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Old 08-22-2014, 10:16 PM
 
12,944 posts, read 19,896,145 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Hopes View Post
He came to us at CD asking if it was a healthy solution. He didn't ask the experts.

Since you're nitpicking, he didn't ask where he could buy one.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mattie View Post

If a punching bag is deemed an acceptable outlet for the foster child, second hand sports stores such as Play It Again Sports frequently have them for sale.
It seems more helpful than the direction you're currently trying to take the thread.
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Old 08-22-2014, 10:22 PM
 
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Martial arts is a perfectly legitimate recommendation to the problem the OP presented.
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Old 08-22-2014, 10:49 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Hopes View Post
Martial arts is a perfectly legitimate recommendation to the problem the OP presented.
Yes Hopes, it is. He did not ask for advice on how to pay for it though.

Getting back to the OP, under the circumstances, it would be best to ask an expert in the field of youth aggression. IF an expert recommends a punching bag, then Play it Again Sports would be a great place to pick one up.

PAL programs have a long history of using boxing as a means to control aggression in kids.

Last edited by Mattie; 08-22-2014 at 11:38 PM.. Reason: Not sure if it's a teen or a child
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Old 08-22-2014, 11:58 PM
 
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Please get back to the OP's question...thanks.
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Old 08-23-2014, 12:30 AM
 
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1) Interesting question. Years ago there was an episode on Penn and Teller: Bull$h!t where they did a study about this. It showed that the people who punched pillows and what not stayed madder longer whereas the people who were left alone to just calm down felt better sooner. Having said that, our pediatrician just suggested the other day that my one son hit a pillow when he gets mad. I was a little surprised when he said that...

2) Peaceful parenting is the way to go. You instill boundaries, accountability, and consequences, but you do it through positive reinforcement. I cringe when I see parents talk about "punishment for misbehavior". The whole point of discipline is to GUIDE and TEACH. Punishment is an after effect. Punishment doesn't teach WHY we do or don't do certain things. Secondly, you are talking about being a foster parent. You have to know the histories those children are going to be coming from. Negative reinforcement/"punishments", are the LAST things I'd be doing. You are going to potentially have to help these children learn to be part of a family, to trust, to be loved, to behave correctly, and more...all things they may have never had before.

Please look into Peaceful Parenting. It is NOT permissive parenting meaning the children get to walk all over you. There are groups on Facebook that help guide parents in doing things...Dr. Momma.org, Peaceful Parenting: Toddlers and Beyond, Positive Parenting...I can't stress enough how important this will be for them and you.
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Old 08-23-2014, 06:00 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Hopes View Post
Karate classes. In addition to being a positive outlet for stress, Karate also teaches self discipline and respect for self and others.
This.
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Old 08-23-2014, 01:43 PM
 
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My 6yo neighbor was "prescribed" a punching bag by his OT for his feelings of frustration which were manifest as aggression. This was only a couple of years ago. I think that training people to psychologically associate feelings of anger with hitting by co-varying the stimulus is the wrong approach. But if someone is already being compelled to hit/punch by whatever particular emotion they are having then giving them a safe outlet for that compulsion while you teach them how to manage it is worthwhile.

A previous poster mentioned using a punching bag and getting amped up and then having to calm back down. I think that might be a description of a normal person approaching a punching bag for exercise, a distinctly different experience than what we are discussing.
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Old 09-02-2014, 09:02 AM
 
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Sadly, two boys I know in the neighborhood have anger and behavior issues. The parents signed them up for karate and Tai Kwon Do so they could learn self discipline and have an outlet. Neither one of those children are boys I like my children being around. It has done nothing to help either their behavior OR their anger and if anything makes me more concerned about my children hanging around with them because now I see them as potentially more dangerous should they get angry.
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Old 09-02-2014, 01:29 PM
 
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Something to consider is that foster children can be anywhere from very short term to long term and some will have behavioral issues while others will not. It is very hard to plan ahead of time for every single issue you may face.

So, will a punching bag be worth the investment and the space it will take up? Probably not unless you are one who uses it for exercise yourself.

Additionally, rules for foster children are different than your own children. You most definitely not be allowed to use physical punishment of any sort, for instance. You may or may not be allowed to even own something like a punching bag, so you need to ask your worker first.

Also, since you never know for sure how long a child will be with you, you need a plan to help them deal with aggression in the moment and the foster training system should be a good resource for that training. A child with severe issues that is only with you for a month won't be helped much waiting until a scheduled appointment for things like martial arts/karate. They need help right then. However, a child with minor issues that will be with you 6-12 months, might benefit from consistent sessions.

Some of the foster kids have a very real need to be angry and will indeed need to find an outlet. Those kinds of kids will typically only be placed with a family that has had the training and experience to handle them.
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Old 09-03-2014, 02:55 AM
 
Location: California
29,653 posts, read 32,074,232 times
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I wouldn't think so but I'm not a pro. I don't agree with the whole "karate" thing either, what HELPS is a strong adult that the child responds too. That could be you.

Your run of the mill karate-4-kids class isn't going to offer that, nor is it likely to turn a child into a weapon. It's just something to do that costs money.
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