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Old 09-12-2014, 12:01 AM
 
118 posts, read 174,364 times
Reputation: 294

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Spinoff of this thread:
Leaving your child (less then 5) in the car for less then 1 minute???

If you would never even for a moment leave your kid to mail a letter, return a DVD, what-have-you, why not? The fear of overheating was cited frequently in the above thread, but it seems most were more akin to "stranger danger." Is that the prevailing fear? Is it kidnapping? Perverts masturbating? Kids getting out of seats? If it's overheating, what about in winter? Or what if someone drives a convertible?

There was discussion of perceived risk vs. actual risk, and I'm truly curious as to where the "call the cops!" line in the sand gets drawn - not where you would call the cops on someone else, but the specifics of where you yourself draw that line, as opposed to the vague "it's not worth it!" that there was a lot of on the other thread.

 
Old 09-12-2014, 11:03 AM
 
6,461 posts, read 6,094,894 times
Reputation: 9778
My child is not capable of defending herself and navigating the world alone. Anything can happen if you leave them in a car.

What if she is strapped in a car seat and I slip and fall knocking myself out in the store. Who would know I have a vulnerable child outside?

Here are some things that have happened before....
Overheating
Freezing
Car getting stolen with the child inside
Kidnapping
Child starts car and causes and accident or gets hurt
Police are called by Good Samaritan
Child sees a puppy and gets out of the car to go pet it....

You can't predict what a young child will do. They don't think the same way we do.

Statistically these things probably won't happen, but they do happen sometimes. parents are responsible for their kids. Period.
 
Old 09-12-2014, 12:17 PM
 
Location: Geneva, IL
12,976 posts, read 11,788,166 times
Reputation: 14677
Actually statistically the bigger risks to a child left alone in a house or a car are not abduction, but injury. Choking is very common, kids are often left snacking on cheerios or something similar. The second risk, particularly with a car, is the young child's inability to judge time, becoming anxious and getting out of the car to look for the caregiver.

Not all parents are lunatics who see pedophiles behind every tree, but knowing real risk is part of being a good parent.
 
Old 09-12-2014, 12:23 PM
 
3,153 posts, read 2,846,998 times
Reputation: 8670
Quote:
Originally Posted by thursdaymcgee View Post
Spinoff of this thread:
Leaving your child (less then 5) in the car for less then 1 minute???

If you would never even for a moment leave your kid to mail a letter, return a DVD, what-have-you, why not? The fear of overheating was cited frequently in the above thread, but it seems most were more akin to "stranger danger." Is that the prevailing fear? Is it kidnapping? Perverts masturbating? Kids getting out of seats? If it's overheating, what about in winter? Or what if someone drives a convertible?

There was discussion of perceived risk vs. actual risk, and I'm truly curious as to where the "call the cops!" line in the sand gets drawn - not where you would call the cops on someone else, but the specifics of where you yourself draw that line, as opposed to the vague "it's not worth it!" that there was a lot of on the other thread.
My brother's car was stolen while he was standing 10 feet away, at an ATM. No kid in it, fortunately. But that's not perceived risk, that's real risk. It actually happened.
 
Old 09-12-2014, 12:43 PM
 
Location: Central, NJ
2,310 posts, read 4,812,001 times
Reputation: 2964
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mnseca View Post
My brother's car was stolen while he was standing 10 feet away, at an ATM. No kid in it, fortunately. But that's not perceived risk, that's real risk. It actually happened.
Someone broke the window and hotwired the car while he was standing 10 feet away? Because only an idiot would leave their child alone in a running car so this doesn't seem like the right comparison.
 
Old 09-12-2014, 01:16 PM
 
3,153 posts, read 2,846,998 times
Reputation: 8670
Quote:
Originally Posted by Irish Eyes View Post
Someone broke the window and hotwired the car while he was standing 10 feet away? Because only an idiot would leave their child alone in a running car so this doesn't seem like the right comparison.
But they do. I've seen it. I've actually seen people double park in the city to run into the dry cleaners or UPS or whatever, and leave a sleeping baby in the car, with the car running (because it's too hot to turn it off).
 
Old 09-12-2014, 02:07 PM
 
5,500 posts, read 3,352,872 times
Reputation: 13917
For the sake of the argument, how about we eliminate all scenarios where the child is left in a running car? As a previous poster said, only an idiot would do that (only an idiot would walk away from a running car, period) and we are not talking about idiots, but reasonably intelligent and thoughtful parents.
 
Old 09-12-2014, 06:59 PM
 
15,743 posts, read 13,167,427 times
Reputation: 19636
Again, most parents aren't reacting of fear alone, but many of us weigh the benefit to the child vs. the risk to the child. Leaving a small carseat bound child in a car alone, is of no benefit to them and poses a real, albeit small risk. Therefore there is no reason to assume that risk, at least no reason for the child.

When children are learning to actually be independent, there are far better situations in which you can place a child, that while still potentially having some level of risk, have a much better potential reward. For example, an older child, say 8, 9 maybe 10, being home alone for the 15 minutes it takes to mail the letter, learns that their parents has confidence in their ability to handle themselves for short periods of time and is developmentally an important milestone. Something an infant or preschooler is not capable of learning.

Same with allowing older preteens to go places like the mall alone, or allowing even older teens to learn how to travel via public transportation alone. When my girls were 16 they wanted to go to comicon, so I told them they had to plan and execute an entire trip into NYC (we live a few hours away at the Jersey Shore) including using the subway and that I would just be following along on the first day (they had three day passes). It worked well, especially as I was there on Friday to deal with the police officer who wanted to know why they weren't in school on a Friday, and they then got to go on their own the next two days and moving forward.
 
Old 09-12-2014, 08:18 PM
 
Location: Franklin, TN
105 posts, read 87,343 times
Reputation: 160
For the most part it's strangers. I actually trust my kids a lot for their age. I know they would never willingly go off with anyone or fall for the old candy trap. But I know that they couldn't physically defend themselves, and regardless of the fact that my 6 year old would scream her butt off, the whole experience would be highly traumatic.
Then there's the factor of them getting out and not fully paying attention to cars.

I wouldn't call myself an overprotective parent, but I do use common sense. These are my reasons besides prison time annd possibly never seeing my children again.
 
Old 09-12-2014, 08:30 PM
 
Location: WI
2,820 posts, read 3,061,866 times
Reputation: 4815
Quote:
Originally Posted by Meyerland View Post
My child is not capable of defending herself and navigating the world alone. Anything can happen if you leave them in a car.

What if she is strapped in a car seat and I slip and fall knocking myself out in the store. Who would know I have a vulnerable child outside?

Here are some things that have happened before....
Overheating
Freezing
Car getting stolen with the child inside
Kidnapping
Child starts car and causes and accident or gets hurt
Police are called by Good Samaritan
Child sees a puppy and gets out of the car to go pet it....

You can't predict what a young child will do. They don't think the same way we do.

Statistically these things probably won't happen, but they do happen sometimes. parents are responsible for their kids. Period.
Can't all these things happen in a house, too? Do you never leave your child alone if you're going to the bathroom for three minutes or taking a shower for ten? I'm just sayin'.
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