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Old 09-03-2014, 08:25 PM
 
7 posts, read 6,890 times
Reputation: 10

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Hi, my name is John and I'm 17.


I have been recently getting into a numerous amounts of fights with my parents, specifically my dad. He refuses to give me a computer for school work on the grounds that I will misuse it . For the past 3 years in high school I have been doing bad. I go to a top 30 high school in the nation and it is very hard. However my grades have been steady picking up, for the first few weeks of my senior year I have been getting all A's even in the hard classes such as calculus. My dad will only let me use the computer in the living room but I need a computer in my room. It is very distracting and I'm not able to concentrate (I have ADHD). I even tried to compromise by asking him to put the computer in my room until and if my grades fall. He still refuses. Due to this we have been fighting even more. I spend my time fighting with him instead of studying. I genuinely want to study and improve my life but I need a computer for school work. I'm taking AP computer science! It frustrates me that my dad doesn't trust me and in order for him to give me the computer I am escalating the situation by cursing him out and misbehaving more than I have ever before. I even asked him what I can do to earn the computer and he said nothing. What should I do? Am I wrong?

 
Old 09-03-2014, 08:32 PM
 
5,413 posts, read 4,820,098 times
Reputation: 9351
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sxsuperxs View Post
Hi, my name is John and I'm 17.


I have been recently getting into a numerous amounts of fights with my parents, specifically my dad. He refuses to give me a computer for school work on the grounds that I will misuse it . For the past 3 years in high school I have been doing bad. I go to a top 30 high school in the nation and it is very hard. However my grades have been steady picking up, for the first few weeks of my senior year I have been getting all A's even in the hard classes such as calculus. My dad will only let me use the computer in the living room but I need a computer in my room. It is very distracting and I'm not able to concentrate (I have ADHD). I even tried to compromise by asking him to put the computer in my room until and if my grades fall. He still refuses. Due to this we have been fighting even more. I spend my time fighting with him instead of studying. I genuinely want to study and improve my life but I need a computer for school work. I'm taking AP computer science! It frustrates me that my dad doesn't trust me and in order for him to give me the computer I am escalating the situation by cursing him out and misbehaving more than I have ever before. I even asked him what I can do to earn the computer and he said nothing. What should I do? Am I wrong?
Your father does seem stricter than most to be honest...will he let you have a computer when you go to college? He is going to have to because every college I know requires it.

In the mean time, can you use headphones (noise cancelling or even soft music if it doesn't bother you) or earplugs while you do your homework in the living room?

Fighting with him won't work....it seldom does with anyone....learn that now. However, if you can get him to be specific about his concerns (not just 'you'll get in trouble), and then come up with and put in place a checks and balance system while you are at home so he can feel better about things....that may work better.
 
Old 09-03-2014, 08:40 PM
 
7 posts, read 6,890 times
Reputation: 10
I have tried on numerous occasions to be a rational human being and achieve what we both want. I want to succeed and I know he wants me to become successful. Despite this I am in awe because this time around I am unable to reason with him. I fear he has been reading too much in ADHD and is using a tactic that a book is recommending . This entire fiasco has been frustrating me since school has started. I do own a pair of noise canceling earphones however the computer is located in the kitchen. My mom cooks my little brothers run around. My parents yell at them to do homework, etc etc. At this point I have threatened to sleep and wake up when they sleep to do work, as well as move the computer when they are not present. My dad took the AC plug and won't give it to me me unless I specify the homework. I am trying to **** him off by playing video games on phone so I he can just get feed up and give it to me.
 
Old 09-03-2014, 08:41 PM
 
6,461 posts, read 6,101,517 times
Reputation: 9778
Noise canceling headphones are very effective for students who have ADHD. They aren't very expensive, and your school may have some you can check out or borrow. If not, talk with your parents and see if they will help you do this.

I just saw that you own some headphones. Maybe you can create a study caroll out of cardboard or poster board taped together to make a u shape.

Cursing a parent out and antagonizing them doesn't work. Just try to make the best out of an awkward situation.

Also the public library has laptops you can check out, as well as quiet areas to study with internet access.

Also talk with your AP teachers and see if they will let you have access to their computers before or after school. Sometimes they may even let you do some catch up during lunch or study hall.
 
Old 09-03-2014, 08:45 PM
 
35,121 posts, read 37,830,509 times
Reputation: 61840
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sxsuperxs View Post
Hi, my name is John and I'm 17.


I have been recently getting into a numerous amounts of fights with my parents, specifically my dad. He refuses to give me a computer for school work on the grounds that I will misuse it . For the past 3 years in high school I have been doing bad. I go to a top 30 high school in the nation and it is very hard. However my grades have been steady picking up, for the first few weeks of my senior year I have been getting all A's even in the hard classes such as calculus. My dad will only let me use the computer in the living room but I need a computer in my room. It is very distracting and I'm not able to concentrate (I have ADHD). I even tried to compromise by asking him to put the computer in my room until and if my grades fall. He still refuses. Due to this we have been fighting even more. I spend my time fighting with him instead of studying. I genuinely want to study and improve my life but I need a computer for school work. I'm taking AP computer science! It frustrates me that my dad doesn't trust me and in order for him to give me the computer I am escalating the situation by cursing him out and misbehaving more than I have ever before. I even asked him what I can do to earn the computer and he said nothing. What should I do? Am I wrong?

What you can do is follow the rules of your Father's home.
If he does not want the computer in your room then it should not be in your room.
It is that simple.

Apparently the distraction is not that bad or your grades would not be all A's to this point.
Finish this year in high school, follow the rules of your Father's home, move out at 18, get a job, get your own place, support yourself, get your own computer and put it in your bedroom.

Oh, quit cursing out your Father, it is disrespectful.
 
Old 09-03-2014, 08:46 PM
 
5,413 posts, read 4,820,098 times
Reputation: 9351
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sxsuperxs View Post
I have tried on numerous occasions to be a rational human being and achieve what we both want. I want to succeed and I know he wants me to become successful. Despite this I am in awe because this time around I am unable to reason with him. I fear he has been reading too much in ADHD and is using a tactic that a book is recommending . This entire fiasco has been frustrating me since school has started. I do own a pair of noise canceling earphones however the computer is located in the kitchen. My mom cooks my little brothers run around. My parents yell at them to do homework, etc etc. At this point I have threatened to sleep and wake up when they sleep to do work, as well as move the computer when they are not present. My dad took the AC plug and won't give it to me me unless I specify the homework. I am trying to **** him off by playing video games on phone so I he can just get feed up and give it to me.
If you own good headphones...why aren't you using them. ..even in the kitchen? Stop trying to **** him off...it doesn't make any rational argument you may have seem that way.

So, what is your father afraid you are going to do on the computer? There are net nanny-blockers (normally used for younger children) he could install...and just check the cache to see what you've been up to.

What else is going on....because while I don't doubt that some parents are that strict with computers....something is not sounding right and it does appear that you have an excuse for everything.
 
Old 09-03-2014, 08:47 PM
 
5,413 posts, read 4,820,098 times
Reputation: 9351
Quote:
Originally Posted by Meyerland View Post
Also talk with your AP teachers and see if they will let you have access to their computers before or after school. Sometimes they may even let you do some catch up during lunch or study hall.
I haven't seen a school offer 'study hall' in years.....though using them at lunch to catch up is often a good option.
 
Old 09-03-2014, 08:50 PM
 
6,461 posts, read 6,101,517 times
Reputation: 9778
If you truly feel that your father is being unfair and irrational, then the best way to "win" is for you to be fair and extremely rational.

You could say, "Dad, I know I have been cursing you out and being a pain about the computer. I know I was wrong. Here is my plan, so I can get some quiet study time in. I'm going to prove to you that I am responsible and can be mature."

Then use a strategy from above to fix your own issue outside of your home.
 
Old 09-03-2014, 08:53 PM
 
6,461 posts, read 6,101,517 times
Reputation: 9778
Quote:
Originally Posted by ScarletG View Post
I haven't seen a school offer 'study hall' in years.....though using them at lunch to catch up is often a good option.
It depends on the campus and if they already have taken enough classes during their senior year to graduate the way they want.

Some high schools also have an elective that's required for graduation, but kids use it for a study hall experience.
 
Old 09-03-2014, 08:56 PM
 
7 posts, read 6,890 times
Reputation: 10
He is worried about video games. However the computer is already monitored. I have my own login under kids and it has parental controls. So obviously the computer location has no correlation to my recent grades. I have an iPhone and if truly didn't want to study then I wouldn't. However the computer is an an absolute must , I need it for more than 5 hours a day
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