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Old 09-03-2014, 06:27 PM
 
43,012 posts, read 89,100,171 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Tinawina View Post
And I'm saying that is not a workable solution for a lot of people, because they will never give up custody over money, nor would they consider the other parent the better parent by virtue of income. If someone is thinking the other parent is irresponsible or whatever and the step parent unsuitable, they are not permanently turning over their kids. You are talking as if that's the simple. easy solution, and it's not simple or easy in real life.
It's not about giving up custody over money. It's about making sure their children have the best opportunities. People who truly care about the wellbeing of their children will switch custody. Since parents put their children up for adoption everyday because they can't provide for them, there's no reason to assume some parents won't switch custody because they can't provide for them too. Usually both parents are very suitable. Women usually get custody merely due to gender, not because most men are incompetent parents.

It's just downright insane to expect step parents to pay child support, and I can imagine a law like that will postpone quite a few weddings until children turn 18 if that happens.
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Old 09-03-2014, 09:37 PM
 
15,838 posts, read 18,488,781 times
Reputation: 25622
Go to your local Child Support Enforcement, should be listed in your phone directory under that name...Look in the pages under your County name. office and talk to one of their attorneys. Take your court order for C.S. and your divorce papers. CSE is there to help collect child support. If they do their job, they will find out about his income etc. If he has not been paying C.S., and you have a court order, he is in contempt of court. Hopefully you live in a State that has strong enforcement practices. Good luck to you on this.
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Old 09-03-2014, 09:43 PM
 
Location: Native Floridian, USA
4,896 posts, read 5,874,515 times
Reputation: 6050
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pitt Chick View Post
LOL!

This one-post OP certainly stirred the pot before disappearing!
they always do.
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Old 09-03-2014, 09:50 PM
 
5,413 posts, read 4,829,493 times
Reputation: 9351
Quote:
Originally Posted by AnnieA View Post
they always do.
It's been less than a day...not everyone can check a forum several times a day....and her profile says she was here " Today 06:35 AM"...so give the OP a chance. Everyone makes a first post at time point.
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Old 09-04-2014, 07:28 AM
 
33,059 posts, read 12,557,512 times
Reputation: 20959
Quote:
Originally Posted by key2thecity View Post
My thought is, a deadbeat will stay a deadbeat. If you have filed child support on him already and he is not paying, why do you think his spouse would pick up the slack for him? Two become one? Um, no. Furthermore, you should get out of their pockets and simply do what you can to take care of your child. Ex-spouse will reap what he sowed in the long run, but you're wasting your time with this convoluted way of thinking.
This is baloney. Every bit of it.

OP is doing what she can to take care of her child. He is not.

Get out of their pockets? Are you serious? You act like child support is a scam. Do you honestly believe that?

Many people do not marry because they do not wish to take on each other's debts and liabilities.

If the sergeant did not want to take on her partner's child support obligations, than living together would have been a better option than marriage. Or, insisting that he get a job and meet his financial obligations would be another option.

As to the ex reaping what he sowed --- ha!

I've lived long enough to see people get by with all sorts of nonsense and rarely, if ever, called to task for it.

I've known a number of fathers who skipped out on their parental responsibilities only to show up when the kids are grown like nothing has happened. Understandably, the relationship with their children is different than if they had stuck around. But the financial situation of the wife who worked like a dog to raise their kids with no help from him is certainly not improved. So how exactly does he reap what he sowed? Seems like she reaped what he sowed, not him.

Oh, occasionally a daughter will not invite him to her wedding (go Angelina), or decline to walk down the aisle with him. And sometimes abandoned children will decline to provide end-of-life assistance when asked. But generally that's about it for deadbeat dads.
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Old 09-04-2014, 07:39 AM
 
35,121 posts, read 37,898,138 times
Reputation: 61848
Quote:
Originally Posted by GotHereQuickAsICould View Post
This is baloney. Every bit of it.

OP is doing what she can to take care of her child. He is not.

Get out of their pockets? Are you serious? You act like child support is a scam. Do you honestly believe that?

Many people do not marry because they do not wish to take on each other's debts and liabilities.

If the sergeant did not want to take on her partner's child support obligations, than living together would have been a better option than marriage. Or, insisting that he get a job and meet his financial obligations would be another option.

As to the ex reaping what he sowed --- ha!

I've lived long enough to see people get by with all sorts of nonsense and rarely, if ever, called to task for it.

I've known a number of fathers who skipped out on their parental responsibilities only to show up when the kids are grown like nothing has happened. Understandably, the relationship with their children is different than if they had stuck around. But the financial situation of the wife who worked like a dog to raise their kids with no help from him is certainly not improved. So how exactly does he reap what he sowed? Seems like she reaped what he sowed, not him.

Oh, occasionally a daughter will not invite him to her wedding (go Angelina), or decline to walk down the aisle with him. And sometimes abandoned children will decline to provide end-of-life assistance when asked. But generally that's about it for deadbeat dads.

Child support isn't "just another debt or liability" and it should not be the financial responsibility of the new spouse of someone who did not create that child, did not birth that child and has no legal interest in that child.

Also, as mentioned by another poster much earlier in the thread, what if the new spouse has a child of their own and they are not getting the child support they are legally entitled to.
You think it is just fine to order her to pay for his child and make her child do without because she now has to pay for a child she did not create nor birth?

So where is the best for the new spouse' child?
Well according to you and the original poster the new spouse' child doesn't matter because it is only about the original poster's child.
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Old 09-04-2014, 07:45 AM
 
Location: Waxhaw, NC
1,076 posts, read 1,928,813 times
Reputation: 1099
Has misshoney come back at all? If not, i think it was a troll post and we should all move on.
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Old 09-04-2014, 07:57 AM
 
35,121 posts, read 37,898,138 times
Reputation: 61848
Quote:
Originally Posted by linicx View Post
In my state, IL., income is a factor. Talk to your lawyer or Child Support Office. In my state most parents pay support to the county court house.


Income of the biological parent is a factor, income of a step parent is not a factor.
The step parent is not financially responsible for the biological parent's child support.
Also, the only reason child support is paid through the court system is because the parents have requested it be paid through the court system.
It is not a law and it is not automatically done when child support is part of a divorce.
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Old 09-04-2014, 08:19 AM
miu
 
Location: MA/NH
16,502 posts, read 33,466,803 times
Reputation: 15242
Quote:
Originally Posted by misshoney0818 View Post
I am a single working parent and I have a teenage child with ex- husband. The ex has been happily married to new spouse who is an Army Sergent who has a steady income. I want to know if it's worth fighting and going to court to see if new spouse income could be factored into the child support calcualtion. This would give the ex no excuse that he has no money. If new spouse loves him enough to take care of him, give him a place to live, and her car to drive, then her funds should be factored into child support. No I am not looking to get an increase I'm just looking for ways to get him to do what is right. Surely if I was to remarry my new husband and my income would support my child and no need to go to court for that this would be automatic. That's why I believe the new spouse's income should be factored in child support. The ex and new spouse should do the same and provide income for my daughter. When 2 people marry they become as one. If ex has an obligation to provide for his daughter and fails to do so then the new spouse should share in this responsibility since the two are now one. I just notice how ex's are jumping ship in not taking care of their children and living it up by being taken care of by their new spouse. If there was a law that stated new spouse's income would be highly considere and /or included for the dead beat parent's financial obligation (child support), they would think twice about marriage or they could encourage the deadbeat parent to become responsible!

What are your thoughts?
My thoughts is that the OP is mainly bitter about her deadbeat ex scoring a second marriage with a woman willing to support him while she is still a divorcee being the main parent and supporter of their child.

And what is so deadbeat about this ex? I think that the OP is using the wrong terminology. She doesn't say that he is behind on his child support payments, only that he should be forced to pay more. Or rather since she claims that she isn't looking for an increase, but is more focused on making his new wife suffer by taking them to court to factor in her income. She just wants to add stress to their happy marriage by putting a spotlight on her ex's lack of steady income. BTW she doesn't say what her ex does for work, and I'm curious about that.

Otherwise, this should only be about the well-being of her daughter. I'm more interested in the teenage daughter's relationship with her father. Do they spend any time together? Is she fond of her dad or resentful of him? Should the parents now go to a joint custody arrangement? Does the daughter have college plans will need some help financially? And on this, as long as the OP and her daughter aren't living in an impoverished situation, it might be better at this point if the child support arrangement doesn't change so that the daughter can qualify for more financial aid.
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Old 09-04-2014, 10:35 AM
 
4,582 posts, read 6,154,758 times
Reputation: 5233
If the shoe were on the other foot how would you feel? Would you have no problem paying support for a child that's not yours? Myself I wouldn't want to be in that situation. I think unless there are extreme situations the responsibility for kids are the parents.

I think do what you have to do but to factor in a ex-spouse new spouse income for child support consideration is just wrong. Two people made the child, not three.
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