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Old 08-16-2014, 04:07 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Kibbiekat View Post
No, not ALL enjoyment. No one said that.
Well no one they're partaking in enjoyment while throwing the kids to the wolves. So what are we debating?

 
Old 08-16-2014, 04:10 PM
 
Location: here
24,469 posts, read 28,730,432 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by eddiehaskell View Post
Well no one they're partaking in enjoyment while throwing the kids to the wolves. So what are we debating?
Good question. You started it. Aside from trying to convince yourself it is ok to be selfish and a parent, I don't know what your point is.
 
Old 08-16-2014, 04:16 PM
 
15,743 posts, read 13,171,628 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by eddiehaskell View Post
Now you're getting it. Of note, you can replace vacation with retirement plan, fancy car, boat, jewelry or any other thing that brings people enjoyment.

Asked another way - should a parent forgo all enjoyment (that cost money) in order to redirect those funds toward making their child's life better?
What you are doing, is telling your children, and now the entire internet, that your WANTS are more important than their NEEDS. If you think it is not harmful to a child to know that their parents care more about a vacation than giving them the best start in life, than you are delusional. It is a FACT, that there is a strong correlation between socioeconomic status and quantifiable measures of success for children. So choosing to not give your children those advantages so you can have jewelry, boats, fancy cars, and vacations, YES THAT MAKES YOU A BAD PARENT.

If the best you CAN DO is average by your kids, so be it.

If the best you CHOOSE to do is average by your kids, you are likely a bad parent. Particularly if you choose to do average by them so you can do above average for yourself.

Second, if you do not understand the basic differences between needs or wants, then this entire thread is beyond pointless. You just tried to compare a need (like retirement savings) with a want (a fancy car).
 
Old 08-16-2014, 04:19 PM
 
1,167 posts, read 1,039,303 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by eddiehaskell View Post
Yes, that's me. I mentioned that thread several times in the last few days.

I'm in a great position for kids being young and retired so my cost will obviously be low. However, I am trying to discuss average people that aren't retired with children.
Are you?

Quote:
I don't like work, schedules, mornings, bosses, responsibility, feeling replaceable, consumerism, etc, etc.

I do like coming and going as I please, sleeping until noon, hanging out at the pool, traveling, women, reading BS on the internet, playing basketball, working with my hands once in a while, etc.
Financially? Possibly, since your partner (also the baby incubator) works full time.

In every other way, no, I would not consider your situation great for raising kids.
 
Old 08-16-2014, 04:20 PM
 
11,356 posts, read 6,424,031 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Kibbiekat View Post
Good question. You started it. Aside from trying to convince yourself it is ok to be selfish and a parent, I don't know what your point is.
Yes, topics like this seem to get off track rather quickly.
 
Old 08-16-2014, 04:25 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ozgal View Post
Financially? Possibly, since your partner (also the baby incubator) works full time.

In every other way, no, I would not consider your situation great for raising kids.
Have you ever heard of people conforming to their situation? Do you think the 21 yr old UCLA college student that's binge drinking, smoking weed and hooking up with frat boys will be the same young lady at 27 yrs old when she has two kids, marriage and a steady job? Let's hope not at least!
 
Old 08-16-2014, 04:32 PM
 
15,743 posts, read 13,171,628 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by eddiehaskell View Post
Have you ever heard of people conforming to their situation? Do you think the 21 yr old UCLA college student that's binge drinking, smoking weed and hooking up with frat boys will be the same young lady at 27 yrs old when she has two kids, marriage and a steady job? Let's hope not at least!
But it isn't your actions that make you a bad parenting candidate, it is the fact you think it is acceptable to put your wants before your child. That is something that is a fundamental flaw internally, as opposed to typically young adult behavior.
 
Old 08-16-2014, 04:36 PM
 
8,541 posts, read 5,262,232 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lkb0714 View Post
But it isn't your actions that make you a bad parenting candidate, it is the fact you think it is acceptable to put your wants before your child. That is something that is a fundamental flaw internally, as opposed to typically young adult behavior.
I agree with this. It's very selfish to be buying yourself fancy jewelry, boats, going on vacations while you let your kids just have the basics and nothing more. I can't imagine doing that.
 
Old 08-16-2014, 04:56 PM
 
11,356 posts, read 6,424,031 times
Reputation: 6107
Quote:
Originally Posted by lkb0714 View Post
But it isn't your actions that make you a bad parenting candidate, it is the fact you think it is acceptable to put your wants before your child. That is something that is a fundamental flaw internally, as opposed to typically young adult behavior.
ALL parents put some of their wants before the child. If they didn't all parents would the most basic of everything and the remaining money would go to the child. How many people do you know like that?
 
Old 08-16-2014, 04:58 PM
 
11,356 posts, read 6,424,031 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MissTerri View Post
I agree with this. It's very selfish to be buying yourself fancy jewelry, boats, going on vacations while you let your kids just have the basics and nothing more. I can't imagine doing that.
Do ever spend money on yourself that could go toward doing better for you child?
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