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Old 12-24-2007, 02:37 PM
 
Location: in a house
5,835 posts, read 3,882,521 times
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I would like to know how other mom's deal with letting their teenage kids go? What I mean by go is..letting go of their little boy that now doesn't want to have anything to do with you, is annoyed when you walk into their room while they are AIMing, grunt instead of speaking, expect, expect, expect. I find myself getting a bit sad and missing the great times I had with my son when he was little and loved me so much. It's almost like mourning a death. My son will be 15 in May and he is my only child.
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Old 12-24-2007, 03:27 PM
 
Location: Dallas, Texas
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Sounds like a normal teenager to me. I don't have kids, but I'm 32 and young enough to remember what it was like being a teenager. I'd just ease off him...knock before entering his room and demand that he do the same, and try (though I know it's hard) to not treat him like a child. Just be there for him. It's a phase; boys and girls deal with it differently though at that age kids don't seem to want much to do with their folks. He'll come back to you, it'll just take some time...and he'll come back as a man.
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Old 12-25-2007, 05:39 AM
 
Location: In a house
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I never had that problem with my son although I do know friends who have. Now my daughter, well that's another story. She did get distant and wanted her privacy. She had found her friends to be more important then her family. It's pretty normal but that doesn't make it any easier. Respect their privacy. As the above poster said, he will come back. He's trying out his wings now. He loves you every bit as much as ever but we adults can be such a bore. Besides, they do know just about everything at this age you know---hee! Keep a watchful eye on him and be there for him. He will be back!!
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Old 12-25-2007, 05:47 AM
 
Location: In the sunshine on a ship with a plank
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Puffle, Mine is the same age and I go through the same things with him. But I keep the lines of communication open and he knows that he can talk to me about anything- and he does when he needs to.

It takes a conscious effort but I try to give him his space- but I still make sure I know exactly where he is and who he's with- and check in with phone calls- and make sure he does the same.

I think it's a testosterone thing- mine is a bit of a late bloomer- but set limits and allow him his privacy and freedom within those limits. That's what I'm doing and so far, so good.
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Old 12-25-2007, 09:19 AM
 
Location: in a house
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Thanks for sharing your stories and advice. It's always reasurring to hear from other parents going through similiar situations. Happy New Year to all of you.
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Old 12-25-2007, 04:11 PM
 
Location: West 'Burbs of Chicago
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Oh yes ... i've been thru something similar too. I have 2 boys, currently 20 & 17.

they both went thru certain phases where i was cut out.

My DH traveled a lot when the boys hit these phases, so at times i felt helpless ... but they do grow out of it. as mentioned earlier .... just let them know how you feel and that you will always be there for them if and when they need you.

My youngest will come to me before he goes to Dh, where the older one tends to turn to his dad ... but both of them know they can come to me with anything. That I always instilled in them.

good communication is always the key ... but they do want their space too.

but -- obviously try to be aware of what they are "up to" -- and if you do "snoop" into their space ... don't come off as spying ... that will push them farther away.

My youngest, he would always be looking over his shoulder while on AIM ... so i actually was "recording" it ... i felt horrible doing it, but once i realized i had nothing to worry about .... i quit recording and reading the conversations.

sometimes kids are just kids.

It's not ever easy being a parent .

good luck to you.
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Old 12-26-2007, 06:01 PM
 
Location: in a house
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Quote:
Originally Posted by pirate girl View Post
Puffle, Mine is the same age and I go through the same things with him. But I keep the lines of communication open and he knows that he can talk to me about anything- and he does when he needs to.

It takes a conscious effort but I try to give him his space- but I still make sure I know exactly where he is and who he's with- and check in with phone calls- and make sure he does the same.

I think it's a testosterone thing- mine is a bit of a late bloomer- but set limits and allow him his privacy and freedom within those limits. That's what I'm doing and so far, so good.
Since your son is the same age do you ever find yourself looking at pictures of him when he was small and feel sad that those days are gone? It's been hard to look at these sweet pictures of him with his angel face and curly blonde hair hugging or kissing me. Just makes me miss him so much, almost like those pictures are of someone else. Do you know what I mean at all or am I just nuts?
I completely understand the teenage thing..I was one once.
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Old 12-26-2007, 08:45 PM
 
Location: In the sunshine on a ship with a plank
3,413 posts, read 7,833,178 times
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Yes- and I think I'm getting more sentimental because he started high school this year so the countdown is on for him to grow up and leave my nest....... I wonder if you're going through the same feelings? I feel like I have limited time to do everything that I always wanted to do with him because one day I'm going to wake up and have to load him and his belongings in the car and drop him off in a dorm someplace..... and I don't know about you, but I get upset just thinking about it.

My son is a bit of an old soul- he's always been well spoken and sometimes I feel like he's just gotten taller but has always been the same person.... I don't know if that makes sense to you- he's my baby but once he started talking he became my little buddy and he's still that.
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Old 12-27-2007, 08:09 AM
 
Location: in a house
5,835 posts, read 3,882,521 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by pirate girl View Post
Yes- and I think I'm getting more sentimental because he started high school this year so the countdown is on for him to grow up and leave my nest....... I wonder if you're going through the same feelings? I feel like I have limited time to do everything that I always wanted to do with him because one day I'm going to wake up and have to load him and his belongings in the car and drop him off in a dorm someplace..... and I don't know about you, but I get upset just thinking about it.

My son is a bit of an old soul- he's always been well spoken and sometimes I feel like he's just gotten taller but has always been the same person.... I don't know if that makes sense to you- he's my baby but once he started talking he became my little buddy and he's still that.
I feel exactly the same thing! It's almost as if he was always suppose to be my son. Not ready to think about the packing and leaving part. Can you imagine! Can't even pass baby pics without tearing up. My son and I always did everything together and always laughed our butts off wherever we were. I know my hubby felt like an outsider because he didn't get our humor and was a bit jealous of our connection. It's still like that when I can get him to spend time with just me, which is rare. Yes, high school is a whole different animal when the connection to friends is the most important thing as it should be, just a transition period for all of us.
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Old 12-27-2007, 10:00 AM
 
Location: Oz
2,238 posts, read 8,695,129 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by puffle View Post
I would like to know how other mom's deal with letting their teenage kids go? What I mean by go is..letting go of their little boy that now doesn't want to have anything to do with you, is annoyed when you walk into their room while they are AIMing, grunt instead of speaking, expect, expect, expect. I find myself getting a bit sad and missing the great times I had with my son when he was little and loved me so much. It's almost like mourning a death. My son will be 15 in May and he is my only child.
Just tell yourself that it will get better once he's grown. My son was like that until he was about 19 and then he did a 180 and he's a great son again. Calls me all the time, talks about his problems with me, asks for advice. So, I think it's just a phase. He's trying to sort out all the emotional and physical things that come with being a teenaged boy, and it's easiest to take it out on mom because he knows you'll always be there for him.
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