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Old 09-12-2014, 05:55 PM
 
Location: Lafayette, LA
3,270 posts, read 2,481,356 times
Reputation: 7225

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Quote:
Originally Posted by ArizonaLady View Post
We've been married for 20 years and he's always been the type of guy to show his emotions and right now his emotion is sadness( not like super depressed, but bummed out) that our two teenage girls are growing up and in a short bit, we'll be empty nesters. He misses when they were 3 and 5 or 4 and 6 and how he would come home and they'd run to the door to hug him. I worked during that time as well and I know exactly how that feels to be greeted by these 2 little blonde girls. Or when we'd be watching TV and they'd come join us even after bed time. He misses those moments and feels all of the happy moments are gone. I've told him that they're are a boatload coming. Seeing them go to Prom, graduate, dropping them off at college( a little sad, but happy knowing you raised them right and have bright futures) and seeing them get married. Any ideas on how to help him cope?
How old are they? How long off is this "Empty Nest"? If they're 9-10-11-12, then he maybe should seek some counseling before the fact.
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Old 09-12-2014, 06:10 PM
 
Location: encino, CA
866 posts, read 371,768 times
Reputation: 1132
Quote:
Originally Posted by ScarletG View Post
Honestly why do some patents want to keep their kids helpless and dependant?
Because the parent is childish and NEEEEEEEEEEEEEEDY!
jim
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Old 09-12-2014, 06:37 PM
 
15,758 posts, read 13,187,771 times
Reputation: 19646
Quote:
Originally Posted by Aggiebuttercup View Post
Does he have regular "dates" with his daughters? Once a month he can take each of them out to dinner and some activity and have dad-daughter time. It's a good way for him to show an interest in who they are now and the things they like to do now.
Such a good idea!

Sometimes parents have a hard time making the switch from loving their children to loving the people their children actually are, and it can be equally as rough on the "children".
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Old 09-12-2014, 06:47 PM
 
13,496 posts, read 13,983,590 times
Reputation: 11120
now is the time for you and hubby to be together and experience life that you could not when your children were younger. travel, have date nights. your husband is a little late missing the times when they were 6, they are almost adults, as others have said there is plenty to experience as they get older.
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Old 09-12-2014, 07:26 PM
 
Location: Scottsdale,AZ
3 posts, read 3,140 times
Reputation: 10
they're 15 and 17. Freshman and junior
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Old 09-12-2014, 07:26 PM
 
1,196 posts, read 851,451 times
Reputation: 2011
My husband was also complaining all this spring that he will be totally completely unhappy when our daughter leaves for her far-far-away university. Well, since a freeloader got off my neck , I have way more time, way better mood, and I entertain him much more frequently than he could possibly imagine. So he started feeling good sides, too.
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Old 09-12-2014, 08:35 PM
 
Location: Franklin, TN
105 posts, read 87,433 times
Reputation: 160
A bit cynical, but you could remind him of how much hard work small children were.
Feeding them, bathing them, transporting them, the sacrifices.

It's great to smile at the past, but we look at it with rose colored glasses. Now, it should be more enjoyable because they can participate in conversations and games more geared towards adults, which they couldn't before.

Don't get me wrong-I love my kids being little but I look forward to the day calliou moves out.
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Old 09-12-2014, 09:07 PM
 
43,012 posts, read 89,033,856 times
Reputation: 30256
Now is the time to slowly start preparing for the empty nest via reigniting your marriage.
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Old 09-12-2014, 09:35 PM
 
726 posts, read 664,864 times
Reputation: 1710
Quote:
Originally Posted by ArizonaLady View Post
We've been married for 20 years and he's always been the type of guy to show his emotions and right now his emotion is sadness( not like super depressed, but bummed out) that our two teenage girls are growing up and in a short bit, we'll be empty nesters. He misses when they were 3 and 5 or 4 and 6 and how he would come home and they'd run to the door to hug him. I worked during that time as well and I know exactly how that feels to be greeted by these 2 little blonde girls. Or when we'd be watching TV and they'd come join us even after bed time. He misses those moments and feels all of the happy moments are gone. I've told him that they're are a boatload coming. Seeing them go to Prom, graduate, dropping them off at college( a little sad, but happy knowing you raised them right and have bright futures) and seeing them get married. Any ideas on how to help him cope?
You could point out that there are probably grandchildren to come sooner or later. Or get him a dog or something?
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Old 09-12-2014, 09:45 PM
 
Location: South Seattle Suburbs
3,348 posts, read 5,814,835 times
Reputation: 3523
Quote:
Originally Posted by ScarletG View Post
Why not learn to embrace the fun and good things to come. I love watching my daughter grow and experience life. I don't want to deny her that ever.

Honestly why do some patents want to keep their kids helpless and dependant?
Who said anything about wanting to keep the kids helpless and dependent? He just misses the days when they were little girls. I know I'll feel the same way when my 3-year-old is a young woman.
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