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Old 08-17-2014, 09:05 AM
 
15,762 posts, read 13,191,044 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by armory View Post
The whole point of this thread is skewed. Providing an average lifestyle is a blessing to a child. Too much and you have a spoiled brat. Too little and you have a kid who is wanting.

Average looks pretty good, right?
But if the reason you are providing average (and I would not say forcing a child to only shop at goodwill is typical of the average family with an average income) and nothing more for your children, is so that you can buy yourself above average cars, solo vacations, fancy boats, etc. that does teach a child a real lesson, and that their wants, and even needs, are not as important as dads wants.

In that case average would not be a blessing.

Unfortunately, this thread is not black and white, because the reason this person wants to make their kid wear used clothing does matter.

 
Old 08-17-2014, 09:16 AM
 
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We live in a working class neighborhood. Our house is small and is full of projects. It's a safe area and there is a lot we like about it. We bought it because we could afford it. The schools are a joke in this neighborhoods so I choiced into another district and I drive my oldest to and from school everyday. I will do the same with my youngest when she is ready for school. We shop at thrift stores (and we all have very nice clothes because of it!). We buy used furniture. Camping is our idea of a fun family vacation. We do sign up our kids for activities like swim lessons, dance, soccer, etc.

So while we are content with the average house in the average neighborhood, used cars, clothes and furniture, we are not content with sacrificing our kids' education or ability to participate in sports or other activities. Some things matter more then others when it comes to average. And no, I wouldn't choose to work more to live in a better house because I feel that the time spent with kids and as a family is worth something too. It's all about compromise and trade offs.
 
Old 08-17-2014, 10:43 AM
 
5,917 posts, read 4,064,932 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ozgal View Post

I don't think you started this topic to have an honest and open discussion about said topic. I do believe you are just trying to debate a point you want to make (even though you keep changing that point), and if that's the case, then perhaps it is best debated in the appropriate debating forum.
We have a winner!

Amazing that a topic posted by a non-parent who claims to be living small-ball got so much traction here. Eddie appears to have too much time on his hands (when he's not patting himself on the back) to construct these elaborate webs about how the whole world should work and, surprise, where somehow he always comes out as the logical one. Easy to do when it's 100% theory.
 
Old 08-17-2014, 11:44 AM
 
436 posts, read 307,034 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lkb0714 View Post
I would not say forcing a child to only shop at goodwill is typical of the average family with an average income
I know this is a small point, but since the goodwill thing has been touched upon quite a bit in this thread as indicative of a larger parenting problem, can someone explain to me what is wrong with goodwill? Most of my friends (average to above average incomes) shop at second hand places (thrift store, consignment stores, garage sales, CL, etc.) frequently, for younger kids at least. (Older kids are harder to find clothes for.) I also get my clothes from there the majority of the time. It's a conscious choice about not depleting natural resources by buying new. I'm not seeing a stigma for secondhand clothing. We typically buy new shoes and underwear etc but again - is this a regional stigma, or what?
 
Old 08-17-2014, 12:00 PM
 
15,762 posts, read 13,191,044 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by zenapple View Post
I know this is a small point, but since the goodwill thing has been touched upon quite a bit in this thread as indicative of a larger parenting problem, can someone explain to me what is wrong with goodwill? Most of my friends (average to above average incomes) shop at second hand places (thrift store, consignment stores, garage sales, CL, etc.) frequently, for younger kids at least. (Older kids are harder to find clothes for.) I also get my clothes from there the majority of the time. It's a conscious choice about not depleting natural resources by buying new. I'm not seeing a stigma for secondhand clothing. We typically buy new shoes and underwear etc but again - is this a regional stigma, or what?
Goodwill, is quite a bit different from a consignment shop, for more on this see the thread about shopping. It is frequently very poor quality, very out of date, and cheap. To be sure, the OP would be able to cloth his children for very little money at Goodwill. To afford his caribbean vacation or 5 day cruise or fancy car, or maybe all of them. He would have to take the average budget (about $700) and basically take it down to less than $100 a year. That would still price him out of even the decent thrift stores.

That being said, if you have to clothe you child at Goodwill so be it, parents have to do the best they can by their kids. But the average american is not buying the majority of their clothes at Goodwill, certainly not when the typical family spends nearly $700 on each child's clothing. Which goes up btw, quite a bit in middle and high school.
The Percent of Income to Budget for Clothes - Budgeting Money

It is an unfortunately reality that kids who always wear out of date, poor quality clothes, are more likely to be targeted for bullying, particularly if they are not dressing in a similar level of quality as their peers. Particularly once they hit middle school.

Now that being said, my kids have shopped for themselves since they were preteens, and frequently chose consignment shops, but the reality is they saved us nothing on our clothing budget, it just allowed them to dress "up" from what they would otherwise be able to afford.

As an aside, with regard to consumerism, clothing is just not the "planet saving" option you seem to imply it is. The clothes that go to goodwill, are just not the clothes that are going to end up in a landfill. If anything, when they hang out too long at goodwill, they typically get donated to very poor people or shipped to places they are truly needed like third world countries. If you really want to make a difference on natural resources, support companies that make clothing locally, a far more effective way to preserve resources.
 
Old 08-17-2014, 12:14 PM
 
8,546 posts, read 5,271,345 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lkb0714 View Post
Goodwill, is quite a bit different from a consignment shop, for more on this see the thread about shopping. It is frequently very poor quality, very out of date, and cheap. To be sure, the OP would be able to cloth his children for very little money at Goodwill. To afford his caribbean vacation or 5 day cruise or fancy car, or maybe all of them. He would have to take the average budget (about $700) and basically take it down to less than $100 a year. That would still price him out of even the decent thrift stores.

That being said, if you have to clothe you child at Goodwill so be it, parents have to do the best they can by their kids. But the average american is not buying the majority of their clothes at Goodwill, certainly not when the typical family spends nearly $700 on each child's clothing. Which goes up btw, quite a bit in middle and high school.
The Percent of Income to Budget for Clothes - Budgeting Money

It is an unfortunately reality that kids who always wear out of date, poor quality clothes, are more likely to be targeted for bullying, particularly if they are not dressing in a similar level of quality as their peers. Particularly once they hit middle school.

Now that being said, my kids have shopped for themselves since they were preteens, and frequently chose consignment shops, but the reality is they saved us nothing on our clothing budget, it just allowed them to dress "up" from what they would otherwise be able to afford.

As an aside, with regard to consumerism, clothing is just not the "planet saving" option you seem to imply it is. The clothes that go to goodwill, are just not the clothes that are going to end up in a landfill. If anything, when they hang out too long at goodwill, they typically get donated to very poor people or shipped to places they are truly needed like third world countries. If you really want to make a difference on natural resources, support companies that make clothing locally, a far more effective way to preserve resources.
Maybe it's different where you live but I find a ton of barely used, stylish, high quality name brand clothing at thrift stores. It's presumptuous to make blanket judgments about second hand clothing and the families who buy them as the quality and product varies greatly from one item to the next.
 
Old 08-17-2014, 12:53 PM
 
15,762 posts, read 13,191,044 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MissTerri View Post
Maybe it's different where you live but I find a ton of barely used, stylish, high quality name brand clothing at thrift stores. It's presumptuous to make blanket judgments about second hand clothing and the families who buy them as the quality and product varies greatly from one item to the next.
I did differentiate between goodwill and more upscale consignment shops. Perhaps it is regional, so I will talk specifically about the Goodwills I have seen. Here in NJ, NY (even the one in NYC upper west side, not so nice), Mass, Maryland, Florida, California and New Mexico.

I will say I have been to more than my fair share of thrift stores because I have a large extended family in the Philippines. I go several times a year, to multiple stores, fill up several cardboard boxes with clothes, and send them back. When I visit new cities, I frequently go to the local Goodwill, and other thrift stores to send off some gear. So please, would you care to share what city has such nice items at Goodwill? Given their price point, I would love to send some stuff back for the family. Might even be worth a trip of its own.
 
Old 08-17-2014, 12:57 PM
 
8,546 posts, read 5,271,345 times
Reputation: 9115
Quote:
Originally Posted by lkb0714 View Post
I did differentiate between goodwill and more upscale consignment shops. Perhaps it is regional, so I will talk specifically about the Goodwills I have seen. Here in NJ, NY (even the one in NYC upper west side, not so nice), Mass, Maryland, Florida, California and New Mexico.

I will say I have been to more than my fair share of thrift stores because I have a large extended family in the Philippines. I go several times a year, to multiple stores, fill up several cardboard boxes with clothes, and send them back. When I visit new cities, I frequently go to the local Goodwill, and other thrift stores to send off some gear. So please, would you care to share what city has such nice items at Goodwill? Given their price point, I would love to send some stuff back for the family. Might even be worth a trip of its own.
I am talking about thrift stores, not consignment shops. And I'm not interested in providing a city name considering the insincere tone of your post.
 
Old 08-17-2014, 12:59 PM
 
15,304 posts, read 16,863,154 times
Reputation: 15028
Quote:
Originally Posted by lkb0714 View Post
I did differentiate between goodwill and more upscale consignment shops. Perhaps it is regional, so I will talk specifically about the Goodwills I have seen. Here in NJ, NY (even the one in NYC upper west side, not so nice), Mass, Maryland, Florida, California and New Mexico.

I will say I have been to more than my fair share of thrift stores because I have a large extended family in the Philippines. I go several times a year, to multiple stores, fill up several cardboard boxes with clothes, and send them back. When I visit new cities, I frequently go to the local Goodwill, and other thrift stores to send off some gear. So please, would you care to share what city has such nice items at Goodwill? Given their price point, I would love to send some stuff back for the family. Might even be worth a trip of its own.
Most Goodwill and Salvation Army Stores have *some* really nice stuff. The problem is that you need to dig through a lot of older clothing that is in less than pristine condition to get to it.

Some of the stores sort by size and place things on racks, other stores may have things piled up which makes it harder to find the good things.

When she was in high school, my daughter shopped at Salvation Army in Evanston, IL and had lots of nice clothing. She also shopped at more upscale consignment shops.
 
Old 08-17-2014, 01:01 PM
 
8,546 posts, read 5,271,345 times
Reputation: 9115
Quote:
Originally Posted by nana053 View Post
Most Goodwill and Salvation Army Stores have *some* really nice stuff. The problem is that you need to dig through a lot of older clothing that is in less than pristine condition to get to it.

Some of the stores sort by size and place things on racks, other stores may have things piled up which makes it harder to find the good things.

When she was in high school, my daughter shopped at Salvation Army in Evanston, IL and had lots of nice clothing. She also shopped at more upscale consignment shops.
Most of them do it this way. I've only seen one thrift store leave things in piles (Goodwill Outlet Stores which are not the same as regular Goodwill stores).
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