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Old 09-17-2014, 11:56 PM
 
Location: Ohio
5,627 posts, read 4,652,140 times
Reputation: 6732

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Quote:
Originally Posted by CranberryLightfan View Post
On days where I don't work and I'm with him all day. He pretty much plays all day, stopping only for 3 meals and a nap. Sometimes we get little bits of education( ABCs, simple math) in. Why no TV? I'm curious?
How much TV does he watch? A show or two or all day/most of the day? If youre honest you may find hes watching too much and needs to be outside or playing more.

What does he play? Duplo blocks? Play doh? Try some toys that engage him physically and mentally.

I was mostly asking if he had a routine/schedule. Some children do very well with a strict schedule or semi strict.

Ex:
9am- wake up, get dressed
9:15-9:30 breakfast at table
9:30-10 1 tv show
10-12 play with mommy doing creative toys (play doh, dress up, duplo)
12-12:30 lunch at the table
12:30-1 read a book with mommy
1-4 nap time
4-4:30 1 board game with mommy
4:30-5 dinner at the table
5:30-7:30 play outside, run errands, independent play
7:30-8 bath, brush teeth, get dressed for bed
8-8:30 night time story
8:30 bedtime

I threw that out there, its just an example. Toys for a 4yr old boy: dress up, musical instruments, duplo blocks, lincoln logs, cars/trucks, sensory box, stuffed animals, action figures, books, go fish, memory, etc
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Old 09-18-2014, 12:08 AM
 
18 posts, read 13,373 times
Reputation: 15
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ohky0815 View Post
How much TV does he watch? A show or two or all day/most of the day? If youre honest you may find hes watching too much and needs to be outside or playing more.

What does he play? Duplo blocks? Play doh? Try some toys that engage him physically and mentally.

I was mostly asking if he had a routine/schedule. Some children do very well with a strict schedule or semi strict.

Ex:
9am- wake up, get dressed
9:15-9:30 breakfast at table
9:30-10 1 tv show
10-12 play with mommy doing creative toys (play doh, dress up, duplo)
12-12:30 lunch at the table
12:30-1 read a book with mommy
1-4 nap time
4-4:30 1 board game with mommy
4:30-5 dinner at the table
5:30-7:30 play outside, run errands, independent play
7:30-8 bath, brush teeth, get dressed for bed
8-8:30 night time story
8:30 bedtime

I threw that out there, its just an example. Toys for a 4yr old boy: dress up, musical instruments, duplo blocks, lincoln logs, cars/trucks, sensory box, stuffed animals, action figures, books, go fish, memory, etc
books, blocks, action figures, trucks. He probably watches 2 shows a day, like kids' shows, but if I'm home and I'm watching TV so will he. Usually he's up at 9:30, lunch is at 1, snack at 3( sometimes nap at 4). Dinner at 5:30. Plays until 7:30, 7:30 is bath/pajama time/story time. bed at 8. But if I'm working and my sister Lindsay is home with him, there is no schedule, he just does whatever until Mom gets home
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Old 09-18-2014, 12:57 AM
 
Location: encino, CA
866 posts, read 373,058 times
Reputation: 1132
Quote:
Originally Posted by CranberryLightfan View Post
I am a 21 year old single mom of a 4 year old son. The father left 2 months after birth( limited communication. I didn't want the awkwardness of living with my parents so we live in an apartment with my sister. It's a very weird scenario. I did eventually graduate high school. My parenting skills are awful. He runs roughshod over my sister and I. He decides pretty much what he's doing it and when he does it. I've tried being stern with him but then he cries and I feel bad so I end up apologizing. My sister's not much help because she's always egging him on to do bad things even when he's calm. My mom's summed us up as " two playmates of his tall enough to reach the cookie jar." I really want to get him a little more disciplined. Thanks

I'd get into parenting classes or see a therapist to learn how to HELP your son before it's TOO LATE!
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Old 09-18-2014, 01:00 AM
 
Location: encino, CA
866 posts, read 373,058 times
Reputation: 1132
Quote:
Originally Posted by CranberryLightfan View Post
Stupid idea on my part, but I figured if he saw me staring, he'd get the idea " oh no, Mom's watching. I'm not suppose to be doing this. Dumb idea on my part, like I said, bad parenting skills.
I'd google: Parenting skills!
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Old 09-18-2014, 01:37 AM
 
Location: Oceania
8,623 posts, read 5,905,804 times
Reputation: 8318
If anyone has ever raised/trained/owned a dog for it's entire life it is a microcosm of the path of one's child. If you can successfully train a dog to be one you are proud of you should be able to do so with a child. You will spend more time and money and you have to pay strict attention to minutia you never expect but such is the path you chose. The average lifespan for a dog is ~12 years whereas a human is ~60.

The reverse is true as well. If you can sucessfully raise a child to adulthood you surely can a dog. A dog is almost too easy in comparison for one reason...they can't converse.
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Old 09-18-2014, 05:05 AM
 
4,750 posts, read 3,323,404 times
Reputation: 4919
I guess that's what happens when kids try to raise kids.
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Old 09-18-2014, 05:24 AM
 
35,121 posts, read 37,898,138 times
Reputation: 61848
Quote:
Originally Posted by CranberryLightfan View Post
books, blocks, action figures, trucks. He probably watches 2 shows a day, like kids' shows, but if I'm home and I'm watching TV so will he. Usually he's up at 9:30, lunch is at 1, snack at 3( sometimes nap at 4). Dinner at 5:30. Plays until 7:30, 7:30 is bath/pajama time/story time. bed at 8. But if I'm working and my sister Lindsay is home with him, there is no schedule, he just does whatever until Mom gets home

You need to get your child out from the influence of your sister, she is not helping you at all.
If the apartment is hers you need to move and find alternative child care, if the apartment is yours you need to put her out and find alternative child care.

This child will only be under control if all of those he encounters daily stay on the same program everyday.
He should never "just do whatever" until you get home.
She either steps up or one of you has to go.
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Old 09-18-2014, 09:23 AM
 
6,952 posts, read 8,895,670 times
Reputation: 7814
If you cave when he cries, he will push farther and farther and he will wind up getting everything he wants. You are lucky he still responds at all to your being stern with him. STICK TO YOUR GUNS and NEVER apologize to him unless you actually did something wrong. That's what discipline is -- sticking to your own rules.
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Old 09-18-2014, 01:31 PM
 
Location: Ohio
5,627 posts, read 4,652,140 times
Reputation: 6732
Quote:
Originally Posted by CranberryLightfan View Post
but if I'm home and I'm watching TV so will he.

But if I'm working and my sister Lindsay is home with him, there is no schedule, he just does whatever until Mom gets home
1) What are you watching around him? That can influence his behavior.

2) He cant "do whatever".
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Old 09-18-2014, 04:59 PM
 
Location: East Millcreek
2,351 posts, read 4,939,307 times
Reputation: 2547
Quote:
Originally Posted by CranberryLightfan View Post
one activity he likes doing is being put to bed, only to come out 15 minutes later and eat Oreos while my sister and I just stare at him. Happens almost daily. I've told him " no cookies after bedtime" but he does it anyway.
False. You mean "but I let him do it anyway." What you are doing with this stuff is actually TEACHING him that he can do what he wants and be allowed to do so.

You need to start acting like a parent and find the word "no." And then you need to back it up. Guess what? He won't like it. He'll cry. He'll say he hates you. But eventually he'll learn that you mean what you say and everyone's life will improve. Do this NOW. TODAY. In a few years you'll have an uncontrollable youthful offender on your hands.
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