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My husband and I are expecting our second baby in August and we are very excited. We have a 3 year old who would start JKG in September.
A lot of people tell me that its going to be 10 times harder with 2 kids and having a second one is playing a completely different ball game etc etc. After listening to all this, I am feeling very nervous.
Are there any tips that anyone can give me?
My parents will be here for 6 weeks to help me and the baby. I will be having a scheduled C-section and I think it will be so much helpful to have them around. I am taking 14 months off from work.
Any suggestions? I dont know where to even cut expenditure.
Everything is easier the second time around. I heard the same thing about two kids being ten times as much work, but it's not true. Taking care of the baby is easier, recovery from the C-section is easier, actually knowing what day you'll have the baby in advance is easier.
My kids have the same age difference...about 3 and a half years. The one thing I would suggest is to get some books for your 3 year old about being an older sibling, and make sure she knows that she will still be important to you once the baby is born. Take her shopping for a baby present, and buy her a little present from the baby (wrap it in wrapping paper and take it to the hospital with you, then when your family brings her to meet her new baby sibling, they can "exchange" gifts). That was a huge thing to my older daughter, she talked about the present the baby brought her for years, even though it was a very small gift.
Everything is easier the second time around. I heard the same thing about two kids being ten times as much work, but it's not true. Taking care of the baby is easier, recovery from the C-section is easier, actually knowing what day you'll have the baby in advance is easier.
My kids have the same age difference...about 3 and a half years. The one thing I would suggest is to get some books for your 3 year old about being an older sibling, and make sure she knows that she will still be important to you once the baby is born. Take her shopping for a baby present, and buy her a little present from the baby (wrap it in wrapping paper and take it to the hospital with you, then when your family brings her to meet her new baby sibling, they can "exchange" gifts). That was a huge thing to my older daughter, she talked about the present the baby brought her for years, even though it was a very small gift.
Thanks Hedgehod_Mom. Its such a relief to hear that it may actually be easier the second time around. As of now, my older one is fairly independent. I mean, she plays with her toys and all and dont rely completely on me to entertain her.
I already bought her 3 baby books and she has an idea about a baby, that it will be with us forever etc. She knows that she will be a big sister. I dont know if she completely understood the whole concept of a baby but we speak about it.
She gets very worried when I say she has to share her toys. But we are trying to tell how how much fun it will be and she can play when the baby is a little older.
Getting gifts for the baby and her is an excellent idea! thanks for sharing. I will surely buy it.
As such we have most of the toys saved from her baby days. I still have the crib, changing station, glider, baby bath tub...everything that a baby may need from the first one.
I am feeling more anxious about if I will be able to give attention to both kids. So far the first one had been the center of my world and with the second one at home, I am worried if I can spend quality time with both.
It's much easier the second time. The learning curve is steep with the first baby. The second time around, everything comes back to you PLUS you have the huge benefit of knowing from experience that even though things may be tough in the moment, they will come to an end. And sooner than you think.
I like to say that my first baby's first month seemed like a year, but the second baby's first year seemed like a month.
You will be able to give enough attention to both children. I spent a lot of time reading to my firstborn while feeding the second, things like that. I was fortunate in that she was happy and excited about the baby and thought it was fun to help. We still went out and did all the same things we'd been doing before, just with baby in tow. Of course once in a while we had to slow down because of the baby, which is actually great because it teaches the firstborn that s/he is not the center of the universe. Of course the second child never thinks that!
You are super lucky to have your parents to help for the first six weeks. I never had one bit of help, except for my sister coming for five days when I had the third baby. Even so, it was all doable.
You will be able to give enough attention to both children. I spent a lot of time reading to my firstborn while feeding the second, things like that. I was fortunate in that she was happy and excited about the baby and thought it was fun to help. We still went out and did all the same things we'd been doing before, just with baby in tow. Of course once in a while we had to slow down because of the baby, which is actually great because it teaches the firstborn that s/he is not the center of the universe. Of course the second child never thinks that!
You are super lucky to have your parents to help for the first six weeks. I never had one bit of help, except for my sister coming for five days when I had the third baby. Even so, it was all doable.
Thank you. Were you not feeling tired? With my first one, I was ALWAYS tired. Looking back, I hardly remember the first few months of the baby's life. At that time, I was resting when the baby was resting which I know is not going to be possible, now that I have another 3 year old to look after.
But like you said, I am going to hang on to the comfort of knowing that it gets better.
That first baby is in for a shock. No longer the center of attention, he'll resent the newcomer, big time...for life. Be prepared. I am against putting kids in school before 5 years old, but this may mitigate the problem because of, let's say, a timely distraction.
The second labor will be much quicker and easier, you realize. Don't fret. Just push.
That first baby is in for a shock. No longer the center of attention, he'll resent the newcomer, big time...for life. Be prepared. I am against putting kids in school before 5 years old, but this may mitigate the problem because of, let's say, a timely distraction.
The second labor will be much quicker and easier, you realize. Don't fret. Just push.
I am a little worried about the resentment aspect but really, how long can it really last? It cannot be for the whole life, that much I am sure. That is why i want to make every effort to make sure that my first one doesnt feel left out.
Its going to be a C-section.
I am a little worried about the resentment aspect but really, how long can it really last? It cannot be for the whole life, that much I am sure. That is why i want to make every effort to make sure that my first one doesnt feel left out.
Its going to be a C-section.
Individual children are different. Your first may not resent the baby at all. She may resent the attention the baby gets for a little while, but you can mitigate that by doing *big girl* things with her. If she's almost 4, she may enjoy being a little helper for you.
I do think that preschool can help also, but that depends on finding a decent play based preschool (half days perhaps) that she will enjoy. Preschool can give her the feeling of having a life of her own as a big kid.
Individual children are different. Your first may not resent the baby at all. She may resent the attention the baby gets for a little while, but you can mitigate that by doing *big girl* things with her. If she's almost 4, she may enjoy being a little helper for you.
I do think that preschool can help also, but that depends on finding a decent play based preschool (half days perhaps) that she will enjoy. Preschool can give her the feeling of having a life of her own as a big kid.
yes nana053. the pre-school she is going to will be only for a few hours. 4 hours to be specific. So, she has some time away for herself. I can understand if she resents the attention the baby gets.
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