Am I right to pick this battle? (children, 7 year old, learn)

[pirate girl]

If he's not in a private school, however- and he's not doing anything radical like dying his hair outrageous colors, the school has no right to dictate length of hair.

I know of several kids that age who like the skater/surfer haircuts. It's really no different than when spiked hair was all the rage- the little kids want to do what the big kids do. And there's no harm in long hair.

[FarNorthDallas]

I agree there is no harm in long hair, but if you lose the hair battle at 7, what battles are you going to lose at 14?

[Padgett2]

I have no problem with longer hair either. UNLESS, it's dirty. Make sure that he understands that if he wants it long, he keeps it clean and no fussing about shampoos. That goes for the older one too.

It has to be kept out of the face too. You should be able to trim the "bangs" or whatever from out of his eyes your self. Just a snip or two from time to time. No dragging him to the barber.

For your own peace of mind, how are the rest of the boys in his class at school? Do they all have short cuts? In my mind, a short cut that badly needs a trim is worse than a longer cut that is well kept.

[mommabear2]

Originally Posted by lisak64

Fighting over? He's 7, not 17. What if he wants a tattoo at 9? Or his head shaved at 11? I think we're losing sight of how young 7 is. He's trying to emulate a brother who is 5 years older than him. It's sweet that he wants to be like his brother, but some of the things he wants to mimic can come in time. We all have to wait for things in life. We all don't get what we want when we want it. This builds character and life lessons.

It's only hair. Not everything has to have a life lesson attached to it.

BTW, my mother used to chop my hair as a kid when I told her I wanted long hair. I hated it. It taught me nothing.

[Twinkle Toes]

Didn't read all the posts, sorry.

I would not pick this as a battle. I would tell all these other people to take a hike. It's his hair, so let him wear it how he likes it. He's the younger guy looking up to his cooler big brother! Nothing wrong with that, unless big brother was a junkie.

I also have two boys - the older one with straight hair and the younger one with curly hair. The older one (he's 22) likes to keep his hair cut short because he's a jock. The younger one (13) fancies himself a skater and wants to have longer hair. Just for fun one day I asked him to let me use my straightener on his hair. He loved it and it was actually a really good look for him, I must admit. So now, if I have time in the mornings before he goes to school I will straighten his hair for him. Now he has two completely different looks.

Let your youngest emulate the older boy. My young one used to do exactly what the older one did. If the older one got a haircut, the younger one wanted his hair cut too. if the older one spiked his up with gel, the younder one wanted to do the spiked thing with the gel too. Eventually they sort of grow out of wanting to do things exactly the same.

[Chinolala]

I agree with FarNorthDallas. If you lose this battle at 7, what battles are you going to lose at 14? Mommabear has some good points too. It is just hair. And many of us had haircuts when we were 7 that we may have not liked. But the message was, that we were children and our parents made decisions on our behalf that they thought were best for us at the time. Perhaps in this case, it's best to let Z grow his hair long. Or maybe it's best for the parent to keep his hair short. I don't know what's best for Z. I agree that not everything has to be life lesson. But parents do need to hold ground on what they're opposed to or supportive of and not allow children to manipulate them or wear them down. I'm not saying this is the case with Z. Good parents could easily disagree on this hair length decision. Z's mom seems like a caring parent and knows her son and his situation best. I'm happy that she came to a decision. Some of us will have to agree to disagree.

[wanderintonc]

Originally Posted by FarNorthDallas

I agree there is no harm in long hair, but if you lose the hair battle at 7, what battles are you going to lose at 14?

It's not a matter of a 'battle'. It's not a battle in my house. My older son, who is 15, has grown his hair out too, and he's an honor roll student-as well as the president of his class at school. If you think I lost a 'battle' well...I'll take the losses

[jwb123]

Originally Posted by FarNorthDallas

I agree there is no harm in long hair, but if you lose the hair battle at 7, what battles are you going to lose at 14?

I think the point is, at least for me, WHY should hair BE a battle in the first place?

[jwb123]

Originally Posted by lisak64
Fighting over? He's 7, not 17. What if he wants a tattoo at 9? Or his head shaved at 11? I think we're losing sight of how young 7 is. He's trying to emulate a brother who is 5 years older than him. It's sweet that he wants to be like his brother, but some of the things he wants to mimic can come in time. We all have to wait for things in life. We all don't get what we want when we want it. This builds character and life lessons.

Are you kidding me?? Life lessons with a hair cut?? We are talking a longer length - not dyed pink, or shaved into stripes.

I have to ask - what age are your children?

[FarNorthDallas]

Originally Posted by Jenbar

I think the point is, at least for me, WHY should hair BE a battle in the first place?

The OP presented it as a battle.

ETA - when a parent presents something as a battle I assume there is some resistance from the child. The SCHOOL is telling the parent to cut the hair. To me, that counts for something. To me the OP is saying the school says the hair is a distraction but she doesn't want to fight the child about cutting it, which means it's a battle situation. But in this case the child is SEVEN years old. He's not a teenager who gets more freedom.

I have an ADHD child and when he was in public school I did not give the school any more ammunition against my child than necessary.