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Old 09-01-2014, 07:47 AM
 
Location: Warren County and loving it!
5,079 posts, read 7,251,101 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CarolinaPig View Post
Of course not. Parents also shouldn't feel obligated to not enroll their toddlers because of what someone else thinks. This isn't a one size fits all situation, what works for one family may not work for another. What is too much for one kid may be perfectly fine for another.

If you are looking for reasons, I can only give you my personal ones.

I put my kid in these activities because I am a natural introvert. I am perfectly fine with no interaction from others but my kid is a different story. Because I don't have a lot of friends (and those that I do have are far flung and without kids her age) I enroll her in activities so she gets the interactions she NEEDS. My daughter went to daycare from 3 months to 3 years old when I finally stopped working in an office. She went from 5 full days of interaction and kids and fun, fun, fun to being home with me so I was worried she would be bored and miss being with kids all day. The parents at my daughter's daycare were NOT interested in getting together for playdates or parties or anything. If your kid doesn't need interaction, great but your kid isn't the standard by which all kids should be judged.

I am a SAHM and I got flack this summer for putting my 3-year old in summer camps. But I work from home part time and the camps allowed me to get work done without constant interruptions. Same thing with 3K and 4K during the school year (3 days a week).

Another observation: as a former full-time working mom there were very, very little free, casual activities for kids during non-work hours, at least in my area. The activities that were available after hours and on weekends? You had to enroll and pay for them. Moms groups met during the day.

And sometimes the activities are just for fun! I see them and think my kid would enjoy it. It's really that simple.
Do not explain your reasons for putting your child in Summer Camp. It's YOUR child and your life. When people pay your bills then you explain to them but not until then.

I don't believe in spending a small fortune on socialization groups for toddlers either. Preschool is just fine.

If it's a sport or activity you think your child might enjoy then by all means, enroll them. At the age of 3 or 4, I would only do one maybe in the spring and another in the fall. That's it.

We did just these things with our kids and it worked out fine. A lot of people think running themselves ragged is part of parenting when their kids are that small. It's not. There's enough to do at home to keep a family running and afloat without 4-5 nights a week of running to activities. Then there's also family time.

My point is to do things you and your child want to do. Not because of pressure or because that's what the others are doing.
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Old 09-01-2014, 08:09 AM
 
Location: Foot of the Rockies
85,014 posts, read 98,876,691 times
Reputation: 31456
Quote:
Originally Posted by TXNGL View Post
I guess I haven't. I can't recall ever meeting a kid who was never around other kids, whether in a structured environment or casual. How does that happen? Honest question.
I never met any who were never around other kids, but I have run into kids who even at age 4, haven't been around many kids. The only child next door comes to mind. This is not a "diss" of only children, just saying, she didn't have any experience with the negotiating, turn taking, etc that comes from being around other kids.

Quote:
Originally Posted by TXNGL View Post
Just going by what the OP was talking about. There are areas where parents do put their kids in all sorts of costly activities, talk to some wealthy parents in Manhattan, for example. Yes, I did agree with the poster who asked whether kids would be feral without. I thought it was funny. And in no way am I suggesting that parents don't have to seek this sort of interaction out, whether they live in a city or a rural area. Not at all. Parents should not feel obligated to enroll their toddlers in a zillion activities...as per the OP. Do you disagree?
Well, perhaps Manhattan is an outlier. Don't know, never lived there, let alone with kids.
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Old 09-01-2014, 09:00 AM
 
Location: The analog world
15,680 posts, read 8,775,979 times
Reputation: 21032
Once again, the moms of the parenting forums are being asked to justify how they choose to raise their children. I'm really over it. Honestly, OP, get a life, and stop worrying so much about the rest of us. If you have a question for or a conflict with a specific parent in your social circle about her toddler's schedule, take it up with her. I'm embarrassed that I even posted to this thread.
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Old 09-01-2014, 11:39 AM
 
172 posts, read 135,927 times
Reputation: 490
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jerseyt719 View Post
My point is to do things you and your child want to do. Not because of pressure or because that's what the others are doing.
Totally. When people say something to me I just nod my head and change the subject, I don't feel the need to justify to people who don't have a stake in my life. I was just laying out some reasons as to why it may appear to others that people are enrolling their kids in a zillion organized activities but it's not really a black/white issue. Maybe it will make the OP think, "Hey! Maybe these people have different lives and kids than I do! What is right for my kid might not be right for their kid! Hey, maybe they have perfectly valid reasons that are not for me to understand for enrolling their kids in amounts of stuff that I may think is silly."

I don't doubt that there are those that enroll their kids in a bunch of activities to feel as if they have to give their kids a fighting chance in this world. Like going to the wrong preschool will mean they go to a less than desirable college or something. But people who think that are few and far between, IME. Maybe there are some insecure parents out there that feel as if they have to put their kids in these activities but again, I don't see that. I just see parents putting their kids in activities that they think they will enjoy. Don't put them in activities, put them in everything, who cares, keep your eyes on your paper.
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Old 09-01-2014, 01:00 PM
 
11,615 posts, read 19,731,699 times
Reputation: 12051
Quote:
Originally Posted by hunterseat View Post
Just my opinion but then, the suicide rate is up among youngsters, too, isn't it?
I don't think there is a suicide rate amongst toddlers (the subject of this thread).
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Old 09-01-2014, 01:09 PM
 
Location: Bella Vista, Ark
69,357 posts, read 79,541,504 times
Reputation: 38690
Quote:
Originally Posted by hml1976 View Post
Yes lots of people put their kids in organized activities very young. Yes, it is mostly for the parents but the kids mostly seem to think its fun. Kudos to you for not giving into peer pressure....but why do you care what other parents choose to do with their time?
natural curiosity if nothing else and venting frustration. Is there anything wrong with the OP doing this? I happen to agree, putting toddlers or kids period in organized activities before they are even is school isn't a particularly good idea. oh, maybe a dance class when they are 3 or 4 once a week is so bad, but one of the problems we have with our youth today, is, they grow up too fast, so of course it is natural to wonder if starting them in organized activities to young is contributing to their growing up in a hurry.
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Old 09-01-2014, 01:14 PM
 
Location: Foot of the Rockies
85,014 posts, read 98,876,691 times
Reputation: 31456
Quote:
Originally Posted by randomparent View Post
Once again, the moms of the parenting forums are being asked to justify how they choose to raise their children. I'm really over it. Honestly, OP, get a life, and stop worrying so much about the rest of us. If you have a question for or a conflict with a specific parent in your social circle about her toddler's schedule, take it up with her. I'm embarrassed that I even posted to this thread.
Ditto, on all points.
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Old 09-01-2014, 07:26 PM
 
Location: NY to NJ
645 posts, read 774,891 times
Reputation: 1014
Quote:
Originally Posted by randomparent View Post
Once again, the moms of the parenting forums are being asked to justify how they choose to raise their children. I'm really over it. Honestly, OP, get a life, and stop worrying so much about the rest of us. If you have a question for or a conflict with a specific parent in your social circle about her toddler's schedule, take it up with her. I'm embarrassed that I even posted to this thread.
I guess someone forced you to post in my thread then huh? You just had to let it all out. Asking a simple question of weather or not activities like this are "typical" in your area is not asking anyone to respond if they don't feel the need to, or justify how they are parenting. Oh wait? So when I get asked why my kid hasn't been enrolled in activities, I need to "justify" my parenting. Um, how about I just give an answer, something like "No she isn't. So how's the weather tomorrow?", like most normal people would respond. Anyone that would get their underwear in a bunch over this thread, well I could only imagine how you are to "Real life" important issues. Like you know, not on an internet message board.
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Old 09-02-2014, 12:16 AM
 
Location: Dallas, Texas
8,861 posts, read 10,325,506 times
Reputation: 9271
Quote:
Originally Posted by Natsku View Post
Indeed, it does not need to be through organised programs if you live in an area with a lot of kids that are out and about at the park, or if you have friends with other young children. I'm not a fan of structured activities for young children as I think too much structure is bad for them (they need a lot of free time and space to play in their own way) but sometimes its the only, or perhaps the easiest, way for them to learn how to be around other children. And a little structured activity is good so that they learn to follow instructions, be part of a team or group etc. before they start school, so it isn't such a shock to them.
I agree. Yes. I guess my point this whole time, and I got distracted, is the whole structured environment deal. There are so many parents in certain areas, who flip out if their tots aren't in a ton of "programs" and I think (just my opinion) that they are missing the forest for the trees.
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Old 09-02-2014, 12:24 AM
 
Location: Dallas, Texas
8,861 posts, read 10,325,506 times
Reputation: 9271
Quote:
Originally Posted by CarolinaPig View Post
Of course not. Parents also shouldn't feel obligated to not enroll their toddlers because of what someone else thinks. This isn't a one size fits all situation, what works for one family may not work for another. What is too much for one kid may be perfectly fine for another.

If you are looking for reasons, I can only give you my personal ones.

I put my kid in these activities because I am a natural introvert. I am perfectly fine with no interaction from others but my kid is a different story. Because I don't have a lot of friends (and those that I do have are far flung and without kids her age) I enroll her in activities so she gets the interactions she NEEDS. My daughter went to daycare from 3 months to 3 years old when I finally stopped working in an office. She went from 5 full days of interaction and kids and fun, fun, fun to being home with me so I was worried she would be bored and miss being with kids all day. The parents at my daughter's daycare were NOT interested in getting together for playdates or parties or anything. If your kid doesn't need interaction, great but your kid isn't the standard by which all kids should be judged.

I am a SAHM and I got flack this summer for putting my 3-year old in summer camps. But I work from home part time and the camps allowed me to get work done without constant interruptions. Same thing with 3K and 4K during the school year (3 days a week).

Another observation: as a former full-time working mom there were very, very little free, casual activities for kids during non-work hours, at least in my area. The activities that were available after hours and on weekends? You had to enroll and pay for them. Moms groups met during the day.

And sometimes the activities are just for fun! I see them and think my kid would enjoy it. It's really that simple.

Thank you. :-) No criticism here. What you describe isn't at all what I was thinking about. My thoughts were more about the parents who flip out thinking their kid won't get into such and such preschool because their child has not been enrolled since birth in this activity or that...then such and such kindergarten...and so on. It's exhausting. I worry about those kids, not yours, so much pressure!
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