U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Happy Easter!
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Parenting
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 09-11-2014, 04:15 PM
 
3,530 posts, read 2,177,497 times
Reputation: 2636

Advertisements

Does he play soccer at home, or was this his first experience with a soccer ball?
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 09-11-2014, 04:39 PM
 
Location: Foot of the Rockies
85,010 posts, read 98,863,560 times
Reputation: 31456
Quote:
Originally Posted by convextech View Post
If it were me, I wouldn't take him back again. He's obviously not ready. If he asks why, remind him that you told him if he didn't play nice you wouldn't be playing anymore.
Oh, I'd give him another chance. After all, he's 3 1/2! He's acting normal.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 09-11-2014, 04:45 PM
 
43,012 posts, read 89,033,856 times
Reputation: 30256
Quote:
Originally Posted by Florida2014 View Post
I definitely don't wan to ban him from soccer altogether. I want to work with him to figure it all out so that he can enjoy sports as his dad did for so many years growing up.
You don't need to ban soccer for eternity. Soccer not working out at 3-1/2 doesn't mean he won't enjoy soccer or another sport for many years growing up. His entire sports future doesn't rest on this particular moment. He might not be developmentally ready just yet, which is very likely since he's behind verbally. That doesn't mean he won't catch up.

You need to STOP worrying about what other parents think of you. That's way too much pressure to put on your child to be perfect for the sake of how others view your parenting. From your description, there were 40 kids there. Your eyes were on your son. I'm certain he wasn't the only one who was aggressive and not following instructions. Your being self conscious is causing you to exaggerate. Remember, another kid shoved your son first. That means your son wasn't the only child not behaving perfectly. I'm not excusing his behavior but you can't let yourself be embarrassed.

I'd give him another chance. He might just need a few more "games" before he catches on. If you tell him you're taking him home, you have to follow through and take him home. Don't make a threat like (in soccer or anywhere) that if you have no intentions of following through. If you ultimately decide he's not ready for soccer after going a few more times, you don't need to let him know that. You can just tell him soccer is over for the season.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 09-11-2014, 04:47 PM
 
15,302 posts, read 16,854,240 times
Reputation: 15020
Quote:
Originally Posted by Florida2014 View Post
Yesterday was my 3.5 year old son's first day of "soccer." I put that in quotes because at that age it's isn't really a sport, but more of an excuse to get out and exercise, play with kids, learn instructions, etc. All the good stuff that supposedly comes with team sports.

I was horrified at my son's behavior during this 45 minute session. It was blazing hot (we're in FL) and the sun was beating down onto the field and one of the 3 coaches didn't show up, so what should have been 3 groups of 10 turned into 2 groups of almost 20 (some of the other groups also came and joined as well). Just far too many kids for anyone to really be able to corral. Not an excuse but certainly didn't help matters.

Everything started off fine, they started by kind of running around in circles. My son followed, no problems. Then they handed out the soccer balls and this is where he went haywire. One kid kind of shoved him, "Pete"as we'll call him shoved back. These two went back and forth for a solid 20 seconds of shoving and yelling until I had to walk out there in front of all the parents and ask him to place nice, "No hitting please or else we'll go home!" Calmed him down for a few minutes.

After that it was chaos. Most of the other kids, aged roughly 3, seemed to be following instructions somewhat well. My kid would run off on his own frequently, when he came back it was shoving match after shoving match. I must have had to walk out and remove him from the situation at least 3 times. At one point he literally ran 200 yards away from everyone to a shed in the corner of the fields. When I reached him he said he had to go "pee pee."

I guess I expected more. My son is very playful and has had some minor hitting/pushing issues....nothing like yesterday though. If my kid had been one of the well-behaved ones and I saw "Pete" doing that to other kids, I'd surely have wondered who the hell his parent was and what they were doing at home. I feel like we definitely show ample affection and discipline with him but maybe we're missing something. "Pete" is an only child but he does go to preschool twice a week half days, the other days he's with an au pair, which frequently involves activities with other children.

I'm probably overreacting to this but wondering if other parents have experienced this behavior and what they did to help improve it.
I bet you just did not notice other kids misbehaving because you were focused on yours.

He's 3. Kids this age have short attention spans and will push and shove in their excitement.
Also, this seems like too many kids in the activity for anything good to happen. Not sure what program this is, but at 3, the kids should have 1 adult to about every 8 kids and more than one team of 8 should not be playing together as a group.

I would let him try again, but if the coaches can't get there so that the ratio is decent, I might quit and try again when he is older.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 09-11-2014, 05:08 PM
 
Location: Cary NC
1,042 posts, read 1,362,108 times
Reputation: 2393
I've been in that situation it can be so embarrassing. Try to separate that from what your son was probably experiencing in that chaotic atmosphere, he was probably overwhelmed and I'm sure the coaches didn't like it either so probably next time the kids will be split in smaller groups. Just remind him before you go back again, no hitting
the other kids, keep it simple and just try to give him that one rule. I bet second time around it will go much better.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 09-11-2014, 05:11 PM
 
Location: Texas
42,262 posts, read 49,809,717 times
Reputation: 67091
Quote:
Originally Posted by Zeurch View Post
If you are talking about a 3 year old I think he need time. They are still too young to follow the rules,
Every kid is different.
They have select teams for 3/4 year olds now.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 09-11-2014, 07:00 PM
 
5,413 posts, read 4,823,062 times
Reputation: 9351
Quote:
Originally Posted by Florida2014 View Post
I think part of the problem stems from the fact that he's not able to 100% communicate fully with us just yet. Words and broken sentences, yes. But I think he basically understands right from wrong.

I definitely don't wan to ban him from soccer altogether. I want to work with him to figure it all out so that he can enjoy sports as his dad did for so many years growing up.
He is three and you are thinking of banning him from sports!!. You are really putting the cart before the horse here.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 09-11-2014, 07:18 PM
 
10,608 posts, read 13,394,416 times
Reputation: 17163
I didn't even need to read your whole post.

THREE IS TOO YOUNG.

FLORIDA IS TOO HOT. WTH?? I'm a professional dog walker and will NOT hard walk any dog in summer. I live on the East coast mid FL.

My son started at 5-6 and he was more interested in picking the flowers out of the grass. He was only interested in socializing with his "friends". Who happened to remain friends for life.

Later on he was the HIGH school ice hockey goal tender and got on the team in eighth grade. Played a life time of sports. Every season. Baseball, soccer, basketball and hockey.

When he was four, I started him in karate and he refused to remove his socks. He said "MOM you're expecting too much from me I'm only four years old."

Cut the kid a break.

He's a BABY.

AND soccer parents are BRUTAL. Just like ice hockey. They used to blow an air horn behind my kid in goal. Until I threatened them LOL. (I'm a girl, too)

Do something TOGETHER. He'd prefer your attention and doing stuff together than "soccer".

Can he swim? I took my kid to mommy and me swimming at age three.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 09-11-2014, 07:32 PM
 
43,012 posts, read 89,033,856 times
Reputation: 30256
Quote:
Originally Posted by ScarletG View Post
He is three and you are thinking of banning him from sports!!. You are really putting the cart before the horse here.
You sure like to twist people's words. She didn't say anything remotely like that.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Florida2014 View Post
I definitely don't wan to ban him from soccer altogether. I want to work with him to figure it all out so that he can enjoy sports as his dad did for so many years growing up.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 09-11-2014, 09:03 PM
 
5,413 posts, read 4,823,062 times
Reputation: 9351
Quote:
Originally Posted by Hopes View Post
You sure like to twist people's words. She didn't say anything remotely like that.
Sounds to me like she's thinking it's an option....which is so far outside the box it isn't even the same room.

There is no reason why a parent would even think to ban sports based on the behavior of a three year old at one practice - heck - their first practice.....especially when the kid was acting like most 3 year olds.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:

Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Parenting
Similar Threads
Follow City-Data.com founder on our Forum or

All times are GMT -6.

2005-2018, Advameg, Inc.

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35 - Top