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I agree with the post above me and I think that Drouzin offered great advice. Let him express himself through his hair, as long as it's not distracting to him (getting in his face, etc). It's just hair, and I think 7 is a great age to start giving a bit more individuality and responsibility for decisions such as this.
I think 7 is too young for him to decide on how he wants his hair. You mentioned that you're working on his behavior at school and having him complete his school work. If he needs improvement in these two areas, then his growing his hair should be part of "the battle". He's too young to make some decisions for himself. He's not too young to learn how to reach goals and understand the consequences of his choices. If he wants to grow his hair badly, perhaps he can be rewarded with that upon his behavior at school and his final report card in June? It may be a good motivator for him and imagine the pride he'll feel if he does better and "earns" the long hair. I'm all for children being able to have their own identity, but at an older age and if they're as focused on their identity as they are other important things such as school, for instance. The middle school and high school years seem to be the most common time when kids want to establish an identity of their own, become more independent, etc. At 7, he's still a baby...and a cute one at that! Cute kids!
If he can take care of it himself then I'd let him grow it out if that's what he really wants. In the scheme of life it's not that big of a deal and not worth fighting over IMO.
If he can take care of it himself then I'd let him grow it out if that's what he really wants. In the scheme of life it's not that big of a deal and not worth fighting over IMO.
Fighting over? He's 7, not 17. What if he wants a tattoo at 9? Or his head shaved at 11? I think we're losing sight of how young 7 is. He's trying to emulate a brother who is 5 years older than him. It's sweet that he wants to be like his brother, but some of the things he wants to mimic can come in time. We all have to wait for things in life. We all don't get what we want when we want it. This builds character and life lessons.
Firstly, I decide how my daughter wears her hair. I am the parent, its just that simple. The rule is that if she can take care of it, she can have long hair. I would feel the same way if I had a boy. Keep it neat, combed and out of your face then you can grow it long.
However my daughter can't seem to do this so it doesn't grow long.
Having said that, I don't think its the schools business or anyone elses what you decide to do with your child.
Thank you for all of your support. I see that only 2 agreed with my in-laws...so if it's a majority rules case
For the lady who mentioned tatoos and head shaved....well, I wouldn't get the tatooo naturally as that is something permanent, there are some things that are considered priority...but head shaved...I remember when my brother was younger and the style was to have a "crew cut"...and that was basically a head shaved....
I know 7 is a baby, but as another poster put it...it's hair. I do have bigger fish to fry.
My 12 year old and I sometimes have a what-if game. And he has asked me in high school if he would br allowd to dye his hair black (he is very very blond), or have an earring. And I told him that if his grades remain good (honor roll), and he isn't in trouble...he can dye his hair purple and black striped for all I care...obviously he is a good kid. Would I hate it?? Absolutely!!!!!!!! But...he can't do these things when he's trying for colleges or jobs....so of course I would let him when it doesn't really matter. He said what about his eyebrow pierced? Honestly, if he's an honor roll student and good kid...go ahead. When I was younger I had my nose pierced, tongue pierced 4 holes in one ear....and I am a teacher today.
Now of course I do believe age limits...if Z asked for these things now...no, I would not let him.
Z is ADHD. We are constantly working on him. He receives consequences for his behavior in school and at home. We don't have to give too many consequences because we do have such a tight grip on him so that mis-behavior isn't too much of an issue. This is the first successful year in school- Kinder and first grade were awful with his behavior. Not academics...always been in the top 3- when he does the work. This year is the first year. I don't know if it's because of the teacher...or because he's on meds....but the firm grip (that we had the previous years) is working...he's made strides...and I really feel like with everything else we have a handle on...who cares about hair?
I have three sons (and two daughters). Of my boys, my oldest and the youngest have grown their hair out. They are 15 and 9 (the 11yo is a buzzcut guy). The 9yo, in particular, has really long hair.
I do not feel that hair is a disipline (or salvation, for my family) issue, so the only rules I have about it is, it must be clean and groomed (i.e. brushed) and the bangs must be trimmed so the eyes are visible. Other than that, I just don't have an issue with it.
I think 7 is old enough to choose to grow his hair out. In my experience, it is surely not worth fighting over. You know what is probably going to happen when it gets long is, someone will mistake him for a girl, and he'll be wanting a cut pronto! : )
Hair is temporary- whatever they do to it, it can be fixed somehow. I think the advice about behaving in school in order to keep his hair long is perfect and that's how I would approach the situation.
The school and your in laws have no business interfering in how your son's hair is cut.
Soooo, I take it you hair-is-for-the-child-to-decide camp don't have your kids in private school. My son's private school dictates length and color of students' hair (as well as jewelry worn, fingernail polish color, skirt length, etc). Parents must comply with the rules since attending this school is a priviledge. (It's a private school only for kids with learning disabilities and/or ADHD.) It's not a bad thing.
If the school is telling you his hair is hanging in his face and needs to be cut, I would cut it. Otherwise the school thinks the 7 year old child is in control of the parent.
My opinion would be a bit different if we were talking about a teen.
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