your child does not have to CARE about others. Others have to CARE about them. If you don't love, you don't care. You can't love if you don't CARE. Please put 2 and 2 together and see where this COULD lead. I and others KNOW where it can lead. Don't shoot messengers who are trying to help you avoid some serious shyte for you and your kids, down the road, okay?
Last edited by beachmel; 08-15-2014 at 05:00 AM..
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And very liberal at that. Let me guess, conservative?
It's cuter than heck right now, just a game. When that child is 13 1/2 years old, and your husband can't even sit in his chair without having to fight with his kid over it, well....perhaps you'll think about it. 
