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Old 09-12-2014, 10:31 AM
 
Location: Scottsdale,AZ
3 posts, read 3,136 times
Reputation: 10

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We've been married for 20 years and he's always been the type of guy to show his emotions and right now his emotion is sadness( not like super depressed, but bummed out) that our two teenage girls are growing up and in a short bit, we'll be empty nesters. He misses when they were 3 and 5 or 4 and 6 and how he would come home and they'd run to the door to hug him. I worked during that time as well and I know exactly how that feels to be greeted by these 2 little blonde girls. Or when we'd be watching TV and they'd come join us even after bed time. He misses those moments and feels all of the happy moments are gone. I've told him that they're are a boatload coming. Seeing them go to Prom, graduate, dropping them off at college( a little sad, but happy knowing you raised them right and have bright futures) and seeing them get married. Any ideas on how to help him cope?
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Old 09-12-2014, 12:28 PM
 
Location: Texas
1,029 posts, read 1,155,547 times
Reputation: 1982
Does he have regular "dates" with his daughters? Once a month he can take each of them out to dinner and some activity and have dad-daughter time. It's a good way for him to show an interest in who they are now and the things they like to do now.
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Old 09-12-2014, 12:37 PM
 
Location: Texas
3,694 posts, read 2,839,253 times
Reputation: 6084
Aggie buttercup has a wonderful suggestion! (and I also like her user name).
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Old 09-12-2014, 12:41 PM
 
Location: The analog world
15,629 posts, read 8,749,121 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Texas Ag 93 View Post
Aggie buttercup has a wonderful suggestion! (and I also like her user name).
Second.

It's a bittersweet time for certain.
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Old 09-12-2014, 12:41 PM
 
Location: Scottsdale,AZ
3 posts, read 3,136 times
Reputation: 10
Quote:
Originally Posted by Aggiebuttercup View Post
Does he have regular "dates" with his daughters? Once a month he can take each of them out to dinner and some activity and have dad-daughter time. It's a good way for him to show an interest in who they are now and the things they like to do now.
great idea
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Old 09-12-2014, 12:53 PM
 
Location: Beachwood, OH
1,131 posts, read 1,368,826 times
Reputation: 959
Have an Oops Baby.

(not really)
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Old 09-12-2014, 01:04 PM
 
Location: Chapel Hill, N.C.
36,434 posts, read 41,645,868 times
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There are many kids in the foster system who would love some of that care and love.
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Old 09-12-2014, 03:11 PM
 
Location: encino, CA
866 posts, read 371,414 times
Reputation: 1132
Quote:
Originally Posted by ArizonaLady View Post
we'll be empty nesters.
LOL, but he still has YOU!


Quote:
He misses when they were 3 and 5 or 4 and 6 and how he would come home and they'd run to the door to hug him. Or when we'd be watching TV and they'd come join us even after bed time. He misses those moments and feels all of the happy moments are gone. Any ideas on how to help him cope?
This is a kind of Codependency thing where his good feelings are tied to having the kids boost his ego. So with them leaving and taking away those good feelings, he is left empty handed since he does not know how to fill him self up and obviously is not letting you fill him up. IMO, he needs to study up on Self Esteem methods to fill him self up rather than helplessly depend on others to fill him up. He is simply suffering with INADEQUATE self esteem/worth/respect and has no idea how to feel good on his own.
jim
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Old 09-12-2014, 04:03 PM
 
Location: NoVa
18,434 posts, read 28,532,606 times
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I am having the same issue with my son and daughter....
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Old 09-12-2014, 05:04 PM
 
5,413 posts, read 4,818,147 times
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Why not learn to embrace the fun and good things to come. I love watching my daughter grow and experience life. I don't want to deny her that ever.

Honestly why do some patents want to keep their kids helpless and dependant?
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