U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Parenting
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 05-11-2009, 08:57 AM
 
11,617 posts, read 19,781,588 times
Reputation: 12056

Advertisements

Quote:
Originally Posted by zonababe View Post
If one child if pummelling another and you as an adult do nothing to stop the fight, that is called child abuse in the United States.
I don't think so. When an adult is pummeling a child it would be called child abuse. When little boys play rough it's called little boys playing rough. Many little boys enjoy this type of physical play. Let's not blow things out of proportion.

Do you have actual little boys in your home?
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 05-11-2009, 09:04 AM
 
Location: Visitation between Wal-Mart & Home Depot
8,309 posts, read 33,433,815 times
Reputation: 7042
Quote:
Originally Posted by reute View Post
I'm sorry for the bad english, my mother thong is not the english language,

My son (8 age) have a good friend who live near us, and he comes almost every day to play with my son.
They have lots of toys and games to play with, but almost always finely they begin with the play fights, what would you do if you see your son lay flat on the floor and his friend who is stronger then him sit on him untill he gives up?
Of course i hate to see them fight, even it's just a play fight. I want to stop it but i continent, i don't know if that is the right thing to do. And maybe i have to let them fight?
My son too don't want me to stop the game, he told me that he like to fight.
What do you think about that?

today i understand why i want just daughters, but right now i have just two sons :-)

reute
Personally, I think play fighting is part of the natural order. If no one is crying or bleeding it shouldn't be a problem. Confidence later in life is built in childhood through male-male interaction and "fight tests", as are deep male bonds, so I don't see a problem with letting boys be boys as you described above. If it gets too rough they need a correction about "rough play in the house" and need to be sent outside.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-11-2009, 10:11 AM
 
Location: Here... for now
1,747 posts, read 2,625,411 times
Reputation: 1208
For the boy who is always the victor, playfighting can be quite a confidence builder. For the boy who is sometimes the victor, sometimes the loser, I'd assume playfighting can just something to pass a few bored moments. But what about the child who is perpetually the "loser", how does playfighting affect him?

I raised a son (only child) who never really did a lot of playfighting with his friends. He took martial arts classes (black belt), so maybe his friends were a bit leery of playfighting with him . And perhaps he got his "playfighting fix" during sparring matches.

We used to have neighbors who were avid WWF fans and their kids always wanted to "wrestle". My son went to play with them a few times but thought the whole thing was rather stupid (that's literally ALL they wanted to do), so he stopped going over there. He actually said to me, "Mom, someone could get hurt! Don't they see that???"
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-11-2009, 11:22 AM
 
2,838 posts, read 8,863,046 times
Reputation: 2858
My own kids play wrestle to a point, then usually my littler one ends up crying over something, so I usually put a stop to it within a few minutes.

My eight year old son wrestles and play-fights with his friends, though, and I don't stop it. They're all around the same size, and no one has gotten hurt as of yet. It seems to be a universal thing... we visited Germany a couple of years ago, and he played with some non-English-speaking boys (and we do not speak German). Within several minutes, they were laughing and wrestling.

I remember my brothers wrestling when we were kids too, and neither one is violent or attempts to wrestle at family get-togethers now. I think it's something normal and natural in young boys, and that they outgrow it eventually.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-11-2009, 11:32 AM
 
Location: Visitation between Wal-Mart & Home Depot
8,309 posts, read 33,433,815 times
Reputation: 7042
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nelly Nomad View Post
For the boy who is always the victor, playfighting can be quite a confidence builder. For the boy who is sometimes the victor, sometimes the loser, I'd assume playfighting can just something to pass a few bored moments. But what about the child who is perpetually the "loser", how does playfighting affect him?

I raised a son (only child) who never really did a lot of playfighting with his friends. He took martial arts classes (black belt), so maybe his friends were a bit leery of playfighting with him . And perhaps he got his "playfighting fix" during sparring matches.

We used to have neighbors who were avid WWF fans and their kids always wanted to "wrestle". My son went to play with them a few times but thought the whole thing was rather stupid (that's literally ALL they wanted to do), so he stopped going over there. He actually said to me, "Mom, someone could get hurt! Don't they see that???"
That's an interesting thought. Here's my spin on it...

The toughest S.O.B. I ever met was the youngest of 4 brothers. He spent his entire youth pinned by his brothers getting knots rubbed into the hair on his arms and being on the receiving end of "Noogies".

He's now completely unafraid of any man or beast. He also plays for the Titans.

To me, being bullied is one thing but learning about your body and your relative strengths and weaknesses is another. Sometimes little guys will actually learn that their greatest strength lies in never quitting even in the face of overwhelming force.

Practical experience and strength of character comes from trial and error much faster than it comes from being set up to succeed.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-11-2009, 02:16 PM
 
49 posts, read 300,539 times
Reputation: 45
My two boys play fight almost every day. The only rules we enforce are: no biting, no kicking, and no hitting in the face or groin.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-11-2009, 02:21 PM
 
Location: Visitation between Wal-Mart & Home Depot
8,309 posts, read 33,433,815 times
Reputation: 7042
Quote:
Originally Posted by arlingtonChris View Post
My two boys play fight almost every day. The only rules we enforce are: no biting, no kicking, and no hitting in the face or groin.
If you throw in "no eye-gouging" you have UFC rules.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-30-2011, 12:01 AM
 
578 posts, read 1,384,952 times
Reputation: 532
no it is part of growing up
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-30-2011, 07:05 AM
 
Location: Chapel Hill, N.C.
36,437 posts, read 41,820,424 times
Reputation: 47043
I see nothing wrong with it. It is part of being a boy and normal and natural.
My son and his best friend who was on the wrestling team used to do it all the time. Friend would try to teach son the moves and they both enjoyed it. Nobody ever got hurt and I think it is an acceptable bonding exercise for boys.

They are still friends today as adults.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-30-2011, 08:21 PM
 
Location: somewhere
4,264 posts, read 7,951,554 times
Reputation: 3129
My boys wrestle all the time, I will usually let it go for awhile but if I see it going to far I will stop it, however I am not to sure how I would feel about my sons and friends doing this, especially at that age. I think my hesitation is that this friend is not my child and I would feel really bad if they go hurt accidently in my home.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:

Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Parenting
Follow City-Data.com founder on our Forum or

All times are GMT -6.

2005-2018, Advameg, Inc.

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35 - Top