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Between the 2 of us, we have 9 young adult children. Most of them know when to be polite. A couple of them can be fairly rude. Only one is off-the-charts rude but that one has a personality disorder. Doesn't make it right. Just is.
I think it depends on the parents, the friends, and where you live/ what is considered acceptable.
We have friends in the Midwest and South whose children automatically refer to adults as Mr./Mrs., know more than just basic table manners, hold doors open, and wouldn't dream of bringing their cell phone to the dinner table because that is the norm for all the families in the area. In other words, if they go for a playdate the other mom#2 is going to remind them not to chew with their mouth open and mom#1 is fine with it.
We live near the West Coast and if you dared to correct a child other than your own, you would be banished from the playdate scene. Kids here bring laptops and tablets to the table, grunt if you ask a question, horrible/sloppy table manners, wouldn't occur to them to hold a door or help bring groceries in. I finally quit substitute teaching when I had a 3rd grader, in one of the better schools, tell me to f*** off.
Where this ends up is when these kids go into the work force. We have several entry level jobs in our office that pay well above fast food and retail, that are a constant revolving door. The 20-somethings are reminded at the interview that they will need to cover any visible tattoos EVERY day, cell phones are to be stowed away during working hours as we allow personal calls to their desk phone to prevent them from texting when they're supposed to be working, they are expected to work from 8-5 M-F with an hour for lunch (we let them be flexible deciding when to take the hour, within reason), and they are expected to use common courtesies and professional language in the office.
The norm here, jsut an example of the latest one we have right now...she has figured out that she can clock 8 hours each day by clocking in at 745 so she can clock out at 445. Her cell phone buzzes all day long and she uses bathroom breaks all day long to text in the rest room and frequently texts at her desk as well. This does not stop her from multiple phone calls on her desk phone every day from the baby daddy (2 different biological fathers for 2 toddlers), disabled father who watches toddlers, mom calls because they share a car and have different work schedules, short sleeves and capris during the warm weather showing her multiple tattoos, profanity and improper use of written and oral skills in general. And after 5 weeks she has yet to have a 40-hour paycheck. I don't believe she has worked until 5 on any Friday since she's been here. And you may say "why doesn't the supervisor fix this?" The supervisor has children of the same age and indulges every request to leave early or come in late...concerts, pick up/drop off kids, transortation issues, has HER cell phone on her desk regularly taking calls and texting with family and friends, her daughter has a baby and baby daddy, etc. So the rest of us just groan as yet another position is basically an empty hole leaving us with more work.
So, when you wonder about how to raise children, remember that every little choice you help them make each day will either make them a productive member of society or a 20-something in the revolving door.
Every generation thinks this of the next generation's teens.
There's also a lot of moodiness and self-centerdness that happens in teens due to the psychological changes they are experiencing... but that's definitely not just teens TODAY, that's how young people develop. On the flip side of the coin, they are also very enthusiastic and passionate about things they believe in, very energetic, open to new ideas... there's two sides to everything.
And I think ALL generations have bad phone manners nowadays. And young people are typically more comfortable and "native" with newer technology. Nothing new to see here either.
I just spent 3 weeks with my teenaged grandchildren.....Yes, moody, on their phones or their online games 90% of the time. But, I cannot totally blame them....Their Mom is on her phone, FB ing throughout everything we did. It is pathetic, seeing someone post about how much fun they are having, while you are sitting there being ignored lol! I started taking walks and going to the local Whole Foods by myself, or with her friends lol....as my grandkids constantly were like...."I'm good" when asked if they wanted to take a walk. Kids these days only want to go with you when you are buying them something...Not griping, just honestly answering this OP's question
Let's go back 30 years or so. The average home probably has 4 people sharing ONE phone line and ONE television. The kids probably have a boombox or walkman to listen to the radio. That seems like A LOT less distraction compared to today.
30 years ago, my firstborn was an infant. We had basically two on one land line. We had at least two TVs, heck, my parents had that many in the 70s. "Answering machines" (not voicemail) were just beginning to take off in popularity. People hated them. About 15 years ago we got cell phones.
Quote:
Originally Posted by 43north87west
No bigger a problem today than 20 years ago, it seems. The only difference is that technology has gotten much more mobile. Back up a few decades and teens were rude, obnoxious, moody, and constantly hogging the land line.
They couldn't bring the phone to the table, or play games on it. Internet was something few had in 1994.
Quote:
Originally Posted by kent_moore
I have a 6 year old son (other 2 are 3 and 1.5) and this is what I worry about when they reach their teenage years.
I have never bought them ipad, they can only use ipad when their aunt (who have 1) is around. They never had a game console either. I buy them stuff like kite, bike, skateboard, remote control cars so they play outside and release their energy.
One thing I notice about my 6 year old kid is that everytime he uses my or my wife's fone to play app games, he easily gets half hearted everytime he loses the game. He also doesn't want to be bothered while playing. So we discourage him playing app games.
On the other hand, I observed that most teenagers prefer to be glued on their fones rather than join the gangs.
Don't borrow trouble. It'll be something different by the time yours are teens.
Moody, obnoxious, rude? No, I do not agree. I know plenty of great teens. Glued to their phones? Hmmm. I'd say that's a problem for most age groups today.
And, I really doubt that they are actually Dr. Jeckle & Mr. Hyde behind closed doors.
LOL, well that's how most kids were when I was young. Were you never a child? We were sweet, polite and cute to their face and something very different behind their backs!
I don't see Parenting being any different than when I was a teen = good parenting produces good kids and bad parenting (like we got) produces bad kids so, if todays kids are this way or that, point the finger at their parents - NOT AT THEM.
jim
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