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I would have just pointed at what he was looking at and asked "Is that for an a$$hole?" Sometimes you just have to give it right back to them and go on about your business.
Hey I think I know where you went! Is it a hobby store with a name like a type of candy?
If it is I had a similar experience when I went in to shop for a rc car for my son. Although everyone was helpful, it was surly a boys club in there. I happily played the dumb girl (it got me a discount and I do it for fun in those situations anyways) but wont go back. I make my husband take him if he needs repairs or parts. Cause even though I find it funny, I also find it offensive and uncomfortable.
Why would you play dumb?
Was the discount really worth it?
Sorry Mom. This is next to nothing as to what could happen. You handled it as you saw fit. it is good that it happened under your care so you could show her how to face ANY unpleasant situations as she grows. Bottomline, people can be stupid and it is good to face it early with Mom and Dad to give you support than later. And it doesn't have to be about misogyny. Life is hard.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Meyerland
So,My daughter has avoided exposure to misogyny for ten whole years. We had an encounter with a stranger that bothered her and opened her eyes to the fact that some people discriminate against girls/women.
I know the probably 90-95% of guys are great and treat women with respect. The few that don't really make me sad.
We went to a model shop to look at the trains,planes, and other kits. We picked out a kit for her to put together and went to check out. The staff could not have been more helpful.
Another older customer asked very loudly if the kit was for my daughter. He said, "that's for a girl?!"
I just looked at him and he went off on a rant about women being pilots, going into the military, etc...
All of this in front of my daughter. So I told her to go outside to the car where her dad was waiting. I just gave him a look and then he whispers to me that he told his own daughter she could be whatever she wanted to be when she grew up.
So he loudly demeans women and then quietly gives a more positive message.
Afterwards,she asked me if he was joking and I had to explain that not everyone in the world thinks men and women are equal. I said that we were lucky in that it is not that many people who think that way, and we live our lives the way we choose too.
As a White, early middle-aged male, I am still taken aback when I hear a misogynistic comment. For what it is worth, I have very rarely heard explicitly racist comments in the company of other men, but the occasional misogynistic comment does come out. Usually from minorities, ironically (I guess it's ironic? I am often told it is White males who are the bad ones...)
Anyway, I hate hearing bigotry from anyone against anyone. A joke in poor taste is one thing, but when you can hear the belief in some bigoted statement in someone's voice it actually makes my skin crawl.
I don't believe in overt confrontation, but I would have said something like, "Yes its for my daughter, why wouldn't it be?" I find forcing someone to confront reason works better than cursing them out. Plus most people are cowards and will back down.
Sorry Mom. This is next to nothing as to what could happen. You handled it as you saw fit. it is good that it happened under your care so you could show her how to face ANY unpleasant situations as she grows. Bottomline, people can be stupid and it is good to face it early with Mom and Dad to give you support than later. And it doesn't have to be about misogyny. Life is hard.
I disagree so very much.
Pre-teen girls are at an age when their self confidence is plummeting anyway. How they look, how they dress, how smart they are (or pretending not to be) are all contributing to that decline. Misogyny is just another assault one pre-teen girls and might be the straw for the proverbial camels back.
I've got 3 girls and they've all been raised to be confident about their choices, preferences and priorities no matter what others may think or say and stand up for things they feel need to be addressed.
Even at 10 I feel they would have replied directly to someone making that comment something along the lines "Of course it's for me, why?" They would be curious as to why someone would think that, then hearing an ignorant reply that it's because they were a 'girl' they would have dismissed the person as being ridiculous and not given it another thought.
So, to me, if I were you I would work more on guiding your daughter to be confident in her own ways so that it becomes natural for her to not give those kinds of comments any merit at all. Then add in enough confidence to stand up for what she feels she should.
All my kids (3 girls 1 boy) have a tendency to jerk up one eye brow really high when people make ignorant comments......that's just the way we roll. lol
Exactly. Teach your daughter that she can accomplish whatever she wants to apply her talents to. The only thing that matters is that she believes in herself and does not need to seek external validation from other people whether they are friends and family or strangers.
I actually think you are putting too much importance on the situation.
I also think its a little odd that you would think this is the first time she has observed behavior like this by the age of 10. Even if she hasn't, why would you want to shelter her from actual history which is that in the past and still women sometimes face discrimination. Not saying you need to be discussing it all the time, but avoiding it seems weird to me.
I for one think people should not be going around pronouncing their insolent judgement on people they don't even know, when I was a kid I knew girls that were just one of the guys, were into model cars and some even played in our pick up football games. This guy must have been really old if he thought that in this day and age we should pigeon hole gender roles.
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It broke my heart.
