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So what's the appropriate way? The way you think you deserve to be honored?
I don't see "respect" as necessarily "honoring" someone in the way most people interpret the word. However, as a child I did honor my parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles and several other adults in the family (probably teachers, police, firemen and pastors, too).
The way I believe I (everyone) deserve to be treated is just as the definition of respect I quoted:
Quote:
: a feeling or understanding that someone or something is important, serious, etc., and should be treated in an appropriate way
Society has decided over the course of thousands of years that children should feel that adults are "important, serious and to be treated in an appropriate way". You are welcome to allow your children to buck tradition - I can't really comment on how that will work out.
What about adults that have never worked a day in their lives? Do they belong on the floor too?
My kids are very well behaved. Because they are treated like little adults, they act like it.
If someone is bothered by them (ex. noise) I don't mind them commenting but I cannot stand nosey strangers that think its their job to say things which are none of their business.
What do they do for my child? Nothing. I take care of them 24/7, so it's my business.
If an adult was annoying the sh*t out of me I would have some words. In short, speak to my kid as if he is equal. My methods may be unpopular , but hey, they work.
We have a certain expectation of children. We underestimate them. This is why I also never used baby talk.
I know what you are going to say...two topics but it all lumps together..children should be treated like little adults.
I know this post was not responding to me, but I just have to say that, yes, some adults belong on the floor. I won't lie, over the years, a few family members simply showed up to family functions here at our home. Not all of the aunts and uncles are even remotely, decent people, someone I would actually invite into my home. These are people who behave, consistently and predictably, like bad mannered, immature, entitled brats. They range in age from 45-60. They simply tagged along with an invited one or showed up out of the blue. There was never a time, not once, when I made anyone in the house, much less MY children in MY home, give up their chairs to these bratty grown children.
You know what's really troubling about these "adults"? They had the same mind set. That IS their mindset. They DESERVE respect. They thought so when they were kids and they've lived their own ridiculously dysfunctional lifestyle, fueled by that obsession. They resented anything that their parents or anyone else had, whether it be a coveted seating spot, a piece of cake that looked bigger, the better fork in the drawer....if someone else had it and liked it, it MUST be better than what THEY had and THEY deserved the BEST, ALWAYS. Yes, those people grew up to believe that every person, younger than them, should ALWAYS treat them like they're some kind of important person of status and authority.
They are not. They are bad tempered, entitled children. Yes, they may either sit on my floor or stand, or go find themselves something to sit on or leave. Leaving is always preferrable.
I don't see "respect" as necessarily "honoring" someone in the way most people interpret the word. However, as a child I did honor my parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles and several other adults in the family (probably teachers, police, firemen and pastors, too).
The way I believe I (everyone) deserve to be treated is just as the definition of respect I quoted:
Society has decided over the course of thousands of years that children should feel that adults are "important, serious and to be treated in an appropriate way". You are welcome to allow your children to buck tradition - I can't really comment on how that will work out.
The definition I associate with respect is:
Quote:
: a feeling or understanding that someone or something is important, serious, etc., and should be treated in an appropriate way
I do want that automatically given to me. I believe we've all dealt with kids that don't practice that. Most people have a term for it....BRAT.
I agree with the second bit but not the first bit. I'll be polite/curteous because it makes everyone's life easier, but I won't actually think someone is automatically important or worth taking seriously, especially not based on them just being older than me. They're just a person until proven otherwise.
I agree with the second bit but not the first bit. I'll be polite/curteous because it makes everyone's life easier, but I won't actually think someone is automatically important or worth taking seriously, especially not based on them just being older than me. They're just a person until proven otherwise.
I think most of us would agree to feeling the same way. If you are a polite and courteous person, you automatically behave in THAT fashion. It doesn't mean you've put anyone on a pedestal, but you haven't thrown them to the dogs yet, either. Everyone starts on middle ground with me, even if I've heard negative things about them. It's all a matter of treating others the way I'd like to be treated and I've tried to instill that same thing in my own children. Imagine the words and actions coming back at you. How do they make YOU feel? Does that person DESERVE those words and actions? Why do YOU think so? Is it based on what they've shown you, or are you basing your opinions and feelings on what someone told you about them?
I agree with the second bit but not the first bit. I'll be polite/curteous because it makes everyone's life easier, but I won't actually think someone is automatically important or worth taking seriously, especially not based on them just being older than me. They're just a person until proven otherwise.
To me being a human inherently makes someone important. For example, a raccoon and human aren't on the same level of importance in my world. Approaching a stranger I will assume they are inherently good/important/equal until they prove otherwise.
I am not a seen but not heard person, so maybe you're not looking for my opinion... but I teach my child to respect - not obey - everyone, regardless of age.
Me too.
But especially so of elders vs. peers. Obeying, no, that's not the case. But respect =/= automatic obeying.
My house is not a business, school or establishment. It is our home.
We feel we are there to guide our children and encourage them.
We are not drill sergents. My DD knows the difference betweenn home and school.
Teaching your children respect is not equal to being a drill sergeant.
We also weren't the seen and not heard crowd. At our family functions, we could be in adult conversation as children as long as we were respectful. There would be no interrupting of other people, and things we had to add to the conversation were as on topic as could be.
Also, trust me, we weren't taught blind obedience, and that's not something we would ever teach our children.
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Everyone starts on middle ground with me, even if I've heard negative things about them. It's all a matter of treating others the way I'd like to be treated and I've tried to instill that same thing in my own children. Imagine the words and actions coming back at you. How do they make YOU feel? Does that person DESERVE those words and actions? Why do YOU think so? Is it based on what they've shown you, or are you basing your opinions and feelings on what someone told you about them? 
