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Old 01-08-2008, 03:01 PM
 
Location: Twilight Zone
875 posts, read 759,249 times
Reputation: 69

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ibginnie View Post
your son?



From where did you glean this? Sorry I read it as her son who is in preschool has just turned 5.
The way the sentenced is worded, led me to believe there was a sibling........sorry if I misinterpreted the OP. I considered 5 to be kindergarten age.
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Old 01-08-2008, 04:48 PM
 
Location: NJ
9,173 posts, read 20,201,974 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ladysrodgers View Post
The way the sentenced is worded, led me to believe there was a sibling........sorry if I misinterpreted the OP. I considered 5 to be kindergarten age.

I think he's 5 now but in pre-school. His birthday must have been right after the cut off date so he doesn't start kindergarten until September 2008.
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Old 01-08-2008, 09:33 PM
 
Location: Twilight Zone
875 posts, read 759,249 times
Reputation: 69
I would also make sure no one at the pre-school is acting abnormally - as in adults.
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Old 07-21-2008, 09:00 PM
 
1 posts, read 4,440 times
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Default My son had similar experience

I was shocked today when a distressed call from our Nanny gave me the moment by moment detail of how she walked into my son's bedroom, after approx 10 minutes to find him and her 4 year old grandaughter both with their pants down. She makes it a point to not to leave them alone for an extended time, which previously I would have thought excessive. I literally almost fainted and am beside myself and completly confused about the situation and why this is happening - my son is 6. We are an open family and have always had an open relationship witho ur children. This is a complete shock and i am horrified - i sympathize with singlemom12345.
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Old 07-21-2008, 09:51 PM
 
314 posts, read 904,709 times
Reputation: 153
kids start trying to do sexual activities at like 4. Its natural and setup so by the time they reach 12-13 they will naturally know how to have full sex. the more we shelter it and make things like the word "butt' or someones butt inappropriate the more they are going to want to do it. The butt isn't even a sexual organ.

People should just talk to their kids straight up about what they shouldn't be doing and why instead of the whole pretending it doesn't exist tactic. Also note that there has been a five year old mother and 8 year old father. Thats shocking to me.
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Old 07-22-2008, 01:08 AM
 
Location: in my mind
2,745 posts, read 12,852,605 times
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I don't think kids are trying to "do sexual activities" per se, but they ARE naturally curious about the differences between male and female genitalia, and there are GREAT books geared towards younger kids that greatly help satisfy their questions.

I think the worst thing you can do is to "freak out" at a natural exploration and drive behavior underground and pass on feelings of shame about their bodies and their curiosity

Of course, that is all assuming that the kids are close in age, and that the behavior is consensual between the kids. I don't think you should ignore it, just treat it matter of factly.

If there is an element of coercion, repeated or hyper focus on sex and genitals, a greater age gap, and ANY other sign of behavior problems (no matter how unrelated or insignificant they may seem) then it's time to look more broadly at the issue.

Many children DO act out sexually because someone has touched them inappropriately but other times the acting out shows up in other ways that seem unrelated. Also, if any of the kids involved is upset by it or felt bullied, then you have a different situation on your hands, regardless of intent... the one who comes away from "playing doctor" feeling victimized needs to be understood and heard and perhaps professionally counseled.

My experience in this is coming from someone who was a "normal" kid playing doctor as well as an abuse victim at the hands of an adult and a teen. My own son was sexually molested by a child five years older, and his reaction to the incident made it clear it was NOT just 'playing doctor'. Before he told us what had happened there was a sudden problem with odd behavior at school and general him just not being "himself".

So there's a fine line... don't freak out over normal stuff but keep your eyes open and listen to what your child is telling you (whether they say it outright or not).
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Old 07-22-2008, 10:21 AM
 
15,187 posts, read 16,039,895 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by boymom6 View Post
I was shocked today when a distressed call from our Nanny gave me the moment by moment detail of how she walked into my son's bedroom, after approx 10 minutes to find him and her 4 year old grandaughter both with their pants down. She makes it a point to not to leave them alone for an extended time, which previously I would have thought excessive. I literally almost fainted and am beside myself and completly confused about the situation and why this is happening - my son is 6. We are an open family and have always had an open relationship witho ur children. This is a complete shock and i am horrified - i sympathize with singlemom12345.
I'm not sure why you're shocked and horrified. Were they just looking at each other, or were they touching in some way or acting out sexually?

If they were just looking at each other, take a deep breath and relax. They were probably just comparing parts. No big deal. Take it as an opportunity to talk to your son about private parts and what's acceptable touching and what's not, etc.

If they were acting out sexually, you may way want to gently inquire about what was going on, had he seen someone do that before, or had anyone talked to him about that, etc. And the nanny should ask the same questions of her granddaughter. But otherwise, don't fret. Just sounds like curiosity.
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Old 07-22-2008, 11:57 AM
 
Location: FLORIDA!!!!
657 posts, read 1,603,758 times
Reputation: 237
my daughter is 6 and has "discovered" herself. i used to babysit a little one that used to lay on the floor and put his hands there and worm all around. but he hid when he did it. his mom warned me and said just ignore him.. ive been told its a thing kids go through and they are just curious. but with my child it does freak me out a bit.. she actually got irritated and i saw a little pinkish in her underwear. i talked with her about not doing that and that her hands were dirty and she could get an infection. i still noticed her underwear. i told her we needed to go see the dr if she got an infection. it has now seemed to stop. i hope the self discovery is over.
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Old 07-24-2008, 08:52 AM
 
1,867 posts, read 3,598,380 times
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What would bother me is that I am specifically telling my child NOT to do something and he keeps doing it. Does he listen generally to other things you tell him? I would be very upset that he would keep doing something that has caused such a big ruccus and which he knows he is simply not supposed to do. Has he been punished for his actions? I would also worry about him being touched, but I probably know nothing about kids at this age cuz my baby is only 2.
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Old 07-24-2008, 12:22 PM
 
Location: Kansas
3,855 posts, read 11,461,611 times
Reputation: 1706
yeah kids that age are curious about their bodies.

My daughter (4) was changing clothes one day and pointed to her hoo-ha and asked me what it was. My wife was standing there and thought it was extremely comical. She calls it her 'butt' but it's in the front.....soooo.....Anyway I just said I had no idea and deferred her to her mom to explain it.
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