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Old 09-14-2014, 10:07 AM
 
11 posts, read 8,760 times
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Hello - I am a very new member of this forum and hope to get constructive feedback on a dilemma my husband and I have been having. He has a DD and I have a DD - mine is gay and 16 and has a wonderful girlfriend. My husband's DD is 12 and he does not want her to be exposed to gay teen sleeping together as that might give her a message she would hook up with a boy in high school and then possibly get pregnant. I say to him my DD has been open and upfront and asked if it was okay for her and her girlfriend to sleep over whenever her girlfriend comes to visit (she lives in another state, about an hour and half away). I told my husband he needs to sit down and talk with his DD about all of this and it has been sending mixed messages to my DD and her girlfriend. My DD and her girlfriend behave very appropriately and use her bedroom in privacy at night, but my husband fears this is sending a message to his DD it is okay to sleep around. Any feedback? Thanks.
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Old 09-14-2014, 10:13 AM
 
13,500 posts, read 14,010,044 times
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I would not let my daughter or son at 16 have intimate sleep overs with their partners no matter if they were gay or straight. if the friend lives to far away get her a hotel room, or have her sleep on the couch.
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Old 09-14-2014, 10:19 AM
 
43,012 posts, read 89,197,333 times
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Just because your daughter's love-interest is the same sex doesn't mean it's okay for them to sleep together as minors.
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Old 09-14-2014, 10:42 AM
 
Location: 60630
11,693 posts, read 17,102,441 times
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Op, most of us don't care about your daughter being gay. It's the fact that she is 16 and share bedroom with her girlfriend that some don't like.

Last edited by glass_of_merlot; 09-14-2014 at 11:04 AM..
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Old 09-14-2014, 10:46 AM
 
15,797 posts, read 13,230,342 times
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Another vote for not letting teens sleep together with your permission in your home.

Your husband is right, it does send a message to the younger child. And just because there is less of a chance of negative outcome when dealing with the intimacies of two women (less change of STD and no chance of pregnancy) that doesn't mean the action itself is now something parents should be championing.
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Old 09-14-2014, 11:30 AM
 
Location: The Netherlands
4,294 posts, read 2,893,634 times
Reputation: 4257
Quote:
Originally Posted by Eris2011 View Post
Hello - I am a very new member of this forum and hope to get constructive feedback on a dilemma my husband and I have been having. He has a DD and I have a DD - mine is gay and 16 and has a wonderful girlfriend. My husband's DD is 12 and he does not want her to be exposed to gay teen sleeping together as that might give her a message she would hook up with a boy in high school and then possibly get pregnant. I say to him my DD has been open and upfront and asked if it was okay for her and her girlfriend to sleep over whenever her girlfriend comes to visit (she lives in another state, about an hour and half away). I told my husband he needs to sit down and talk with his DD about all of this and it has been sending mixed messages to my DD and her girlfriend.
Quote:
My DD and her girlfriend behave very appropriately and use her bedroom in privacy at night,
Quote:
but my husband fears this is sending a message to his DD it is okay to sleep around.
Any feedback? Thanks.


you drop your own daughter in a danger as well that poor kid from your husband. How old is the other girl? As I feel this intimate relationship of your daughter is not a new thing ,other wise how come you know that they behave appropriate in their bed room. Behaving appropriate or being straight or gay is not the issue. She is still a child. And let child to be child get some education. Go to college live on her own and do what ever she wants. What you know about this girl friend any way? Same age? Do their parents know that they have intimate relationship at your house?

The fear of your husband is logical. And he is right. He is not the one who should sit down with his daughter as you say, you and your daughter! God Bless your child.
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Old 09-14-2014, 12:08 PM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
39,325 posts, read 37,940,573 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Eris2011 View Post
My DD and her girlfriend behave very appropriately and use her bedroom in privacy at night, but my husband fears this is sending a message to his DD it is okay to sleep around. Any feedback? Thanks.
The message it sends is that Mom will let you have sex with your boyfriend in her house while you are still underage.

Allowing your own daughter to do it sets a precedent.

What's next, the old, "Well they're going to do it anyway, so why not let them do it in the 'safety' of my home" argument??
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Old 09-14-2014, 12:35 PM
 
Location: southwestern PA
20,426 posts, read 35,847,759 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by hothulamaui View Post
I would not let my daughter or son at 16 have intimate sleep overs with their partners no matter if they were gay or straight. if the friend lives to far away get her a hotel room, or have her sleep on the couch.
Agreed!
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Old 09-14-2014, 12:47 PM
 
Location: The Netherlands
4,294 posts, read 2,893,634 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by hothulamaui View Post
I would not let my daughter or son at 16 have intimate sleep overs with their partners no matter if they were gay or straight. if the friend lives to far away get her a hotel room, or have her sleep on the couch.
agree with ya
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Old 09-14-2014, 01:53 PM
 
11 posts, read 8,760 times
Reputation: 32
THANK YOU all for your feedbacks - much appreciated. I will sit down with my DD and have a serious talk with her. I am all for protecting my step DD - my husband does like my DD's girlfriend, she is very nice and admits they behave appropriately just that at night when people go to bed is another story. Yes her mother (father passed away not too long ago) knows all about their relationship. They take turns visiting one another a couple of times each month because of the distance.
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