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Old 09-11-2014, 09:16 PM
 
1,058 posts, read 1,707,062 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Florida2014 View Post
Good advice. Can you tell I'm a first time parent??? My only thought was - why are the other kids following instructions and behaving and mine is the only one acting out? I guess that's where I get a little frustrated, but I understand every child is different.
Because it didn't grab his attention, no biggie, try again. I do agree with others to be careful with threats, it won't take him but a minute or two to figure out they are empty words and if you have a strong willed, headstrong child you could be in for a very long road.

My DS loved group sports, he started soccer at 4 but he also really excelled at gymnastics where he could do his own thing. Baseball was too slow until he was in 4th grade and it started to interest him, soccer from 4-10 was a great way to burn energy but those early years are really just a gaggle of kids all chasing the same ball. They don't learn the game until they are older.

I'd suggest showing up with a whole bunch of balls and letting each kid do their own thing, kicking skills take years to master etc.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Florida2014 View Post
I think part of the problem stems from the fact that he's not able to 100% communicate fully with us just yet. Words and broken sentences, yes. But I think he basically understands right from wrong.

I definitely don't wan to ban him from soccer altogether. I want to work with him to figure it all out so that he can enjoy sports as his dad did for so many years growing up.
He's only 3.5 years old, you have a really long time to figure it out, ease up on him and you and you will all have more fun.
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Old 09-11-2014, 09:26 PM
 
43,012 posts, read 88,958,716 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ScarletG View Post
Sounds to me like she's thinking it's an option....which is so far outside the box it isn't even the same room.
She isn't thinking it's an option. She was responding to convextech's post. Use context clues.
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Old 09-12-2014, 01:34 AM
 
6,121 posts, read 3,318,365 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Florida2014 View Post
Good advice. Can you tell I'm a first time parent??? My only thought was - why are the other kids following instructions and behaving and mine is the only one acting out? I guess that's where I get a little frustrated, but I understand every child is different.
Because he knows you allow him to get away with it.
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Old 09-12-2014, 06:45 AM
 
3,261 posts, read 2,367,170 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Hopes View Post
She isn't thinking it's an option. She was responding to convextech's post. Use context clues.
Yeah, I was responding directly to someone saying to remove him from soccer.

BTW, I'm a "he"......Soccer Dad here.
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Old 09-12-2014, 06:46 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by FrankMiller View Post
Does he play soccer at home, or was this his first experience with a soccer ball?
I bought a soccer ball and goal set for him. It keeps his interest for about 10-15 minutes or so, then he wants to move on to other things. No biggie but it wasn't his first experience with a soccer ball.
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Old 09-12-2014, 06:51 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Hopes View Post

You need to STOP worrying about what other parents think of you. That's way too much pressure to put on your child to be perfect for the sake of how others view your parenting. From your description, there were 40 kids there. Your eyes were on your son. I'm certain he wasn't the only one who was aggressive and not following instructions. Your being self conscious is causing you to exaggerate. Remember, another kid shoved your son first. That means your son wasn't the only child not behaving perfectly. I'm not excusing his behavior but you can't let yourself be embarrassed.
.
I would agree with this, I do need to not worry about what others think, but being my first experience like that and having to make the "walk of shame" out to the group of kids repeatedly, just human nature to be a little self-conscious about it.

Other kids were definitely kind of running around aimlessly, but most were following instructions.

I guess in the end it wasn't the not following instructions that bothered me, it was his aggression. I am an aggressive person and was always big into sports, as was my Dad, his Dad, etc. so I don't know why I would expect any differently. It's like most everyone here is saying, I need to give it several more classes and get him used to that environment. Going to work with him on following instructions this week with some "Simon Says" type games, as well as with the soccer ball in the yard.
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Old 09-12-2014, 06:55 AM
 
Location: South Florida
637 posts, read 1,010,047 times
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Our kids were a little older when they began sports but, from the beginning, their coaches established that during practice, coach was in charge. Before the next practice, I'd talk to the coaches and ask them how they want you to handle it. Most actually don't want parents to interfere, but they do want you to be available on the sidelines in case they need to bench the child for a few minutes.

I realize there were extenuating circumstances during this first practice, but I think the coach should have taken the time as soon as the shoving started to just go over, generally, that there is no shoving, name-calling etc and what to do if you need to use the bathroom or feel sick.

As you arrive at next practice, make sure you son has used the bathroom before he goes on the field. Take a minute to go over what you expectations of him are. You expect him to listen to his coach and respect his teammates by not shoving or pushing. If he gets shoved, he is to walk to the other side of the group, away from the kid who started it. If he shoves, or shoves back, being benched for five minutes, subject to coach's okay seems appropriate. Do this every practice, just a quick one minute reminder of very few, simple rules until he really gets it and starts putting into practice.
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Old 09-12-2014, 07:49 AM
 
13,009 posts, read 12,440,016 times
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Every single one of my friends who has had a child has eventually told me "It's not the Terrible Twos! It's the Terrible Threes!"

Kids are brats at 3. Their brains are developing rapidly, they're acquiring a more extensive vocabulary, they're gaining more motor control.... it's a lot to handle.

Limits. Expectations. Consequences.

I don't have kids, but I've got a lot of friends with extremely well-behaved children. Those are the things that all of those parents have in common. They explain exactly what they expect, what the rules are and what the consequences are. And then they follow through.

Although honestly, it seems to me that the situation you put your son in could be extremely overwhelming. That's a lot of kids and chaos. Some kids might adapt, and some kids might not.

A relative put his twin sons into soccer at the age of 4. One THRIVED on the soccer field. He loved it and quickly became the star of the team. The other son was terrified and couldn't deal. He cried the entire first practice and his parents didn't push him - he sat out that season and only came to games to cheer his brother on. A year or two later he felt ready to join a soccer team and asked his parents to sign him up - he's been happily participating for a few seasons now.

Your son might not be ready for the free-for-all that is preschool soccer is all.
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Old 09-12-2014, 07:50 AM
 
43,012 posts, read 88,958,716 times
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There's a reason age 4 was my favorite age.
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Old 09-12-2014, 08:27 AM
 
Location: Fuquay Varina
4,236 posts, read 6,189,036 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ScarletG View Post
He is three and you are thinking of banning him from sports!!. You are really putting the cart before the horse here.

You really need to read previous postings and understand the context of his reply. You are so way off base with your assumptions.
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