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Old 08-15-2014, 09:06 PM
 
Location: Wisconsin
16,507 posts, read 15,977,386 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Wmsn4Life View Post
I would cut out the dance class and keep her in preschool and speech therapy.

Also, some of her more violent behavior is NOT typical 3-year-old stuff. I would focus on stopping that ASAP.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Wmsn4Life View Post
Well, these are your words:

"I have a very demanding 3 year old and a 9 month old. It took months to get in the swing of handling both of them since I stay at home, but even now, our 3 year old is still extremely jealous of her sister. I spend most of the day if we are home acting like a referee (sp) since she yanks things from her hands, has hit her, tells her she doesn't like her, (along with me about 100 times a day) and other 3 year old crap lol"

These things are NOT typical.

To me, she needs more time in a structured environment, and you need time with the baby.

Apply the $$ you spend on the dance class toward speech therapy and see if you can quit the part-time job.
I agree that those things are not typical behavior.

Ask your speech therapist if she feels that your daughter may be eligible for early childhood special education classes. In my state, if the child's speech needs are severe or the child has other needs, such as behavior problems, they may be eligible for public school early childhood classroom services.

Most school districts provide four half day classes per week including free transportation to your home or day care center including whatever therapy that the child is eligible to receive. The class sizes are quite small, usually one teacher and one aide for five to six children (maximum eight children for two adults). Sometimes there is also a full time speech therapist right in the classroom (and that means three adults for five or six children or eight children).

This may be wonderful in your situation. Your daughter would learn appropriate behavior, preschool academic skills, have speech therapy, plus interact with other children AND it would be free, including transportation to and from school (at least that is how it works in many states).

You can go directly to your local elementary school and ask about their Early Childhood Special Education Program. A parent can refer their own child for assessment just make sure that it is in writing and is dated by the person who takes the request for evaluation for special educational services (ask them to make a photocopy of your request that shows the date). Most states must complete the evaluation within 90 days.
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Old 08-15-2014, 09:12 PM
 
Location: NY to NJ
645 posts, read 775,995 times
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She doesn't qualify or need Special Ed preschool. You have to have an actual diagnosis, like Autism, ADHD, have severe delays to qualify for that. Jealousy of a sibling isn't one of them lol...She had a full assessment to just qualify for speech, which is all she qualifies for.
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Old 08-15-2014, 09:20 PM
 
43,012 posts, read 89,100,171 times
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Keep her in preschool and speech therapy. These two things are important to her speech development according to her therapist. Do dance if you can afford that too, but it's the lowest priority of the three, and should be the first thing cut if cuts need to be made for financial reasons.

You're saying your biggest problem with preschool and speech therapy is your new work schedule. Preschool will make two hectic mornings per week before you go to work, and speech therapy is scheduled for while you will be scheduled to work.

For speech therapy, you'll need to arrange your work schedule to make it work. You could ask your new employer if you can be off in the afternoon the day of her speech therapy. (I wouldn't tell the employer the specific reason you need that particular day scheduled off.) If that doesn't work, I'd try to find a different part-time job. Another possibility is your babysitter taking her to her speech therapy appointment. No matter what, you need to find a way to make this speech therapy work.

For preschool, you need to suck up a two hectic mornings a week because being in preschool and around other kids her age is important to her development according to her therapist.
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Old 08-15-2014, 09:26 PM
 
Location: Wisconsin
16,507 posts, read 15,977,386 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Me 82 View Post
She doesn't qualify or need Special Ed preschool. You have to have an actual diagnosis, like Autism, ADHD, have severe delays to qualify for that. Jealousy of a sibling isn't one of them lol...She had a full assessment to just qualify for speech, which is all she qualifies for.
Frankly, your three year olds behavior sounds more severe than just "jealousy of a sibling" (but of course, I don't have all of the details). But, states are different. In my state, you do not have to have a medical diagnosis and in some situations having a fairly mild but diagnosed speech & language delay may qualify you for classroom services.

In fact, in my state, we have free classroom programs for children with speech and language delays starting with 18 month olds (usually these are combined with home teaching and home speech & language therapy). But, not all states provide those services and it appears from your comments, that NY does not provide those services.
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Old 08-15-2014, 09:31 PM
 
Location: Wisconsin
16,507 posts, read 15,977,386 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Hopes View Post
Keep her in preschool and speech therapy. These two things are important to her speech development according to her therapist. Do dance if you can afford that too, but it's the lowest priority of the three, and should be the first thing cut if cuts need to be made for financial reasons.

You're saying your biggest problem with preschool and speech therapy is your new work schedule. Preschool will make two hectic mornings per week before you go to work, and speech therapy is scheduled for while you will be scheduled to work.

For speech therapy, you'll need to arrange your work schedule to make it work. You could ask your new employer if you can be off in the afternoon the day of her speech therapy. (I wouldn't tell the employer the specific reason you need that particular day scheduled off.) If that doesn't work, I'd try to find a different part-time job. Another possibility is your babysitter taking her to her speech therapy appointment. No matter what, you need to find a way to make this speech therapy work.

For preschool, you need to suck up a two hectic mornings a week because being in preschool and around other kids her age is important to her development according to her therapist.
I agree with Hopes.
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Old 08-15-2014, 10:26 PM
 
2,321 posts, read 2,366,486 times
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I'd definitely keep her in speech therapy.

As an FYI, my older sister and I are the same age difference. I've been told many times that she hated me from the moment I was born because she didn't want to have to share anything about her life with a younger sister. She thought she could boss me around from the time I was born, etc. We have NEVER been close and I have no relationship with her as an adult. I'd try to work on that relationship if I was you..
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Old 08-15-2014, 11:14 PM
 
Location: here
24,477 posts, read 28,782,510 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Me 82 View Post
I have a very demanding 3 year old and a 9 month old. It took months to get in the swing of handling both of them since I stay at home, but even now, our 3 year old is still extremely jealous of her sister. I spend most of the day if we are home acting like a referee (sp) since she yanks things from her hands, has poked her hard, tells her she doesn't like her, (along with me about 100 times a day) and other 3 year old crap lol. The next minute she is patting her back telling her "I love you big sister.Believe me, she gets plenty of attention and knows she's loved, but I also have a baby to take care of too. She's been home with me since she was born and isn't watched by anyone other then me or my husband. My mother would watch her here or there as a baby, but hasn't in a long time.

So, my husband and I had originally not planned on sending her to preschool at 3, considering I went to school to teach and I'm home with her. We were going to wait until she was 4 to go to a free universal pre-k that is offered in my state. She has a speech delay, talks up a storm, but is very unclear. Except I understand her perfectly bc I'm with always with her. She started getting speech through our state preschool system in April. We don't have to pay for this which is a lifesaver since our insurance doesn't cover speech services and we can't afford $100 a week out of pocket. Her therapist, who I love and DD has become very attached to (and she can get shy and take a while to warm up to some people), suggested that if we could, sending her to preschool may help her with her speech. That is being around kids on a routine basis. So, I talked to DH about it, we found the cheapest, closest pre-school we could, and enrolled her in a 2 day a week 2 1/2 hour program. We go to story times since she was a baby, the park, so I try to get her around other kids. But, she doesn't have friends her age, which I sort of feel bad about, since thanks to FB it's all about "playdates" these days, and we don't have friends with kids her age.

So things have changed, DH had to take a 2nd job to continue have me staying home bc his overtime got cut and he expressed some concern that the $140 a month might be stretching it. He wanted to just pull her out. I did the budgeting and we can afford it, but now I got a part time job that starts in September so he could quit his 2nd job. The hours I will be working cause a conflict with her speech therapy time though. I spoke to her therapist who said she would work with me to fit her in somehow, but as of now, she can only fit her in during the time she would be at pre-school. She said we could wait and see if she can change around the times with new kids that may come in. Though, I'm going to bet that's no guarantee Of course, her getting speech is really important to us, so just cutting it out isn't an option. And I really don't want to switch therapists considering DD loves her and her speech has improved.

So, we could attempt to switch her days with the preschool, if they let us. Meaning Monday-Thursday I would have a ton of running around to do, all before I have to leave for work in the afternoon. There's a drop off at 9.am, a pick up, to get home quick to feed 2 kids, hopefully get the baby down for a nap, wait for a sitter then run to work. Of course, I would have 2 hours with just me and the baby, which I don't get with older DD home.

I'm just feeling a tiny bit bad about sending her off to school now, since I won't be home with her the full day, she's going to be left with a complete stranger, she's starting pre-school (her first time away from us), she's starting a new dance class (on Saturdays), re-starting speech, all in the same month. I don't know if it will all be "too much" for her I guess. Dh thinks we should either pull her or let her go a month, which makes no sense, then pull her. And for us, sending her this year was only so hopefully she would improve on her speech and maybe make some friends. Not bc I think she won't get into Harvard bc she didn't go to play school lol. She'll be in Pre-K next year too.

So, would you just suck it up, switch the days and send her. Or do you think it might be too much right now, for her and I? While I would like her to make friends, and for me to make friends with the other parents, not sure if all the running around is worth it. And maybe with just speech therapy alone she'll be fine.

We already paid a registration fee, Septembers tuiton and June tuition, so I would hate to be out all this money, though we could call and try to get some back.

What would you do?
IMO, the bolded is why you are here asking.

You have a lot going on. Hold off on the dance lessons. There is plenty of time for that. Concentrate on the speech. I think you can fit preschool in. These are hectic years with lots of running around, but they are short. People's schedules are always changing. I bet you'll get a spot in speech therapy before long. If not, I'd stick with therapy and wait on preschool.
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Old 08-16-2014, 12:34 AM
 
Location: Purgatory
6,317 posts, read 4,451,124 times
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Like everyone else here, i think you should keep her in school to work on her social skills. She can't do this at home to the degree she can at school. And as your post seems to imply, she needs it.
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Old 08-16-2014, 09:51 AM
 
506 posts, read 249,067 times
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The three year old says "I love you, big sister"? Does she know what "big" means?
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Old 08-16-2014, 02:40 PM
 
Location: here
24,477 posts, read 28,782,510 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by tisnjh View Post
The three year old says "I love you, big sister"? Does she know what "big" means?
I was wondering about that too.
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