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Old 08-18-2014, 12:47 PM
 
480 posts, read 452,715 times
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There is a lot of societal pressure to be a tiger mom. The one who insists on piano lessons promptly at age 5, the one who drives her kids to enroll in activities, do community service, the one who ensures that her kids might have a shot at an Ivy League education. I think part of all of us would like kids who have a list of activities, interests, hobbies, skills worth bragging about to coworkers.

But let's switch gears and discuss the Beta parents. The one who insists on instilling good values in her children. Their children are respectful, kind, and good spirited. But they are not involved in every sport, every book club. They don't take music lessons or engage in extra curricular education in elementary school. While college bound, they certainly are unlikely to attend an Ivy league school. Rather, they are likely to attend a in-state university.

Do you think there are benefits to children who are raised by beta parents?

I think so. I think that one of the big benefits is they are being raised a sustainable lifestyle that they can replicate without much difficulty - while the tiger mom provides them a lifestyle that might be hard to replicate.

Or, perhaps there aren't much benefits and the beta parents kids are doomed in life?
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Old 08-18-2014, 12:52 PM
 
Location: New York NY
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Every truly good parent is a mix of being what you call the Beta Mom (or Dad) and the Tiger Mom. The trick is knowing which times to be which. Good parents can figure it out. Maybe not perfectly, but more times than not they can tell with each kid when to be laid-back and when to turn up the heat.
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Old 08-18-2014, 01:16 PM
 
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I guess I'm a beta mom. I think the primary benefit would be sound mental health and a sense of self for the child.
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Old 08-18-2014, 01:32 PM
 
32,538 posts, read 29,340,215 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by tiredtired View Post

But let's switch gears and discuss the Beta parents. The one who insists on instilling good values in her children.
Ummm... Tiger Moms don't?

News to me.
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Old 08-18-2014, 01:35 PM
 
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I think most parents are neither betas or tigers, but somewhere in between.
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Old 08-18-2014, 01:37 PM
 
480 posts, read 452,715 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DewDropInn View Post
Ummm... Tiger Moms don't?

News to me.
Not wanting to get argumentative in this thread.

Tiger moms also instill good values, etc in their kids. I was trying to differentiate beta from a third type of parent who don't bother to instill values in their kids, but the third kind of moms are not part of this topic.
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Old 08-18-2014, 01:49 PM
 
12,915 posts, read 19,798,895 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by tiredtired View Post
There is a lot of societal pressure to be a tiger mom. The one who insists on piano lessons promptly at age 5, the one who drives her kids to enroll in activities, do community service, the one who ensures that her kids might have a shot at an Ivy League education. I think part of all of us would like kids who have a list of activities, interests, hobbies, skills worth bragging about to coworkers.

But let's switch gears and discuss the Beta parents. The one who insists on instilling good values in her children. Their children are respectful, kind, and good spirited. But they are not involved in every sport, every book club. They don't take music lessons or engage in extra curricular education in elementary school. While college bound, they certainly are unlikely to attend an Ivy league school. Rather, they are likely to attend a in-state university.

Do you think there are benefits to children who are raised by beta parents?

I think so. I think that one of the big benefits is they are being raised a sustainable lifestyle that they can replicate without much difficulty - while the tiger mom provides them a lifestyle that might be hard to replicate.

Or, perhaps there aren't much benefits and the beta parents kids are doomed in life?
Well, there are benefits to the parents, for certain. Our state universities are highly regarded, and difficult to get into. But, we also have a scholarship program, and for capable students, it's a wonderful deal. Our youngest was tuition free for 4 years.

I'm definitely more Beta than Tiger. But, at least one of my offspring is more Tiger than his parents. I think it's a child's personality type, as much as societal pressure on the parents. In fact, I don't give a hoot for societal pressure. Somehow, my kids are still achievement oriented. I wonder if they would be were it I putting the pressure on them. As it is, the pressure is internal, from them.
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Old 08-18-2014, 01:52 PM
 
550 posts, read 751,430 times
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From a dad's perspective:

I agree that we are probably incorporating both Tiger and Beta parenting techniques, but in our case, I think that we are much more Tiger with our first child (daughter) and much more Beta with our second (son). Trying to figure out if this is related to the second-kid syndrome or the fact that our second always just required less maintenance.
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Old 08-18-2014, 01:56 PM
 
5,413 posts, read 4,818,147 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DewDropInn View Post
Ummm... Tiger Moms don't?

News to me.
Many dont....it's win at all costs and who cares who you hurt in your race to be number one.
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Old 08-18-2014, 02:00 PM
 
Location: The analog world
15,629 posts, read 8,749,121 times
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I'm too old to put myself in a box.
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